Story Work will set you free

[Pure]

However, even if you do maintain it through focused meditation practice, is it worth it?

I think so. I never planned on my future experience with ayahuasca being a one and done thing irt spiritual work and inner understanding. And I will say that since ayahuasca (the plant I'm interested in to experience an ego death) has been used for centuries by indigenous tribes for medicine and healing, I feel comfortable in viewing it as a start to a lifelong journey and not a singular permanent decision which may make it worthwhile.

 

[Makko]

No shrooms yet but boss said tomorrow he will bring me cake

 

[Pure]

No shrooms yet but boss said tomorrow he will bring me cake

What kind of cake tho

 

[BrokenArrow]

They opened the meeting by raising their claim from $ 500 000 to $ 1,8 million. My stance was that they get $ 0.

Balls of steel.

Do you have a state of the art home security system, OP?

I've heard so many cases of attorneys/witnesses getting pulled into intimidation tactics. Stay safe.

 

[Makko]

What kind of cake tho

Princess cake - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

It doesn't look like much but it tastes like heaven. To people who can enjoy things, at least.

Balls of steel.

Do you have a state of the art home security system, OP?

I've heard so many cases of attorneys/witnesses getting pulled into intimidation tactics. Stay safe.

I didn't invite them home, of course. The meeting was in my organization's office with armed guards posted outside the room, and I was given an alarm button. I don't think that would have helped though, had they actually intended to do something.

Still waiting for their "documents". See if mr Fraud emails me a virus out of spite.

 

[Mendex]

(I like the clip you linked very much.)

.

Philip Glass is always a good additive to appreciate modernity.
(Good sequel by the way).

 

[miminkpo]

I'll tell you what I relate to, but first let me tell you: even if I don't feel alike in some things, I can see how what you're expressing is completely justified.

I do really like being alone, as you do. From ages 10 to 16, I had been a recluse. I put myself in front of a computer, all day long. I just went to school, socialized a bit there and came back to be alone. I also had a lot going on, some things I cannot even tell to strangers online. However, at home not only I felt safe: I just didn't feel like I needed to be anywhere else, nor with anyone.

Sometime when I became 16, I went on an cultural exchange to Germany with some classmates. Now, there I had to socialize all day long, go out and about with them. I became noticeable. I made friends. It didn't feel nice nor bad. However, I also had problems just saying no so with the friends I made I started to go out and socialize. I made even more friends. With each and every one of them, I felt I was becoming another person. I felt, I was changing too quick in between people. I felt like I wasn't being genuine, I felt some kind of trickster, an evil person. I was disgusted by myself, because I thought I discovered what a bad person I was. I didn't even know who I was anymore, to be honest.

I felt overly stimulated. Thoroughly depressed. I started skipping school (here we diverge). I spent all day in bed. I started losing all the energy I had. I could no longer get up, no longer go out. Bed had become a prison and the alternative was... another prison. To go outside. To socialize. I could no longer enjoy my time alone, without being riddled with horrible thoughts. And somehow... I felt that I've had those thoughts all my life, just that I felt okay in a bubble I had created for myself.

When there was quarantine, I truly enjoyed it. It reminded me of spending entire summer vacations at home. It reminded of peace and quiet when no one was there to bother me. Not a single soul asking me anything, nobody to summon me into the real world. Now, I'm also been at home, not going out a single time for two months. However... I get messages. Calls from my therapist, from social services, from my friends. I feel bad, getting people worried. And I also know, that keeping this up only might get them to call an ambulance or the police.

I wish people would just leave me alone. People don't bother me in themselves. They can be funny, they can be nice, they can make time go faster. I've even loved somebody before. There's nothing wrong with people. What I can't stand is people having a need for me, or even worse a need for my safety and prolongued existence. I hope that someday everybody just forgot about me.

Sorry for the long response. Thanks for reading it, I hope it resonated with you.

 

[Makko]

I'll tell you what I relate to, but first let me tell you: even if I don't feel alike in some things, I can see how what you're expressing is completely justified.

I do really like being alone, as you do. From ages 10 to 16, I had been a recluse. I put myself in front of a computer, all day long. I just went to school, socialized a bit there and came back to be alone. I also had a lot going on, some things I cannot even tell to strangers online. However, at home not only I felt safe: I just didn't feel like I needed to be anywhere else, nor with anyone.

Sometime when I became 16, I went on an cultural exchange to Germany with some classmates. Now, there I had to socialize all day long, go out and about with them. I became noticeable. I made friends. It didn't feel nice nor bad. However, I also had problems just saying no so with the friends I made I started to go out and socialize. I made even more friends. With each and every one of them, I felt I was becoming another person. I felt, I was changing too quick in between people. I felt like I wasn't being genuine, I felt some kind of trickster, an evil person. I was disgusted by myself, because I thought I discovered what a bad person I was. I didn't even know who I was anymore, to be honest.

I felt overly stimulated. Thoroughly depressed. I started skipping school (here we diverge). I spent all day in bed. I started losing all the energy I had. I could no longer get up, no longer go out. Bed had become a prison and the alternative was... another prison. To go outside. To socialize. I could no longer enjoy my time alone, without being riddled with horrible thoughts. And somehow... I felt that I've had those thoughts all my life, just that I felt okay in a bubble I had created for myself.

When there was quarantine, I truly enjoyed it. It reminded me of spending entire summer vacations at home. It reminded of peace and quiet when no one was there to bother me. Not a single soul asking me anything, nobody to summon me into the real world. Now, I'm also been at home, not going out a single time for two months. However... I get messages. Calls from my therapist, from social services, from my friends. I feel bad, getting people worried. And I also know, that keeping this up only might get them to call an ambulance or the police.

I wish people would just leave me alone. People don't bother me in themselves. They can be funny, they can be nice, they can make time go faster. I've even loved somebody before. There's nothing wrong with people. What I can't stand is people having a need for me, or even worse a need for my safety and prolongued existence. I hope that someday everybody just forgot about me.

Sorry for the long response. Thanks for reading it, I hope it resonated with you.

Adapting to the people you are hanging out with is a sign of social competence. It's how people get any kind of control over their social advancement and get themselves somewhere they want to be. Unfortunately, as you noticed, being good at something and deriving pleasure from it are not the same, but it is a large asset that you have and can be used to other ends. Should you survive, it will open doors to most of the experiences that normal people can have, and among them may be what you need in the world.

Most of the positive non-social experiences that I could enjoy are only accessible by social means, direcly or indirectly. Even though we can never be satisfied with friendships and relationships in themselves, they are the necessary tools to get the things we want, or may come to want. Sociality to us is like a soup bowl, you can't eat it, but you need it to hold your soup.

I didn't even know who I was anymore, to be honest.

My response to this was to let go of the notion that I am someone, and that I can take the shape of water. Judging from your post, you won't have problems roleplaying anything you please, and know how to tell the difference between the public you and the private you. The public you is only a tool to gain experiences, and in the final analysis it's not important if you had to change it 1000 times throughout your life. People won't see it as trickery, they'll just be happy to see someone who suits them. The private you is only for yourself, and once you can draw the line between public and private you, you won't feel a loss of identity when changing the public you. Being a roleplayer can be a comfortable part of the private you, while you know that it is a definite part of who you are, and not something uncertain.

 

[Makko]

It's past midnight and I'm just back from an annual meeting where Iwas hired as external chairman. The meeting went on for 7 hours. I'm pretty proud of my efficiency since I booked 8 hours for it (17:00-01:00). Pretty admirable how these people can stay up and fight over absolutely everything between heaven and earth. These meeting really clue me in on the pettiness of the normie mind

 

[Kattt]

I appreciate your honesty and sharing your history
But I must admit what attracted my attention, having been to Aushvitz, was your title

 

[Makko]

I appreciate your honesty and sharing your history
But I must admit what attracted my attention, having been to Aushvitz, was your title

I've been there too and didn't see anything too far out of the ordinary.

 

[Kattt]

I've been there too and didn't see anything too far out of the ordinary.

It's just a horrific example of what we are capable of. Right now, things are very bleak and it's frightening

 

[Makko]

I want to make a pokemon fangame where you play team rocket and exploit pokemon for profit

 

[Lmd]

I want to make a pokemon fangame where you play team rocket and exploit pokemon for profit

Isn't something like that in development? You just have to change the perspective a bit to be the owner of the gun company

 

[meetapple]

I have very poor work experience despite having a graduate degree in law. I always thought that my lack of work experience was the cause of my low self esteem and a contributor to my suicidal ideation. However after reading many threads on this site talking about how miserable people are with their jobs I am not so sure. However I almost feel that I shouldn't have the right to enjoy myself because I have no job. My ability to assimilate into society is affected because I am never around people. The times I do have to go out are miserable because of my poor social efficacy. I think one way or the other my life will always be screwed up.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

.

Philip Glass is always a good additive to appreciate modernity.
(Good sequel by the way).

And the whole circus that is the modern corporate environment is run by people like this:



[I really don't like Glass, but his music works well with montages like the above one.]

 

[Versailles]

I have very poor work experience despite having a graduate degree in law. I always thought that my lack of work experience was the cause of my low self esteem and a contributor to my suicidal ideation. However after reading many threads on this site talking about how miserable people are with their jobs I am not so sure. However I almost feel that I shouldn't have the right to enjoy myself because I have no job. My ability to assimilate into society is affected because I am never around people. The times I do have to go out are miserable because of my poor social efficacy. I think one way or the other my life will always be screwed up.

The same thing happens to me, ṕI would refer to jobs where I do not have to socialize with other people, it is very difficult for me to leave a good impression on them. One of my last jobs included exposing my genital area to high temperatures, I ended up quitting for fear that it would affect me

 

[Makko]

Isn't something like that in development? You just have to change the perspective a bit to be the owner of the gun company

The most important thing is that you don't end up being a pokemon professor. Not a good deal:

 

[Makko]

Today

Boss: you are being promoted
Me:

 

[Makko]

It's sunday night. That's all.

 

[Samsara]

OP, I resonate a lot of everything you said. I tend to be most miserable when I'm not working (i.e., at home). Work serves to distract me from my misery.

 

[Makko]

OP, I resonate a lot of everything you said. I tend to be most miserable when I'm not working (i.e., at home). Work serves to distract me from my misery.

I had to take a two week vacation staring tomorrow. Only the weekend, two days, has passed and I already don't know what to do with myself. Something is going to happen in this time.

 

[bad luck]

In my language, to work, is written "trabajar", the etymology of the word is "tripaliāre" which in Latin means to torture. The tripalium: torture instrument composed of three wood

 

[Pure]

I had to take a two week vacation staring tomorrow. Only the weekend, two days, has passed and I already don't know what to do with myself. Something is going to happen in this time.

Sleep

 

[Makko]

Sleep

I get my solid 8-9 hours of sleep and can't sleep more.

Fortunately this week wasn't much of a vacation because a whole bunch of clients decided to have "emergencies" this exact week.

 

[Makko]

Sleep

Made me go re-read this again:

"Beyond the Wall of Sleep" by H. P. Lovecraft

'Beyond the Wall of Sleep' by H. P. Lovecraft

www.hplovecraft.com

 

[Makko]

I promised some people I'd work yesterday and today, but didn't. Just sat around zoning out for most of the time. Expecting an inbox full of angry emails.

 

[Makko]

Today is the last day of my half-assed "vacation". I've spent all of it in a dissociated daze and don't feel rested at all. On my work phone I have 12 missed calls and 100+ unread emails. What a wonderful monday it will be

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

It has to be rewarding work. If you don't feel valued as an employee (through dismal wages, disrespect, poor conditions, no hope of advancement, being taken for granted in general, etc), it's going to reinforce all the beliefs that make you depressed.

I think putting a depressed person on a "work scheme" for a wage too low for them to even survive on is possibly the worst thing you can do. It just reinforces, "you aren't even worth minimum wage".

 

[BrokenArrow]

OP. was there any further follow up with Mr Murder? Or Mr Fraud?

Did they send documents laced with malware or anything else sinister?