Venting Meds aren't working as they used to.

[LonelyPrince]

The fact that I'm even on here means that my medication isn't having the same effect as before.
I don't feel like I used to before taking them but I also don't feel as good as I did like 2 months ago or something.
I keep watching videos of death and scrolling around threads about methods.
I really feel the urge to od on something.
I deeply regret not buying xanax when it was prescribed to me before I revealed about my suicidal tendencies. I have no way of getting my hands onto certain substances.

I don't feel the drive to draw nor to create anything: all i do is just fantasize about tommorrow being a better day, but it NEVER is.

Tommorrow comes and it's the exact fucking same.

My life seems to be going off the rails:
I feel like I'm wasting my time
I've lost my drive to create and can't get it back
I don't know how to improve
I'm stuck in an unsupportive household
I'm financially dependent on abusive caretakers
I'm lonely
I'm trapped and can't start hormone therapy

I don't really want to die: I mean, if it happens it happens. I mostly just want to lose consciousness and wake up in a hospital.

 

[traininggshoe64]

I'm sorry to hear this LonelyPrince. Have you been able to understand the root cause of your depression? I've found that the medical profession looks to antidepressants as the only answer but offer little help to people in understanding how they've become so depressed. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you

 

[LonelyPrince]

I'm sorry to hear this LonelyPrince. Have you been able to understand the root cause of your depression? I've found that the medical profession looks to antidepressants as the only answer but offer little help to people in understanding how they've become so depressed. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you

My depression is caused mostly by childhood trauma and dysphoria. I have no idea how to fix my trauma. My psychiatrist doesn't really offer me alternatives outside of pills