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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
a3e.jpg
Postmodernism has even claimed the bedrooms, what do you think it has done to the offices?
 
EmbraceOfTheVoid

EmbraceOfTheVoid

Part Time NEET - Full Time Suicidal
Mar 29, 2020
689
Wageslavery is the devil, only NEETdom will set you free. Head north towards seclusion in the mountains before it's too late.

Realistically I'd just sit there in the baking sun and wait for a venomous snake to put an end to me.
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
Feels great to be sick over the weekend, it doen't impact my work schedule that much.
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
maybe the real "profit" was the friends we made along the way
True. I've made so many friends and invested them all, so now they're out there recruiting even more friends for me.
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
I planned on getting a lot of work done on the weekend and didn't do anything today, that means everything has to be done tomorrow.
 
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Mendex

Mendex

The Sleep of reason produces monsters
Jan 9, 2021
193
I planned on getting a lot of work done on the weekend and didn't do anything today, that means everything has to be done tomorrow.
I planned on getting a lot of study and practice in computer science on the weekend and didn't do anything today, That means i'm not gonna sleep tomorrow.
Time to enhances my techno-paranoid lifestyle
 
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Y

Yasuke

Member
Jan 29, 2020
93
I feel the opposite, and would rather off myself than go to work, in the same way I'd rather jump from a burning building than to burn alive inside of it. So ultimately it can really set me free, albeit in a less direct way.
 
motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
There are many complaints about the burden of having to pretend. Pretend to be happy when you're sad. Pretend you care when you don't. Pretend you don't care, when you do. I have the opposite problem. Being fake is easy and being genuine is hard. I can roleplay just about anything, as long as I don't have to reveal what I actually feel or think. I've ever revealed my genuine thoughts and feelings in person to anyone in my life. Not once. On rare occasions, I've tried posting them anonymously online. That produced me some awkward responses. This forum is no different. Maybe this one thread will be?

I feel like an alien in exile. People are like a different, disguisting species. This is not a philosophical standpoint. It's the physical things. The way they look, move, smell and sound. It's intolerable. It's the same feeling I'd guess most others get when they see an extremely enlarged picture of some slimy, wriggly slug or other crawlie. Nobody can or should be engaged with. Nothing feels real. And I don't have anything to blame this on. It was like this to start with. I'd escape into the mountains and never meet a person again, if my body was hardy enough for such a life. It grieves me deeply that it isn't.

So I've been evading people and their unwelcome affections ever since I gained self-awareness. I don't touch or get touched by anyone at all except at the hairdresser. People fill their lives with each other, and since I can't do that, instead I fill life with work. I used to work 100% and study 200% until I got five different degrees. I thought that would make me look diligent to employers, but I was advised to leave out at least two of those degrees from my resume. Apparently it didn't exactly make me look diligent, it rather made me look disturbed. So now I don't study anymore, instead I just work as long as I'm awake, without holidays or vacations. Except for maybe an hour in the evening for relaxing at home. I'm a final stage workaholic. There are no 12 step programs because ain't nobody wasting good working hours on that. Seeing my monthly results feels pretty great. Almost as great as coming home and having a little time to myself. But not too much time, or I'd derealize completely.

A bit of background is that I moved from East Asia to Europe with my immediate family when I was about 11, with a large extended family left in Asia. Since then, my parents have left, but I'm still here at 28. Now I don't have anyone here. No family, no friends, nothing. There's no bonding with people for me, and that doesn't bother me. It does bother me that it doesn't bother me. Being 100% alone is a very weak position to be in. It turns the simplest practical things into a menace and in the long term it will be my undoing. I don't want to enjoy it. But I enjoy it in the same way some people enjoy alcohol and heroin, so there won't be "just go home" or "just find someone" for me. Being sober is worse than the addiction.
I think you said you weren't on the autistic spectrum. Have you ever been tested?
 
Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
I think you said you weren't on the autistic spectrum. Have you ever been tested?
No. As I've said elsewhere, nothing good will come from being a registered nutcase, and if they test me, they'll surely find something. I doubt it'll be autism though. I don't see any autists making it in my field.

The odd feelings about people are more from the fact that I've been moved around too much as a kid and got stuck in a perpetual state of culture shock.

Why autism of all things?
 
motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
No. As I've said elsewhere, nothing good will come from being a registered nutcase, and if they test me, they'll surely find something. I doubt it'll be autism though. I don't see any autists making it in my field.

The odd feelings about people are more from the fact that I've been moved around too much as a kid and got stuck in a perpetual state of culture shock.

Why autism of all things?
Because of your odd feelings about people, why else? Also, people on the spectrum can have extremely successful careers in all kinds of fields. I guess getting a diagnosis of that kind is pointless anyway, it's not like there's a cure. Many think there isn't even a problem
 
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H

Heart Shards

The shards of my broken heart cut deep.
Feb 3, 2019
535
Work is a form of slavery IMO
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
I've billed double my monthly budget in May. That's my record so far.

There was also a bit of office drama. We sometimes work in client teams (a manager, a controller, an engineer, a lawyer and a secretary) and this one client is in the middle of a big renovation project. The project has gone way over estimated costs and the poor client needs intense help with putting out the proverbial fire. However, the cheeky manager in our client team refuses to work weekends which forced me to do his job. I inquired with the boss about firing the manager, which the boss did. Now they're recruiting someone who's actually (hopefully) going to help out in tight spots. Get outta my office with your work-life balance crap.
 
Bullit

Bullit

Mage
May 6, 2021
504
Makko ,how attractive are you? You can respond in general terms or the 1to10 scale. Just curious.
 
Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
Billed 10 hours today with 50 % overtime markup. So that's 15 ordinary hours. Weekends are great, I don't get how people can waste a good weekend on having free time or whatever.
 
newave3

newave3

I want out
Nov 21, 2020
2,802
Fuck working. I hate it. All jobs suck.
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
I can't concentrate on anything except work. I've tried playing some video games but after 20 minutes I just space out. I wish I could work 16 hours per day, sleep 8 hours and not do anything else. Sadly I don't have the stamina to work that much and have had trouble daydreaming lately, so I don't know what to do with myself. Every idle second is torture.
 
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D

Deleted member 8579

Enlightened
Apr 28, 2021
1,323
I can't concentrate on anything except work. I've tried playing some video games but after 20 minutes I just space out. I wish I could work 16 hours per day, sleep 8 hours and not do anything else. Sadly I don't have the stamina to work that much and have had trouble daydreaming lately, so I don't know what to do with myself. Every idle second is torture.
I am sure you already have considered this yourself, but why don't you get yourself a hobby that requires a lot of mental effort?
From what I could gather, you are not particularly passionate about your profession, but merely pursue it in order to drown out the banality of existence. Hence, you should not struggle with picking up a hobby you are not particularly passionate about either, as long as it distracts your mind.
You may not have the stamina to spend 16 hours a day on the same subject, but if you had two to alternate between, you might be able to avoid the threat of leisure.
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
I am sure you already have considered this yourself, but why don't you get yourself a hobby that requires a lot of mental effort?
From what I could gather, you are not particularly passionate about your profession, but merely pursue it in order to drown out the banality of existence. Hence, you should not struggle with picking up a hobby you are not particularly passionate about either, as long as it distracts your mind.
You may not have the stamina to spend 16 hours a day on the same subject, but if you had two to alternate between, you might be able to avoid the threat of leisure.
I come home completely destroyed and unable to do anything besides passive things like listening to music and daydreaming. I don't have the energy to fill out 16 hours a day with effortful things. I'm waiting for my daydreaming vibe to recover, it's been disturbed by worldly family matters that have pulled me down from the clouds for a while.
 
Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
Only 13870 days left until retirement

Provided they won't raise the retirement age on the way, which they most certainly will
 
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MellowAvenue

MellowAvenue

👻
Nov 5, 2020
658
I honestly wanted to be like you for a time. When I got my first real job I threw myself headfirst into it and it was virtually all that I did. I guess for me it was ultimately a short-term solution to a long-term mental problem because ultimately I've crashed hard and never felt lower. Still have my job but don't know for how much longer because I now have trouble going into work.

Anyway, I'm glad you found something that works for you, or rather someone to work for in your case.
 
BrokenArrow

BrokenArrow

Student
Feb 6, 2021
175
What I exactly do you do
I think OP is a corporate lawyer?? Correct me as I'm probably wrong, but it's something like that.

I remember she had someone fired as they didn't fancy working weekends lol.

Still, sociopathic traits are what allow you to rise to the top in the corporate world.
 
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