I dont believe in the afterlife either and i dont have much good family, or ppl im close to. But ill always wish that after i ctb, my cousins and best friends will reunite with me somehow after my ctb.
But until their time, i know my soul will fly the earth to find my grandmothers. I miss her everyday, and whenever i think of ctb, even though she'd hate to see her baby go through that, i think of how ill finally be able to feel her hugs again. A few years ago she was murdered and i never got my closure, so it helps to just be like "At least ill be able to see my other half again."