I probably made the same post plenty of other times, but it helps to talk about it. In short I have chronic nerve pain in my hands (rsi). It's different case by case, but a lot of people including myself see massive limitations. Recovery is incredibly slow and challenging, you're lucky if you’re back to normal within a year. I can barely use my phone or computer. So I lost my job, and I can't play video games anymore. And I was dumb enough to use a foot pedal as a clicking replacement. I thought that because I walked multiple times a day I'd be ok, and that life couldn't possibly get worse. But within a week I got the same thing in my foot. It's my fault, but it doesn't make it any more fair. And when and if I recover, I have the disadvantage of being on the spectrum, so I'm sure finding a career will go just great. I'm just tired of feeling fucking bored and sad all at the time, I wish I could just have my life back. I have put so much time and effort into recovery this past year and it isn't enough. I just want it be over, and I don't care how. This kind of suffering is so hard to describe, I'll have up tics of hope, then I'm eventually reminded that that hope is stupid. And it happens over and over again. I really want to experience the fruits of life more, but I don't think that's in the cards for me.
