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Dear Agony

Dear Agony

The Void
Jan 24, 2020
296
Traumatic childhood and as a result, I have multiple mental illnesses that made me paralyzed at home, unemployed, don't study, no friends or partner or anyone that cares about me. I'm in agony and pain every waking moment. I also don't believe in God or that there is any reason why I'm suffering.
 
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Jumping_realms

Jumping_realms

★☆★ ☠️★☆★
Jul 4, 2021
483
Life is so painful that there has become beauty in death.

It calls for me more and more by the day.

I can't wait to euthanize myself, it is far past due.
 
Last edited:
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Reactions: Dear Agony, filthyrottendirty and Superdeterminist
F

filthyrottendirty

Experienced
Feb 20, 2021
222
I'm autistic poor ugly stupid unemployed broke with no friends or s/o

But its mainly the autism tbh
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
Life has been over for me for 14 years. Permanent acne skin condition ruined any chance of social mobility. Verbal abuse by being called ugly, pimple face, and others not wanting to be around me left me in emotional pain and lack of confidence.

trauma from an aggressive ex that took my virginity and caused me more emotional pain. Turned to alcohol to cope

I just see no reason in continuing here

I see none of this getting better, still live with my parents, lost desire to find a good job because of my traumatic life experience of acne and aggressive ex years ago I dated casually out of naivety I wish I listed to my intuition , I just don't want to work because of emotional pain. And now another casual encounter where I embarrassed myself I don't want to remember any of this. Only 3 more weeks is all I can hold out for if that
 
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Reactions: Lost1804, tryingtoescape and not4us
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,450
I simply do not like existing. I see life as tedious and pointless. Living does not appeal to me in any way. I dislike simply being conscious and aware of everything. I want to die to prevent decades of meaningless suffering. I have always struggled with life due to being born with neurological conditions and now I have physical ones. I am full of dread for the future and now I am just tired.
 
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punkarmadillo

punkarmadillo

Member
Jan 18, 2023
50
because my life isn't a life. It's a misery filled existence. I am already dead, I just need to dispose of the packaging
 
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Reactions: Manfrotto99 and outrider567
S

sigil_sara

Member
Jan 18, 2023
60
I am barely existing. Agoraphobia has its hold on me. Ever since my husband died I have wanted to join him
 
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Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra and katagiri83
arcadia

arcadia

.
Jan 5, 2023
138
I feel sick everytime I leave the house, the world is so disorienting. I feel so scared whenever anybody tries to speak to me because I can't read what they're saying at all. When it comes to academics, I have terrible impostor syndrome and I can't study to save my life. Going to school makes me panicked and anxious, and I've been staying at home for almost a year now instead of going to Uni. I can't take care of myself, even basic tasks feel damn near impossible. I'm a disappointment to everyone I know, and my life is a combination of what is mostly misery, with the rare occasion of joy. And eventually those occassions stopped happening. Now I have so much brain fog to the point where I can't speak eloquently anymore, I can't think at all. I'm legit falling apart everyday. I need to leave before I get even worse. I have anxiety typing this just thinking of the next time I go outside, I'm truly trapped with no help available.
 
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wait.what

wait.what

no really, what?
Aug 14, 2020
990
1) Genetic predisposition to a list of unpleasant things, all exacerbated by stress
2) Childhood lived in constant terror
3) Getting old and tired
 
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Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra and murakamicats
W

wantittoendsoon

Experienced
Dec 11, 2022
248
Terminal Illness
 
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Inferno

Inferno

Member
Jan 9, 2023
79
I hate who I am as a person, I'm not worthy of living. I have no connection to others, I am isolated from society and have been abandoned. I hate people, I realised this when I was 8 years old and it's what made me suicidal.
 
L

Ligottian

Paragon
Dec 19, 2021
965
1) Genetic predisposition to a list of unpleasant things, all exacerbated by stress
2) Childhood lived in constant terror
3) Getting old and tired
Pretty much the same, but I would replace your #2 with this. Lonelinesss. Lack of social/sexual life.
 
rifle

rifle

never seen a hero like me in a sci-fi
Jan 15, 2023
25
I don't think I am capable of happiness, and I am not convinced that the idea of fulfilling and happy life is something more than society's attempt at coping
 
T

tieiwi

Experienced
Dec 11, 2021
240
Didn't have the best childhood. Life isn't any better now. No one in my family actually cares. They all say they do just because we're related but they don't actually care about my feelings. They never take me seriously and think I'm a joke. I'm scared after I ctb they will see these posts and make fun of them too. I have no confidence, no ambition, no joy. I feel very empty.
 
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Heartbroken2022

Heartbroken2022

Member
Jan 3, 2023
28
No will to live. Life is suffering, just trying to survive until next day comes. Also seeing other people suffer from same situation.
 
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T

The end of the road

New Member
Dec 30, 2022
1
A bad cocktail of love life failure and live failure itself and me being highly dependent on a love partner as motivation in life.
 
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Reactions: Heartbroken2022
freevoid

freevoid

Student
Jul 11, 2022
137
24/7 shit health (mental/physical).

Earth is a terrifying ghetto.

Physical existence is ultimately boring. The novelty always fades.
 
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Reactions: lelouch22
bennydiazapine

bennydiazapine

Member
Dec 4, 2022
87
Hopelessness, no quality of life due to my depression.

No signs or hope of it getting any better, sick of suffering.
 
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Reactions: freevoid and outrider567
C

ctb7767

Member
Dec 4, 2022
97
I ruined someone's life and can't forgive myself. It's a shame because I have an otherwise good life.
 
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Reactions: lelouch22 and DreamEnd
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,990
I am just so tired of carrying the ghosts of the past,l try to tell myself that I was carrying out my CO's order's but that doesn't rid me of the guilt l carry!
 
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Reactions: freevoid
L

Lostalongtheway

Member
Dec 14, 2021
9
Quality of life between autism and this weird ass autoimmune disorder
 
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Reactions: freevoid
S

SpenceGence

Member
May 22, 2022
15
I probably made the same post plenty of other times, but it helps to talk about it. In short I have chronic nerve pain in my hands (rsi). It's different case by case, but a lot of people including myself see massive limitations. Recovery is incredibly slow and challenging, you're lucky if you're back to normal within a year. I can barely use my phone or computer. So I lost my job, and I can't play video games anymore. And I was dumb enough to use a foot pedal as a clicking replacement. I thought that because I walked multiple times a day I'd be ok, and that life couldn't possibly get worse. But within a week I got the same thing in my foot. It's my fault, but it doesn't make it any more fair. And when and if I recover, I have the disadvantage of being on the spectrum, so I'm sure finding a career will go just great. I'm just tired of feeling fucking bored and sad all at the time, I wish I could just have my life back. I have put so much time and effort into recovery this past year and it isn't enough. I just want it be over, and I don't care how. This kind of suffering is so hard to describe, I'll have up tics of hope, then I'm eventually reminded that that hope is stupid. And it happens over and over again. I really want to experience the fruits of life more, but I don't think that's in the cards for me.
 
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Reactions: outrider567 and freevoid
WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,429
I wish I was born female and was not. I am extremely envious of the female sex and I am extremely depressed as a result of my intense gender dysphoria.

Though, I don't "want" to die. It just beats out coping for me.
 
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Reactions: GasMonkey and lelouch22

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