i admit, i'm fucked up like you, i would laugh my ass off seeing my body after being run over, but man, the train driver doesn't deserve this, he is gonna blame himself and wish over and over he could have done something else, seen you earlier, etc... And this man is gonna have PTSD, and believe he is the reason you died. And that is EVEN if he prepared. No matter how much support he got, no matter how ready or how it happens, they WILL feel guilty. I'm a suicidal maniac, but even me i refuse to make someone suffer so hard just for a painless death.