because every second im still alive feels like agony
im all alone whether i want to be or not, people dont even notice when im not around anymore
and they dont remember me when im gone
im incapable of making an impact anywhere i go- and the rare occasions when i do, its not a positive one
everyone i love leaves no matter how hard i fight to change so they wont
i make the same mistakes every chance i get despite trying so hard not to
im not a good person, im not attractive, im not funny, im not intelligent, im not memorable
im barely even here as is, a husk of a human being
a silhouette where a person should be
and that comes with so much unbearable loneliness that i cannot stand any longer
the only reason i havent *tried* yet is because im too much of a coward, and im scared of the fact that i might always be