Discussion Why do you live and why do you want to die?

[Eudaimonic]

I'm alive because dying is not possible for the time being since I live with others. I want to die for numerous reasons, the most significant of which are some of the mental disorders I have (the worst of which is incurable, and only somewhat treatable) that cause me constant suffering.

 

[warmopportunity]

I'm alone and broken and can't find joy in what life has realistically to offer, got 18-19 attempts under my belt and only partial organ failures to show(my kidneys would like to thank antifreeze). I hope we can all realize our aspirations, regardless of what they are

 

[brokeandbroken]

I've been thinking a lot about when to put an end to my own suffering, I already have my own 2-phase method in case one goes wrong. But what I need to resolve is my reasons, if they really suit me, I live a kind of paradox where I know I'm going to suffer a lot but I still hope it magically changes, although attempts to improve always say no
What are the reasons that make you want to live and want to die?

Live- I have at times experienced some happy moments. Like I have the capacity to love life, however, my situation currently doesn't allow for any. It's been a long long time since I experienced any true happiness. I will admit dying scares me not the what's next part I know I am going to heaven but rather if something goes wrong then it's going to be very wrong and the consequences are horrific and worse then death.
Die- There's so little happiness in my life. I have been thrown away like a piece of trash.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I've been thinking a lot about when to put an end to my own suffering, I already have my own 2-phase method in case one goes wrong. But what I need to resolve is my reasons, if they really suit me, I live a kind of paradox where I know I'm going to suffer a lot but I still hope it magically changes, although attempts to improve always say no
What are the reasons that make you want to live and want to die?

I'm still alive bc when I was very suicidal I did not go ahead with my method, I didn't even really attempt. I want to die - it'd be better if I was already dead - bc of my big failure in life. There won't be any satisfying recovery and I have no motivation and no energy that - maths and age are against me. Yet there's hope (too much hope among other things like I actually never wanted to die early).

I know I'm going to suffer a lot but I still hope it magically changes, although attempts to improve always say no

I can relate. The thing is we don't know the future. In my case - I could win the lottery next week and my problem is solved. Unlikely but possible - I don't the future.

 

[illvoid]

I want to live because part of me wants to see if things get better, and it would absolutely destroy my girlfriend if I was gone (like genuinely don't think she would ever recover from that). I want to die because my mental instability impairs every aspect of my life, I have little to no control over my life at the moment & I'm a shitty person to be around. Also agoraphobia (& currently not being able to leave the house even if I wanted to) causing me to lose basically all my close friends.

 

[Abyssal]

I live because I'm not yet ready. I want to die because my brain is wired against me.

 

[Todsünde]

I'm always stumbling along the edge of getting back up again and finally throwing myself down there.
Life showed me how beautiful it can be and I've experienced some rly amazing things even during times of great despair. I've met some beautiful souls even from here in irl and I'm continuing to do so. Even now in a homeless shelter I'm able to see a way out and having some good times again even though it means to go back into homelessness and walking one step after the other through the world being broke af.

The thing is I've got back on my feet endless times by now and I'm getting rly fucking tired to fight. Fight for myself and against myself at the same time. Everything I've ever had was a struggle and I guess that's fine since life isn't fair but it's tiring. I do the same mistakes over and over again because my brain still seeks stuff I never got during my life so far through something from the outside even though I know by now I have to give it to myself. Self hatred rly makes it hard for me to give me those things and I still believe I don't deserve them even though everybody does. Life has endless suffering to offer and there's no way around it. Only accepting this fact and living with it and I'm not sure I can do so. So for me the biggest reasons why I wanna die is the constant struggle to try to be happy and the fact that there's no life without experiencing and causing suffering.

 

[thot88]

I live for my grandparents. I don't want to hurt them. I want to die because of neurological problems. And I want to eternal oblivion

 

[never]

I live because of the fact so many people love me and care about me. I want to die because I'm fucking useless. I've been living through the lens of just floating through life and never trying to do anything. I know that I'll fail most likely. Never the fastest, strongest or smartest. I was always the person who did nothing right. Talked to because someone had to. Went out with someone because I was not even second choice. Hell, the second option is better than me. I'm the person that no one ever thinks about unless I tell them. I'm the person that fucks up simple things and somehow makes everything worse by trying to fix it. That, in a nutshell, is why I want to die

 

[uncat_]

i live for a slight hope that ill get my shit together and become perfect overnight.
i live for my loved ones that will be crushed when im gone
i live because dying is hard.

i want to die because ive known ive had to for a very long time.

 

[AledHangingOut]

i live for my girlfriend, music and the next madoka magica film. i want to die because my girlfriend will die one day, ive had to endure nonstop hate from each and every single one of my peers, and also i really cant see a future. as it is the world wont last another century

my gf broke up with me erm

 

[drella]

im still alive because of superstition(don't want to be reborn as a taurus lol). i guess why i want to die is a culmination of a lot of different factors that going forward impossible really

 

[Alltheywanted]

I live because I love my self and it would be a waste if I died lol
I want to die because I don't feel like living, and I'm lonely but that can be fixed
Simple as that