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Thanatos

Outsider
Mar 23, 2018
357
I have made peace with the fact that my exit is quickly approaching the one month mark. I have had suicidal ideation my whole life and became actively suicidal in high school. I logically know that it shouldn't matter what people think of me so much but I can't help it. Maybe I just want some kind of ego boost before I die? Anyone else feel similiar or have an answer for me?
Sorry if that was confusing at all, started lithium a few weeks ago and cant think well.
 
S

Santiago

Mage
Mar 25, 2018
588
It's completely normal that you care about what others think. Every single human has that to an extent.

There are just a lot of people who feel the need to act tough and act like they don't care at all. Even that is a way for them to influence what others think of them.
 
T

Thanatos

Outsider
Mar 23, 2018
357
I agree that it's normal to some extent, I just feel like I take it to an extreme with most people. I'd guess because of low self esteem and anxiety, I want to feel like I belong no matter how much that just brings me disappointment
 
Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
I think every one in some way shape or form wishes to belong and be relevant in their lifes, even for a matter of moments, its whether we get that chance or not that makes the difference. To feel needed and wanted, to feel something and in return to feel something back.
To care what others think is a normal part of this , nothing to feel bad about thats for sure
 
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262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,733
Unfortunately, the realization that old habits do not serve you anymore doesn't updates them automatically to your liking. I too struggle with harmful conditioning, like placing the opinions of other people in higher priority over my own, sacrificing my own power for the power of others. I think its a good sign that we realize some undesirable qualities in ourselves and what to DO something about it.



I like how she talks about thinking, names and describes things, and patterns, without pushing personal beliefs too much... I don't know how to describe things precisely, sorry. I think, in that channel she gives a perspective on possible pitfalls of our cognitive mechanics that are worth mentioning. And the way she talks... music to my ears.
 
Orin

Orin

Experienced
Apr 16, 2019
253
There are just a lot of people who feel the need to act tough and act like they don't care at all. Even that is a way for them to influence what others think of them.

Never thought of it that way, lol. The irony.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,628
I'd say it is part of human nature. We humans are social creatures by default design. We crave attention and approval from other beings like us and if we don't get that approval, we desperate seek it out. Also, another part of it is due to the survival instinct, your mind telling you that you want something even though you consciously shrug it off as insignificant and/or actively tell yourself not to care.
 
Tragoedia Vitae

Tragoedia Vitae

Experienced
Oct 14, 2018
230
I know what you mean...if other people couldn't give less of a damn about my feelings and thoughts, then why should I care about what they think? I'm just an insect to them, therefore they should be insects to me. And yet here I am. I really despise my hypersensitivity, my weakness--it has given me nothing but trouble and misery.

I feel like I have to become emotionally numb and mentally dull for my own sake, otherwise I would be compelled to kill myself. But is a blunted existence really worth living? I can't be certain.
 

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