Discussion Who in real life knows you want to CTB? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

Just curious- how many people in real life have you told/know about your ideation? If you intend to do it, just how close do they realise you are to it?

None of my family know. Some friends know I have been suicidal in the past. (I have been since childhood.) One knows I'm very low at the moment. None know how close I am to doing it. (When I feel like I can- when my Dad goes.) How about you?

 

[lionetta12]

Just curious- how many people in real life have you told/know about your ideation? If you intend to do it, just how close do they realise you are to it?

None of my family know. Some friends know I have been suicidal in the past. (I have been since childhood.) One knows I'm very low at the moment. None know how close I am to doing it. (When I feel like I can- when my Dad goes.) How about you?

Absolutely all my friends and relatives knows.

 

[arcadia]

i told my mother out of desperation but she doesn't really believe in this stuff. so just a school counsellor last year i guess

 

[Darkover]

i've told my mum and dad, my dad said thats my choice, my mum doesn't agree with my decision, they both know it could be at any time has they know am set on leaving life behind, i would leave right now if i had what i needed to ctb

 

[luochasdebilas]

i can't tell anyone. they wouldn't know how to behave around me.

 

[dw33ter]

My only friend knows my intention and my semi-concrete plans, even if she doesn't agree, she knows it's my decision. If I tell anyone else I expect they'd have a fit.

 

[Comfydant]

i promised my mom that if i ever got to the point where i was contemplating ctb, i would tell her, but when i made that promise, i was already suicidal and had no intention of ever opening up to her about it, partly because i didn't think i'd ever actually attempt and partly because i was afraid she might treat me differently or even send me to a psych ward if i did say something.

 

[pyamu]

i told my mother out of desperation but she doesn't really believe in this stuff. so just a school counsellor last year i guess

Did they commit you?

 

[vultureilse]

never told anyone, im too scared of being thrown into a psych ward again and increasing the risk of getting stopped or saved when i try to ctb. everyone around me knows that ive had mental issues since i was a kid so i think it wont be too surprising when i do it though

 

[arcadia]

Did they commit you?

no, they just referred me to camhs but i didnt hear back from them

 

[zaros]

basically everyone knows that im mentally ill but none of them know the real depths of it, i joke about ctb with some of my friends but i dont think they believe for real that i would or have a plan put together

 

[outrider567]

Nobody knows

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Well, my situation is the polar opposite of yours in that my father knows of my feelings and knows I have qualms about leaving him.

My mother for her part said the other day that she'd be relieved if I finally CTBed because she'd no longer have to deal with me or my problems again.

 

[whywere]

No one, but I do not know anyone, except at work, but in private life I have nobody, so that makes it easy.

Walter

 

[Regen]

I can't answer that so clearly. Nobody in the family knows. But I told a friend of mine that with depression you think about it sometimes. But I said it very loosely and relaxed and formulated it very vaguely and remotely. Definitely she doesn't know how close I was myself sometimes and also how heavy and how often the subject burdens me. I find it very difficult to talk about it. Even my psychologists avoid the theme. And my psychiatrist never asked me. It would be easier if they directly ask me.

 

[UKscotty]

No one as far as I know, I don't want to burden them with thinking 'what if' or 'should have' etc.

In my view, no one needs to know.

 

[Huntfish34]

I've mentioned it to a few of my friends/ co-workers in the past, but more so in a joking/ half hearted sense. I have to be careful, would hate to be sectioned/ have my guns taken away.

 

[SeeminglyFine]

My friend knows, my parents know that my mind is a mese but i only go as far as responding to a topic they bring up by saying something like: whats the point, this life is shit anyway, i dont care what happens to me, they seem to deny the situation though and try to make a causual conversation out of it, and tell me what i must and must not do, they dont know how to handle it, i never actually straight up admitted to daydreaming about ctb to them though
But I count them as knowing about it, the clues i give out and my behavior/lifestyle dont make it too hard to tell unless you're in denial,
like seriously idk if im more likely to die by slipping on one of the 20 beer bottles on my room floor or of alcoholism

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Only 1 family member and 1 friend knows I have gender dysphoria. However, only the family member knows I want to CTB. It will be quite the shock to everyone once I commit suicide.

 

[FuneralCry]

I would never tell anyone that I wish to ctb, doing such a thing could never be beneficial as after all we exist in a society that stigmatises suicide so much and there is a lack of acceptance towards the right to die.

 

[Source Energy]

My mom and one close friend. Religious both of them. First appalled when I told them. A lot of explaining in details of my agony, my unfulfilled desires and my every day pain got them to finally get it. Nowadays they have accepted with sadness, and respect my choice when the time comes.

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

I think I've only talked about it with my therapist. Don't see a reason to mention it to anyone else, really—I have no concrete, short-term plans to do it, so no need to cause people to worry about it, and whenever I do decide to do it, I don't want people trying to get in the way.

 

[narval]

My sister knows i'm not ok and i've suicidal tendencies. She is the only one who knows how bad i am.

Also i told to a friend time ago that about this. I don't know what's his opinion about this nowadays

 

[ryo the frog]

my sibling's the only person that knows

 

[Jisatsu_55265181910]

Nobody.

What's the point in telling anyone? I don't want to seem desperate for attention, I don't want to burden anyone with the worrisome of my well-being.

I'm sure if I did tell anyone, they wouldn't care, or they would think that I am joking. The only thing I receive is anger when I talk about my problems and emotions, or complaining, or how they don't want to hear it right now.
To simply put it; people are too self-invested in themselves to ever even care to listen or hear me out.
I don't bother with trying to be listened to anymore.

Nobody cares.

 

[5417807]

Absolutely everyone I know knows. They still let me be alone for a day or so at a time. My partner told me the other day that they were talking to their family about how they think I'm going to CTB soon. My parents know and I'm heavily entangled in the mental health system. That's everyone I interact with

 

[Sapphire]

A couple of relatives in my immediate family know.

 

[tiredangelgirl]

Pretty much everyone in my life knows I feel like they're all either waiting for it to happen or doubt me. It'll be such a huge relief once I finally do. I talk about it with my therapist but I tell her I don't have the means to ACTUALLY do it so there's no worry. I told her my bfs guns are locked up, it's not worth the risk of jumping off a bridge or laying in the street. I basically just tell her i'm too scared to actually do anything but truthfully I just need to find a reliable sn source

 

[tessa__mocha]

I've never told anyone about my sh habits or ideations, I feel like if anyone knows/is looking out for it I'll never be able to do it, or it'll at least make it a lot harder. My gf sees some news scars pop up sometimes but that's the closest anyone's ever gotten to knowing what's going on with me. I have a therapist that I see regularly but we don't get anywhere close to that and mainly work on ED stuff.

 

[onceuponadec]

I told 2 of my sisters. One was mad, the other understood as she felt similarly a few years ago.