Who else lost all their friends because of depression?

[JustHeckinKillMe]

No one checks on me. I always find myself alone when I'm depressed. Is something wrong with me? Am I a bad friend to not have anyone when I'm going through a rough time when I offer help and company when my friends have issues?

 

[Mentalmick]

No, you're not a bad friend. Depression is a very lonely disease and I would say most sufferer's are prone to isolate when it's bad. I think it's a natural reaction to try and block out the world and everyone in it when feeling low.

 

[timf]

We live in a very "self" oriented society. Most people will avoid those who have problems. It is a rare exception to find someone whose "friendship" includes sticking with you in difficult times. The phrase "fair weather friend" was more common when it described something unusual. Now that it is the norm, one doesn't hear it that often.

There are people who are drawn to occupations that require expressing concern for others such as day care workers, nursing home workers, and even some Christians who actually live like they are supposed to who show loving concern for others. However, these people are rare.

Even family members today can make themselves distant to avoid dealing with those who are seen as "needy". If you do run into someone who shows selfless concern for others, you might consider doing whatever you can to hold on to the relationship as they are very rare.

 

[Makko]

My observation is that depression turns the sufferer into a social mire of sorts. Other people have a choice between getting away or risk drowning themselves. You need to be a special sort to choose the latter.

 

[Shero]

I didn't "lose" them, i distanced myself from them consciously.
It's better for me, because I don't have the energy, and for them, not to have to deal with it.

 

[LittleJem]

You are not a bad friend or a bad person - you sound like a great person, as you say you are there for your friends when they have issues.

Some people take but don't give - and maybe your friends are in that category.

It definitely affects friendships and when you are ill you find out who is there for you and who isn't. I kind of understand the people who disappeared, and I also don't want to speak to them again. My friends: one dropped me for being 'too ill' - she was my oldest friend. I have one friend who checked in on me regularly and beautifully - she is a kind person, and she has also suffered herself once in her life from depression so she understands. I had other friends who maybe contacted me once in a year and then didn't contact me again.

Nowadays, I am finding some friends who also suffer wtih mental illness, as they understand more. And also probably relocating and starting my life again - mainly as I can't afford to stay where I am.

I hope you feel better and I also hope you find people who are there for you.

 

[pole]

We live in a very "self" oriented society. Most people will avoid those who have problems. It is a rare exception to find someone whose "friendship" includes sticking with you in difficult times. The phrase "fair weather friend" was more common when it described something unusual. Now that it is the norm, one doesn't hear it that often.

There are people who are drawn to occupations that require expressing concern for others such as day care workers, nursing home workers, and even some Christians who actually live like they are supposed to who show loving concern for others. However, these people are rare.

Even family members today can make themselves distant to avoid dealing with those who are seen as "needy". If you do run into someone who shows selfless concern for others, you might consider doing whatever you can to hold on to the relationship as they are very rare.

this.

i don't think people truly understand or cherish those types of people until there truly gone. not everyone has the same heart as you, and you never truly realize how much it means to have someone there for you until there gone.

you aren't a bad friend at all OP. its extremely difficult to find selfless people to be there for you and not their own personal gain or satisfaction. even when your there for someone, not everyone has the same heart as you or cares enough to reciprocate that level of care for you. its better to offer help with no expectations than to expect help and care in return.

i do hope you form support systems and people that offer to be there for you. unfortunately, many don't understand how much just checking in or even asking about how a person is means to someone. it goes a long way. and i hope you form friendships and find people that will be there for you.

 

[Sherri]

I did, thought I had so many, but only have 3 or 4 now who cares. Guess they had enough of me always saying I felt down. That's when you see who sticks around Unfortunately. You're not alone here. Hugs

 

[NoTime]

We live in a very "self" oriented society. Most people will avoid those who have problems. It is a rare exception to find someone whose "friendship" includes sticking with you in difficult times. The phrase "fair weather friend" was more common when it described something unusual. Now that it is the norm, one doesn't hear it that often.

There are people who are drawn to occupations that require expressing concern for others such as day care workers, nursing home workers, and even some Christians who actually live like they are supposed to who show loving concern for others. However, these people are rare.

Even family members today can make themselves distant to avoid dealing with those who are seen as "needy". If you do run into someone who shows selfless concern for others, you might consider doing whatever you can to hold on to the relationship as they are very rare.

Most people choose to push help away

stop the we live in a society sht.

world doest revovle around you, we are alone with our thoughts and we have to take them up on our own

 

[Isisnefert]

No eres un mal amigo ni una mala persona; suenas como una gran persona, ya que dices que estás ahí para tus amigos cuando tienen problemas.

Algunas personas toman pero no dan, y quizás tus amigos estén en esa categoría.

Definitivamente afecta las amistades y cuando estás enfermo averiguas quién está ahí para ti y quién no. Entiendo de alguna manera a las personas que desaparecieron, y tampoco quiero volver a hablar con ellas. Amigos míos: uno me dejó por estar "demasiado enfermo", era mi amiga más antigua. Tengo una amiga que me atendió con regularidad y de manera hermosa: es una persona amable y también una vez en su vida sufrió de depresión, así que lo entiende. Tenía otros amigos que tal vez me contactaban una vez al año y luego no volvían a contactarme.

Hoy en día me encuentro con algunos amigos que también padecen enfermedad mental, ya que entienden más. Y también probablemente mudarme y comenzar mi vida de nuevo, principalmente porque no puedo permitirme quedarme donde estoy.

Espero que se sienta mejor y también espero que encuentre personas que estén ahí para usted.

Qué buena suerte has tenido, yo cada vez que menciono la palabra depresión, recaída.. Huyen de mí y todo esto sin mencionar ctb, lo peor es cuando te decepciona alguien a quien consideras diferente y entonces huye como todos los demás, ¿realmente alguien vale la pena?

 

[MrAsclepius]

I didn't "lose" them, i distanced myself from them consciously.
It's better for me, because I don't have the energy, and for them, not to have to deal with it.

aswell, People drag you down. Sometime I miss having people, but when I think of them, the disordered brain says they are evil. Weird isnt it?

 

[Cronetappingout]

Yes. Lost everyone in the last year. So done with all of this.

 

[stygal]

Have those people been you're true friends then?

I can only speak for me but lately ever since I "lost" my old "friends" and basically went from knowing lots of people to 0 (okay, three acquaintances left)...
I noticed I've never had the chance to be my true self around anybody because of my fear of scaring them/pushing them away. So I rather bottled up all my pain and when it broke out I tried to explain myself (and why I distance myself sometimes) and but wasn't really getting any responses back.

It's been partly my fault though:
I should have found friends who I trusted showing my true self from the beginning and probably also had some experiences with mental health/struggles with depression themselves.

 

[Antigonish]

Dont know if I lost them or left them. I think I might've left them. I miss the forgotten sometimes. But I gotta keep moving forward till I die. That's life right? Wish i could stay forever. But I know my time is limited and I cant afford to waste it. Eventhough I do sometimes. I wish I could not leave, but I always do. It's my unfortunate curse. The very reason I dont get close to people. Eventually they'll end up hurt. And that very thing brings me satisfaction. Because I constantly hurt over trivial things.

 

[sadworld]

My friends left me a long time ago and my depression made it hard to gain any new friends. Sometimes we leave them without wanting to and sometimes they leave us. Depression really is a lonely disease which makes it harder to cope with those thougts.

 

[Sherri]

My friends left me a long time ago and my depression made it hard to gain any new friends. Sometimes we leave them without wanting to and sometimes they leave us. Depression really is a lonely disease which makes it harder to cope with those thougts.

Well here you have lots of people who admire you, prob. not a good idea to only have virtual friends, better there is someone real typing these words.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

If you're someone who always offers help to others, then I doubt you're a bad friend. I'm sorry you're feeling so down and lonely.

I don't really blame anyone, not even myself anymore when it comes to this. I'm the one who isolated myself. I'm the one who ghosts people when I'm either too anxious or depressed to even read texts or messages. I'm the one who probably gave others the impression that I didn't want to be around them or cared about them. I'm the unreliable, flaky friend. Not because I choose to be, but because I can't seem to control how my anxiety and depression affects me. My brain just goes into avoidant mode and I isolate. It's not entirely my fault, and it certainly isn't theirs either. It's just life. I try my best to be there for anyone when I can, but it's really hard sometimes when reading messages and answering my phone can induce panic attacks.

This is just me though, I know other people's circumstances are different and sometimes they really do just have crap "friends". It sounds like this may be your situation, for which I'm truly sorry.

However, and this is NOT directed at the OP, but other people who may be reading this. I also know what it's like to be on the receiving end of a friendship that is all about that person and their problems. They rarely even think to ask you how you're doing or seem at all interested about your life. Even some of the best people can be worn down by people like this and if you finally have to cut ties for the sake of your own mental health (which I've had to do before), their perception is that you're a shitty friend who abandoned them in their time of need. Nevermind that you felt like you were only being used as a free therapist and that they never gave a shit about you anyway (making you feel like shit yourself), and at least in my situation where this happened, I was genuinely the one going through way more. Of course, they didn't know that because they never asked. If I tried talking about it, they didn't seem interested and would direct the conversation back on them.. repeating the same things over and over. It is truly exhausting after a while and I held up for quite a long time. So because of this experience, whenever I hear or read about this kind of thing, it always makes me wonder if maybe some of these people are the like the kind of friend I described and if they are, I don't automatically assume their friends were bad friends.. but that maybe they weren't the greatest friend either and these people probably just couldn't take it anymore.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I wish. It would make CTB easier.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I lost most of my friends a while ago. Whoever was left, I lose them one-by-one as they get tired of dealing with my sad ass all the time. Depression is a lonely disease.