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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
18,772
I actually don't know lol. I think that I was sexually attracted to my crush, but I didn't seize my chance to hook up with him. I didn't realize it. Sadly he has a gf now
Link up with the girlfriend and see if you can talk them into a threesome. 🤪

No but I can understand not wanting to do it except with the only one who felt like the right person. I've gone through this process multiple times and it hurts more and more to move on, which is kind of the only real advice there is out there even though it can be terrible to find someone else. Maybe you can find where there are other people out there who at least look like him and start there.
 
sserafim

sserafim

머리 아프다
Sep 13, 2023
6,952
Yeah I d go to a bar, too. You don't even need to talk much you know. And if it is a little bit dark and people have had some alcohol..... that should be no problem. It is good you care about your safety and privacy, though.

Thought so. I find Asian ppl in general attractive. One more reason it shouldn't be a problem to find anybody.
Lol my crush wanted to go to a bar with me, but I said no. Haha how so?
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
3,382
Thats_Suspicious.gif
 
dragonofenvy

dragonofenvy

Mage
Oct 8, 2023
516
Rather than doing it with some random which I don't need to explain the reasons for being dangerous, maybe you could if possible do it with someone you're friends with or become friends with in the future? Idk it just seems to me that going out with some random stranger is super risky. I wouldn't do it myself whether I was going out with a man or woman because you never truly know someone's intentions. I'd want to do it with someone I know because at the very least there's some trust with them. Especially because you mentioned that you value your privacy idk if a stranger would given they have no reason to be trustworthy.
 
Final_Choice

Final_Choice

Mage
Aug 3, 2023
511
Probably shouldn't do it with someone you don't trust and end up in an even worse situation, maybe even in a situation where you couldn't even die even if you wanted to at that moment more than anything else. Find people you trust, befriend them, and get closer to them. Then see if they're down to do it with you.
 
sserafim

sserafim

머리 아프다
Sep 13, 2023
6,952
Probably shouldn't do it with someone you don't trust and end up in an even worse situation, maybe even in a situation where you couldn't even die even if you wanted to at that moment more than anything else. Find people you trust, befriend them, and get closer to them. Then see if they're down to do it with you.
I don't know where to meet guys lol. I only know guys from high school…
 
leavingthesoultrap

leavingthesoultrap

(ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
Nov 25, 2023
983
It's always easy to find someone as a young woman. The issue is the quality so to speak lol
 
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dragonofenvy

dragonofenvy

Mage
Oct 8, 2023
516
I don't know where to meet guys lol. I only know guys from high school…
I have the same problem as you and I'm bisexual, so you'd think it'd be a little easier for me but it's surprisingly difficult. I do know a woman who got 2 separate boyfriends off of discord and I'm under the impression that meeting people online is the only way our generation goes about it. If you're wondering she kinda just was in a discord group and got asked out so I guess it's that "easy." Whether they were good boyfriends who's to say but considering she's with one of them now and moving to their state I'd say it seems to have worked out for her. Idk I'm old-fashioned for wanting in-person stuff since, again, trust factor. I guess discord into irl friendship into whatever you want to make it is an option? I think meetup.com (a site where people host public social gatherings) could have options but I'm personally way too shy and anxious to try that, and it's probably inappropriate for someone to go in desiring a partner rather than to just have fun and make friends, but maybe it's different if you're a woman I just feel like as a man doing it it's something I would think is a bit weird but that's just what I think the impression would be if I did it.

Otherwise, I guess a job would be a way though that has its own drama and also jobs suck. You'd want something whether a job or event or club where you frequently can meet someone and can have proximity to them. That's what my therapist always told me anyway. How you go finding something like that I have no idea.
 
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LevUwU

LevUwU

I hate my life and the government
Mar 16, 2024
152
of course you can always dress up in your sexiest outfit and stand in a parking lot. but the hazards there are you may get bitch slapped by another trying to make a living

but in all seriousness, sex may be on your bucket list but it won't be the same unless you have emotional feelings for the other
Ah yes, I'm sure that's the biggest hazard of doing that.
 
Final_Choice

Final_Choice

Mage
Aug 3, 2023
511
I don't know where to meet guys lol. I only know guys from high school…
That part is pretty tricky considering you're at the point in life that there aren't as many places to meet others compared to school and being young in general. The next part in life where people meet others is usually in the workplace or through hobbies, maybe you could meet others through any hobbies you have or would like to try? If you don't want to use dating apps then maybe physical areas that you could meet others (like bars, cafe, etc), you could also try checking online to see if there are any events going on in your area or near your area and meet people there, another way is by getting to know people online and slowly transitioning to real life, though this has its own set of pros and cons.
 
Untimely

Untimely

Student
Apr 21, 2023
130
I get what you mean but it's really not all that unless it's with someone who you care about in my experience. So I wouldn't rush it, but I know plenty of people who enjoy the short hookups so I guess it's just personal preference.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

머리 아프다
Sep 13, 2023
6,952
just take care of yourself and use protection do you plan to have a friend for that or have casual encounters?
I'd prefer a friend for that but I don't know any guys irl lol. My crush lives halfway around the world…
 
K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
451
It's on my bucket list before I die. I don't know or talk to any guys irl (I used to talk to my crush (from high school) but he ghosted me 😭), and I don't have experience with the opposite sex or even relationships at all. I went to a women's college lol.
I have a similar problem. I do have sexual experience but I kind of want to have sex again before I die. I'm male though.

In your case it shouldn't be that hard. If you're an attractive, young woman men will be lining up.
 
sserafim

sserafim

머리 아프다
Sep 13, 2023
6,952
I have a similar problem. I do have sexual experience but I kind of want to have sex again before I die. I'm male though.

In your case it shouldn't be that hard. If you're an attractive, young woman men will be lining up.
I don't go outside lol. I'm a hiki who stays at home all day. I'm scared of the real world and other people
how long has it been?
Wdym? Since I hung out with my crush? A year and a half I think
 
K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
451
I don't go outside lol. I'm a hiki who stays at home all day. I'm scared of the real world and other people

Wdym? Since I hung out with my crush? A year and a half I think
Same. You don't need to though. As an attractive woman you can always find someone to have sex with. Just look online. Dating sites are the obvious choice but since you don't want those, I guess social media like Reddit. Undoubtably you can find someone pretty easily if that's what you really want.

Hell, I'd have been up for it if I knew you lived in my country, I was less conflicted about casual sex and I didn't struggle so much with the idea of letting people die already. (I already recognise your name which is bad enough. If I met you IRL I could never be comfortable with you ending it.)
 
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dragonofenvy

dragonofenvy

Mage
Oct 8, 2023
516
I don't go outside lol. I'm a hiki who stays at home all day. I'm scared of the real world and other people
Well, you're not going to get anywhere in this if that continues. They're not going to randomly appear in front of you in nice Amazon packaging. Lots of people have been saying that "it shouldn't be hard" but I don't think they can fully understand it, you, or your situation. There are obviously barriers to overcome otherwise you'd have gotten what you wanted, no? Also I see this thread got a lot of attention. RIP your PMs lol.

But if you don't want to go outside, you're only choice then is to use the internet which of course has a whole host of problems with it. You're not going to be able to find the perfect solution to this problem. You're going to have to either choose what you think is best to do or do nothing at all.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

머리 아프다
Sep 13, 2023
6,952
Same. You don't need to though. As an attractive woman you can always find someone to have sex with. Just look online. Dating sites are the obvious choice but since you don't want those, I guess social media like Reddit. Undoubtably you can find someone pretty easily if that's what you really want.

Hell, I'd have been up for it if I knew you lived in my country, I was less conflicted about casual sex and I didn't struggle so much with the idea of letting people die already. (I already recognise your name which is bad enough. If I met you IRL I could never be comfortable with you ending it.)
That's too much work for me lol. What country do you live in btw? I'm from the US. Haha thanks for caring about me I guess?
 
K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
451
That's too much work for me lol. What country do you live in btw? I'm from the US. Haha thanks for caring about me I guess?
Lol, well not sure what else I can tell you then. No guy is going to randomly come to your house asking for sex, of course. I think your options are pretty much: Meet one IRL or meet one online.

IRL has places like bars and parties for that or just happenstance. But the latter cannot be planned and the former two require going out and a bit of effort.

And online it's mainly dating sites, social media or happenstance again. The latter cannot be planned, the other two do require some effort.

Not sure how comfortable I am sharing my country on here but I'm not in the United States. As for caring, I mean, yeah. So far I like you. Which is bad. And I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person) so I care about people easily and too much and get too emotional about things. Which is why I think about leaving this site often but it's one of the few places I can talk about my issues openly so I haven't yet.

I respect every person's right/decision to end things on an intellectual level, but in practice I find it very very hard.
 
E

escape_from_hell

Student
Feb 22, 2024
122
Is that you in the profile pic?

You say you are above average. There are probably SaSu members tugging one out just fantasizing about it already 😂.

It might not be a bad idea to just find a guy that looks very similar to your crush, or similar but upgraded You could easily do this within minutes browsing a free dating site like okcupid or swiping for one or two days on tinder/bumble. If you are above average you barely need to put any effort into your profile at all of course. That way you make up for the missed opportunity from your crush and may feel you can move forward.

You should be more worried about guys catching the feels or being obsessed afterwards than getting abused, realistically speaking. It'd be like winning the lottery for the vast majority of desperate bros out there including great looking ones. Most would probably agree to ease into it knowing you're a virgin to get you off via oral etc. first as well.

You probably know all this already though 😆 but you set up the perfect attention trap.
 
sserafim

sserafim

머리 아프다
Sep 13, 2023
6,952
Is that you in the profile pic?

You say you are above average. There are probably SaSu members tugging one out just fantasizing about it already 😂.

It might not be a bad idea to just find a guy that looks very similar to your crush, or similar but upgraded You could easily do this within minutes browsing a free dating site like okcupid or swiping for one or two days on tinder/bumble. If you are above average you barely need to put any effort into your profile at all of course. That way you make up for the missed opportunity from your crush and may feel you can move forward.

You should be more worried about guys catching the feels or being obsessed afterwards than getting abused, realistically speaking. It'd be like winning the lottery for the vast majority of desperate bros out there including great looking ones. Most would probably agree to ease into it knowing you're a virgin to get you off via oral etc. first as well.

You probably know all this already though 😆 but you set up the perfect attention trap.
It's not me lol. I look more like her. Haha what attention trap? I didn't know. I just posted here bc I don't have anywhere else to 😅
 
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