Zyntkalla

Zyntkalla

Welcome to hell on Earth
Aug 28, 2020
85
4 and 9
 
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C

Cocoon

Member
Sep 27, 2020
6
I'm usually at a 5 or 6, but lately it's been at 8 and today it's been at 9.
 
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D

Deleted member 20852

Guest
9 - I've written a note it's on my bedside table, I've downloaded the route to my destination and I've started to trying to get rid of some of my things. It's on my mind all day long. When people say to me at work ' see you next week' I wonder if they will.
When my dog dies I will go to a 10.
 
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BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

Enlightened
Aug 6, 2020
1,456
Well I guess I would be a 9.
 
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L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,533
Today am 8. The Samaritans just put the phone down on me (politely) and I've managed to sneeze on my coat which I recently had dry cleaned because I sneezed on it. My crazy fucking mother keeps trying to call me and I never want to speak to her again. I'm waking up every day telling my boyfriend I want to die. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to last another day of this. I'm going to try and last a few more months so I can split up with boyfriend and hope he won't blame himself.
 
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T

timeforketogo

New Member
Jun 30, 2020
2
9. Putting affairs in order, which is quite painful to do by myself. Looking at CTB October 16 or 17.
 
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Deathwish1968

Member
Oct 30, 2019
70
9
 
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TheQ22

Enlightened
Aug 17, 2020
1,097
9
 
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W3akCr3atur3

W3akCr3atur3

Empty and hollow
Aug 3, 2020
357
5 today
 
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HelloHell

HelloHell

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
443
9 all the time
 
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BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Somewhere between 6 and 7 I guess
So not that bad for me
(Jesus, how broken do you have to be to think a 7 is not bad)
 
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SleeplessSoul

SleeplessSoul

Student
Apr 10, 2020
131
Probably between 6 and 7? I was 8/9 a few months ago and managed to get down to a 2 for a bit.
 
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lostangel

lostangel

Enlightened
Mar 22, 2019
1,051
8
 
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W

WFJ74

Student
Aug 18, 2020
150
By that scale probably a 9.1. I've already written the notes, settled my accounts and have a CTB plan with a backup plan.
 
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B

blargh

Member
Sep 9, 2020
5
I feel the descriptions scale is so different to how I experience suicidality, suicide attempts, and life generally, that I can't use it.

Right now, probably at an 8 for proximity to carrying out something likely to result in death, but mood is a nice calm euphoria. Thoughts of suicide are not distressing me at all because I am confident that I have a solid plan and when they do bubble up they're of the "ooh yisss, gonna be escaping on dat bus soon" variety.
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
9 i guess
 
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tiredflower

Member
Sep 28, 2020
25
7
 
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BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Have you ever gotten so suicidal you actually get calm? While on my way to the bridge with 200 pills once, I striked up a conversation with a nice old lady at the bus stop and I was genuinely smiling
I feel the descriptions scale is so different to how I experience suicidality, suicide attempts, and life generally, that I can't use it.

Right now, probably at an 8 for proximity to carrying out something likely to result in death, but mood is a nice calm euphoria. Thoughts of suicide are not distressing me at all because I am confident that I have a solid plan and when they do bubble up they're of the "ooh yisss, gonna be escaping on dat bus soon" variety.
 
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B

blargh

Member
Sep 9, 2020
5
It is a common enough thing that many MH professionals are aware that sudden improvements in demeanour can be a warning sign. I don't think that has trickled down to public awareness campaigns much though.
 
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Mr. Morningstar

Mr. Morningstar

Member
Sep 27, 2020
33
Lately 9
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
10
 
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sadbadpsychogirl

sadbadpsychogirl

sonofabitch
May 29, 2020
725
9 just biding my time...
 
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D

dundyfundy

Member
Aug 4, 2019
34
8 or 9, I am spontaneous person there's nothing to prepare for me, possibly jot down the note but that would be minutes before in the process. So 8 to 10 can happen instantaneously for me, speaking of not even hours.

I don't think I visit this site when I am below 7, if I can't distract myself I get here and read both suicide and recovery sub-forums. It doesn't help, but I kind of get tired and more into the "just do it or stfu" mindset. Which solves nothing but makes it more bearable to sleep.
 
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Vannillahh

Vannillahh

Hope you have a happy life.
Sep 29, 2020
7
5-6 today, I'm just listening to music, a little drained but I am not doing the worst.
 
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