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Preh1storic_Rib

Preh1storic_Rib

How do I return this joy?
Aug 22, 2024
55
6, but I am also finalizing my plan and writing notes slowly. kinda oscillating between it and 9.
 
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Unhumanly.

Unhumanly.

Coming back to die
Feb 24, 2023
382
5, although, thinking of suicide as an escape is not like a joke to me but a genuine desire to escape my frustrations and the weight of being relied to (that would make me selfish),
 
angelalexandra

angelalexandra

girl with a caustic halo
Apr 26, 2025
15
probably around an 8 and a half today, ive got a lot of things set up and ready to go but ive sort of put finding a viable method on hold for a while now just to see how my new living situation plays out (or at the very least, im just morbidly curious to see how its going to fall apart)
 
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N

notreallybored

Specialist
Nov 26, 2024
345
ב''ה, those days where there's nothing to feel good about and yet G-d is somehow saving the actual depression for if things get even worse.. meh.
 
bgd2022

bgd2022

Member
Dec 12, 2022
19
6 to 9 depending on the last time I stubbed my toe. Seriously though baseline 6 and depending on how inconvenient or emotional the last thing to happen was will push it up to 7 to 9. On average I'd say 8. Only been a 10 a handful of times the attempts just didn't pan out.
 
RoseGirl

RoseGirl

痛い痛い痛い
May 8, 2025
233
Over the course of a week I'll typically vary from 2-8. Rn I'm abt a 3
 
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Archness

Archness

Defective Personel
Jan 20, 2023
577
Today was pretty decent, I guess I'd consider it a 4-5. I'm just really good at dissociating and becoming numb to those kinds of thoughts. Often I wish I could just drop dead on-the-spot sometimes, & feeling that I might as well ctb /w how much I'm just fucking doomed and useless is inescapable. Sometimes it's higher, but usually it's 4-5 because it's an objectively "good" NEET life I have where nothing happens and I do nothing about it until it falls apart.

Even then, the baseline is rising, slowly, steadily, imperceptibly slow even. But it only needs a trigger, first fast, then all at once.
 
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Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Enlightened
Apr 21, 2025
1,458
Ill say Im a 6, but I have paused planning kind of. I went to mental health yesterday, so im giving that a chance for now. Plus I think being able to say out loud to another human what goes on in my head helped.
 
vadim

vadim

Disqualified From Being Human
Aug 10, 2023
127
About a 7. I'm not actively suicidal but I feel like there's no way out of the mess I've made of my life besides suicide and I want to end it all. I've been self harming more recently.
 
UserFromNowhere

UserFromNowhere

Student
May 4, 2025
151
I cycle between 6 and 8. A week or two ago it got so bad that 9 was in play as I was actively writing a suicide note, but due to not having any reliable methods, it gradually subsided.
 
chainsofjudecca

chainsofjudecca

Scribe
Sep 5, 2021
26
9. I know exactly what method I'm going to use but I'm just waiting for the right time. Definitely some time this year, before its over.

I've seen a shift in myself. When I first joined in 2021 I believe I was actually at a 6. I had talked about CTB and my suffering but not *really* thought about it. Now death is on my mind 24/7. I go to work, go home, sleep a dreamless sleep and repeat. But its all just mechanical memory, like an insect. There is nothing I enjoy anymore, even simple pleasures. Nothing there. I am a husk.
 
T

teaganlmao

New Member
Apr 7, 2023
4
Ranges from 6 to 8. But everytime it gets more intense.
 
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Ijustcantanymore

Ijustcantanymore

Experienced
Nov 22, 2024
237
6 is my baseline. But I often also find myself reaching 8 a lot of the time.
 
drella

drella

you were never there you wont ever be
Apr 26, 2023
22
4 by day then 8/9 by night
 
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CerebralVortex

CerebralVortex

Member
Apr 26, 2025
18
Probably about a 9.5?
 
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darkandtwisty

darkandtwisty

Student
Jul 10, 2024
133
Hey everyone. I haven't been on since September of 2024. I thought I was getting better, but it turns out I'm not.
I am sitting at a 9. There's a lot of shit going on and I'm in the middle. I truly feel if I take myself out of the equation, those closest to me will be better off and I'll finally be free.
 
astonishedturnip

astonishedturnip

Like Christine Chubbuck, but sadder
Jan 16, 2024
266
4, but 8 at the slightest fucking push. Ugh.
 
SuicideKurt

SuicideKurt

A grain of life in the nonexistence
May 19, 2025
54
Solid 9. Just a few days...
 
ashendreams

ashendreams

rotting angel
May 31, 2025
70
8.5 i guess. but been at a 9 for the last week so i guess its an improvement. dont think ive ever been below a 5 at any point
 

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