What's your biggest fu## up in life?

[Ashu]

Hard to decide between going to university and getting married, but the first led to the second, so I guess the first.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

Getting hooked up with a narcissist. Having depression and BPD and dealing with the turbulance that a narc creates is killing me. Yeah I could leave BUT I cant survive on my own physically (crohns disease and joint issues) I cant care of a home by myself. This guy is a handyman so he knows everything about fixing stuff. I do love him and want it to work, but talking to him is impossible. Stonewalls me or gets angry when I try and reason with him. So I stay and allow him to abuse me mentally, break me to tears, treat me like nothing. I damned if I do, damned if I dont. I have my SN, now just need the courage to exit. Thank God I DO live in my own home though.

 

[Getmeouttaherenow]

Even though it's not a singular "f*ck up moment', I think just not having the confidence to raise my hand, ask questions, stick up for myself and not give into anxiety and insecurity would've made a big impact on how I grew up. Perhaps then I would've been more passionate, more cultured, and less ashamed. I grew up with no real hobbies, dreams, ambitions or anything. Since age 13, 17 years, I've just been consumed by dark thoughts, depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. It's just the way I'm conditioned at this point.

Damn this is me

 

[Sadboyspecimen]

Felt the need to rebel against anything and everything, but usually it was just everyday mundane things like taking a shower, or brushing my teeth. I felt cool at the time though I guess. Grew my hair out and let them tangle into dreadlocks (I'm white and grew up in a small rural town) started playing guitar and dumped a bunch of money into recording equipment. I thought I was really good, but I didn't (and still don't) know shit about music. Oh and I was pretty much stoned everyday from the time I was 16-20. Then fell into a heavy drinking habit for the next 3 years after that when smoking pot wasn't cool anymore. Basically to sum it up here, the most wild thing I ever did in my life was drop acid, and for some reason I felt super proud of it and so nowadays people that know me just know me as some numbskull loser that thinks using drugs and having dreadlocks makes him important for some reason. All of that lead to a lot of people giving me crap on a daily basis once I actually came back to earth and I couldn't even respond besides crying and eventually threatening to shoot someone who was a close friend bc I was so mad. So yeah. I guess that brings me to a grand total of psycho loser dumbass delusional piece of shit.

 

[Bigsmoke777]

Living in terror since childhood. Spending beyond my means. Avoiding harsh financial realities. But I was unaware or was a victim of my own mental and psychological limitations. I blame myself entirely and not at all.

I relate to this and I think a lot of others on this site might as well. Living in terror our entire lives. Being able to blame myself entirely and not at all because of the limitations you mention. Pro lifers dont seem to understand. It's not really even a choice for me. I can choose to keep existing miserably I guess...

I feel this way as well. But I don't know how things could have been different.

Agreed

 

[Hollowman]

never being brave or confident in myself. i never asked out people who i knew liked me because i was too scared of the tiny chance they would say no, so the relationship always died because there was weird tension. got stuck in an abusive relationship with a girl i didn't even really like because she asked me out and i wasn't brave enough to reject her, so i just went along with it. have almost no friends because i'm too terrified to talk to people. no skills because i was too scared to fail. never taking any risks ever with anything that could actually improve my life. don't get me wrong, i've been a teenage delinquent and made bad choices in drugs and shit, but the second it involves actually bettering myself in anyway or being happy, i get terrified and nope out. i'm genuinely trying not to do that shit now, but it's so hard because i'm a straight up fucking coward.

Didn't mean to hit like, clumsy thumb.

 

[Vizzy]

Failing multiple suicide attempts resulting in still being alive.... or being born

Can you tell what are your methods and why it failed?

 

[psp3000]

letting fear and people who want to live through me and are jealous of my capabilities influence important life decisions