Discussion Would a million dollar make you not want to CBT?

[whorror]

It would make my life so much easier.

I've been unemployed for over three years because my mental health makes me unable to keep even the tiniest job, and I rely completely on money from my friends and family. I also hate the capitalist idea that a career is what matters most. I DON'T CARE ABOUT A CAREER. It makes me so depressed. I want to be happy, travel, and love people.

But there are days when I don't have anything to eat, or I eat cat food because it's cheaper. If it weren't for my friends and family, I would be homeless.

Would a million dollars make you not want to CBT?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

with a million dollars i could buy the supplies and set up to make my suicide much more reliable. and that's what i would do .

i also wouldn't have to try to work a job . so i can work on getting my suicide method ready and defeat my si and kill myself.

i would never want to live in this hell another minute . the only thing holding me up from killing myself is i want a more reliable suicide method and fear failing it and remaining alive after an attempt with more damage

i don't care if it's a billion in a lottery i still would want to suicide . a billion just more money to make it even more reliable

for example . i could buy a cabin far away from humans. then lock myself in a room . take sn and i also have other automated methods to make sure i die . but i haven't implemented them cause i live close to humans and this backup method would be detectable by humans which would send me to their ER,. i can't go to the ER cause of physical reasons but they'll send me there.

just few reasons out of a book of reasons . i could get a brain stroke next second. today i could get kidnapped tortured or in a car accident left in pain for years, chronic painful diseases, etc.

 

[whorror]

with a million dollars i could buy the supplies and set up to make my suicide much more reliable. and that's what i would do .

i also wouldn't have to try to work a job . so i can work on getting my suicide method ready and defeat my si and kill myself.

i would never want to live in this hell another minute . the only thing holding me up from killing myself is i want a more reliable suicide method and fear failing it and remaining alive after an attempt with more damage

i don't care if it's a billion in a lottery i still would want to suicide . a billion just more money to make it even more reliable

for example . i could buy a cabin far away from humans. then lock myself in a room . take sn and i also have other automated methods to make sure i die . but i haven't implemented them cause i live close to humans and this backup method would be detectable by humans which would send me to their ER,

just few reasons out of a book of reasons . i could get a brain stroke next second. today i could get kidnapped tortured or in a car accident left in pain for years, chronic painful diseases, etc.

You could probably get N more easily if you have a milion dollars, no concern about the price or location where it should be accesible. That would be a dream..

 

[Siegfrida]

Yes, because I would have the resources to at least have a chance to deal with my issues.

 

[RinneOfAragon]

I'd still want to ctb because too much damage has happened.

 

[justgarbage]

Yes, most of my problems are financial at the root

 

[whorror]

Yes, most of my problems are financial at the root

Same, mate. I do have other issues, being diagnosed with 6 different mental health issues takes a toll on somebody, but damn, having more money could give me a break from all this shit that is my life. I've been on survival mode for far too long, I'm so tired.

 

[lostinthecha0s]

Yes, most of my problems are financial at the root

I feel this. If I had finical stability to do whatever I wanted I would like to think I'd feel better. However I worry that my brain would just find a new anxiety to latch onto till it drove myself to those thoughts again

 

[imagonner]

i think it would. i could get my own place, i would not have to work, and i would concentrate on rescuing dogs and finding them loving homes. unless my brain decided to find something else to fret over...

money doesnt buy you happiness, but id rather be rich and miserable, than poor and miserable...

 

[Pluto]

 

[maggineko]

A milly would help me out a loottttt but I don't know if it'll make me completely want to not ctb. My reasons for wanting to ctb are somewhat abstract, maybe just a mental thing that gets worse with every trigger then slowly resurfaces to bearable levels like the ocean tide.

If a million bucks could improve my life quality, then maybe recovery would be a lot easier for me, but that much money also gives me access to other methods of ctb. Money can buy happiness, I believe it, but can't buy long-term contentment and self-esteem, especially if I'm already biologically/neurologically impacted enough that I'm gunna be like this forever.

Also, if the million gets taxed, I'll be so sad lol. Tax Musk, not me!

 

[SilentVelvet]

No, but I could probably bribe someone in Switzerland to get legal assisted dying

 

[lastspaghetti]

Yes. With a million dollars not being able to work wouldn't be an issue, and I could go see whales and get the best healthcare. Also I bet I wouldn't have to handle so much things I have no capacity to handle.
I prefer to eat rice and beans every day so I assume I could make it last pretty long

 

[FuneralCry]

No, nothing no matter what would make me wish for the terrible, torturous burden of existing that I just always saw as a mistake in the first place, all I could ever see as positive is non-existence, it's just so horrible to me how one can be burdened with this existence for decades longer just to face the terrible extreme agony of old age.

I'll always see existence as the problem where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured, all that existence ever does is just torture existing beings and I'll always find it so deeply undesirable to exist in every way, I'd just never wish to be conscious of anything at all no matter what, I just want to erase this existence so it's like I never suffered at all, no matter what this existence should never be imposed.

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

All it would do is give me more money to suicide by giving me more options....think going overseas for nembutal or for a VAD in Switzerland etc.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

Lol theres no amount of money that can make me not want to CTB i would donate it to a charity i care deeply about

 

[whatever000]

Yes. With a million dollars not being able to work wouldn't be an issue, and I could go see whales and get the best healthcare. Also I bet I wouldn't have to handle so much things I have no capacity to handle.
I prefer to eat rice and beans every day so I assume I could make it last pretty long

it all depends why people want to die.
For me, I have a hard time functioning. I have learned great coping mechanisms where I'm ok living and actually love and appreciate my existence most days BUT, needing to function thru depression, needing to work… not being able to afford weekly therapy anymore because I lost my insurance… like money IS everything in a country like this. It is health care. It is food. It is a massage when you're in pain. It's an assistant when you can't remember anything. It's a gym trainer. It's all your meds and supplements. It's travel to keep the soul alive. Poverty is SHIT. At the end of the day I know some people are rich and still want to die. For me the hard work of needing to function while struggling is what makes me feel like ok, I KNOW I can make it if I work like really really hard, but my life is great… however it's not worth the squeeze. This is waaaaaaay too hard. Our systems are some BS. I would definitely stay alive if I could just cruise. I'd wait to die of natural causes and try my best to bring others joy when I'm ok enough, and just hang in there when I'm not. But the pressure to gtf up and work even when I'm unwell, I can't just wait it out…. Or I'll lose my home and not have money for food

it all depends why people want to die.
For me, I have a hard time functioning. I have learned great coping mechanisms where I'm ok living and actually love and appreciate my existence most days BUT, needing to function thru depression, needing to work… not being able to afford weekly therapy anymore because I lost my insurance… like money IS everything in a country like this. It is health care. It is food. It is a massage when you're in pain. It's an assistant when you can't remember anything. It's a gym trainer. It's all your meds and supplements. It's travel to keep the soul alive. Poverty is SHIT. At the end of the day I know some people are rich and still want to die. For me the hard work of needing to function while struggling is what makes me feel like ok, I KNOW I can make it if I work like really really hard, but my life is great… however it's not worth the squeeze. This is waaaaaaay too hard. Our systems are some BS. I would definitely stay alive if I could just cruise. I'd wait to die of natural causes and try my best to bring others joy when I'm ok enough, and just hang in there when I'm not. But the pressure to gtf up and work even when I'm unwell, I can't just wait it out…. Or I'll lose my home and not have money for food

Feel like 1 million wouldn't*** cut it, but it would sustain me for at least another 5 years in this expensive city. Or I can move to a random country and make it last a little longer. 1 million isn't what it used to be

 

[Forveleth]

My desire to CTB has nothing to do with money. Therefore money will not change my decision.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

It would make my life so much easier.

I've been unemployed for over three years because my mental health makes me unable to keep even the tiniest job, and I rely completely on money from my friends and family. I also hate the capitalist idea that a career is what matters most. I DON'T CARE ABOUT A CAREER. It makes me so depressed. I want to be happy, travel, and love people.

But there are days when I don't have anything to eat, or I eat cat food because it's cheaper. If it weren't for my friends and family, I would be homeless.

Would a million dollars make you not want to CBT?

Nope. Buy me a bit more time and settle down things back home. Travel and spend money on things and finally I'll ctb.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

It would reframe the way I look at my future and make certain life goals seem a lot more possible. So I suppose that would be a big difference.

But it wouldn't at all effect the bottom line for why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling and why I wanna die.

 

[iwanttodie019]

Lol theres no amount of money that can make me not want to CTB i would donate it to a charity i care deeply about

what kind of charity if you do not mind me asking?

 

[DeadManLiving]

It would enable survival

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

It would enable survival

That's pretty much it. Plus allowing the more expensive options for suiciding if need be.

 

[Mistergeburt]

It would make my life so much easier.

I've been unemployed for over three years because my mental health makes me unable to keep even the tiniest job, and I rely completely on money from my friends and family. I also hate the capitalist idea that a career is what matters most. I DON'T CARE ABOUT A CAREER. It makes me so depressed. I want to be happy, travel, and love people.

But there are days when I don't have anything to eat, or I eat cat food because it's cheaper. If it weren't for my friends and family, I would be homeless.

Would a million dollars make you not want to CBT?

Personally my death wish comes from having no purpose and everything feels hollow. I would try to do something good with the money (like donating) and then I'd still feel nothing and wanting to end it. Maybe I had a purpose when I had the money, but now I have none again. I'm only worth my money and what I can do.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

what kind of charity if you do not mind me asking?

Changing faces charity it helps people with a visible difference

 

[infinitesimal]

itd really be nice, but no amount of money will undo the abuse that i have endured. id be lying if i said it wasnt tempting, but in the end id still ctb…

id purchase the materials id need to ctb since its cheaper and more immediate, i dont enjoy having a deadline to ctb and rather do it on my own terms. the waitlist for assisted dying may be too long, even though i could sustain myself for a while since our currency is weak compared to usd. but i will still consider assisted dying as an alternative

maybe, just maybe i could indulge myself by travelling or eating a good meal before i go. but id also feel guilty since i feel like im wasting unnecessary money so im debating it

any remaining money will go to local charities and mutual aid in my country

 

[SealsOfTheArctic]

100% yes. My issues are fertility related so $1m would give me a chance at becoming a mother.

 

[bluupup]

It would make my life so much easier.

I've been unemployed for over three years because my mental health makes me unable to keep even the tiniest job, and I rely completely on money from my friends and family. I also hate the capitalist idea that a career is what matters most. I DON'T CARE ABOUT A CAREER. It makes me so depressed. I want to be happy, travel, and love people.

But there are days when I don't have anything to eat, or I eat cat food because it's cheaper. If it weren't for my friends and family, I would be homeless.

Would a million dollars make you not want to CBT?

I could buy a lot of percocet, so maybe.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

A million dollars.. I mean, in the end I'd wanna commit anyway, but I could use the money to buy myself a comfy way to commit AND I'd buy all the antique and vintage clothes and all the antique makeup compacts and all the Victorian jewelry and all the rococo furniture and ugh.. Maybe I'd just buy everything beautiful ever and hide myself in a room with all of it and kms peacefully, I'd dedicate all my belongings to a small curated historical museum of sorts, maybe if I died surrounded by antique beauty I could forget for just a moment that I live in this era, and I'd die feeling like an aristocratic lady of olden times.. A girl can dream

 

[LotteEldana]

I think at first, the urge would go away because i would be able to buy a lot of distractions. But deep down it wouldn't fix the real issue so after a while i would want to cbt again.