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GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
My best friend came to me for comfort when he was on a brink of a divorce. He ended up making a move on me and oh well, we hooked up. I was cheating on my boyfriend at the time, the one this very friend introduced me to, we were all in the same friend group. It destroyed the friendship, destroyed my relationship, and that started a domino effect that destroyed basically all of my social connections... Then when the emotional impact of what I've done hit, I tried to hang myself impulsively and failed. The rope broke sometime after I passed out and I didn't do enough damage to CTB, but did enough damage to spend a long time in recovery and end up with permanent, serious health problems. I lost my job and any chance at the career I wanted, and now I am going to deal with physical limitations and chronic pain for the rest of my pathetic life.
How's that for a big F up?
 
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blue_muse

blue_muse

Mage
Jan 31, 2021
552
Naively believing platitudes that "it will get better", the ones who said that are mysteriously quiet years later.
 
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blackwidow92

blackwidow92

Member
Nov 18, 2020
76
Using alcohol and weed to cope with my depression (whilst taking anti depressants) and it leading to me ending up in a psychiatric hospital due to having a manic episode. Got myself into debt & lost my car, my job, my home, my cat and partner as a result and have now been stuck as a neet for longer than I care to admit. Don't bother much with friends or anything else anymore because I'm so embarrassed about my situation. Just feel so incredibly stuck and haven't even got the gutts to ctb even though I have the means lol.
 
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C

CahCaw

Member
Jan 4, 2021
10
Using the fact that there are so many stupid and exploitative things about the world as an excuse to not focus on my shitty conduct and personal failings. I've done this throughout my early/mid-20s, and now it's too late.
How do I get out of this cycle myself? Because I feel like I might be falling in this trap too
 
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P

Pharmaruined

Nobody gets out alive
Sep 10, 2020
247
Not seeing obvious things.. taking stupid risks.. just a few of my doozies...

In 95 was the first company to offer cheap websites to businesses.
couldnt get people to give up their c.c info over the phone for small monthly fee.. shared what I was doing with a major telecom competitor.. the space we left, cuz of gov regulations..
2 years later found out he copied everything we did but added local carrier billing for the fee.. he made 100mil.. where as my bus failed.. for me to not see this solution to our billing problem at the time was so dumb it's beyond words.

1999 was making great money on internet search.. but literally one database we could have scraped (1 weeks work ) would have made me 10s of millions.. but I was lazy and didn't realize it existed even though many others knew all about it..

2002.. took the million I did make and threw it away on Some dumb land scam.. left me broke.. could have easily bought 3 houses on the beach oceanfront at the time.. which was my initial plan..but was greedy and trusted a crook..

Got hooked on drugs after fiancee left me.. and lost all my money.. couldn't pull the million I made In equity on a house I had an option on.. lost the house and the equity because I couldn't come up with the last 70k I needed to close the deal.

2009.made a comeback.. made another million...spent it all looking for a cure as my whole body crashed from a very strong dht blocker for hairloss.. was on a weaker one never had issues.. but I had the brilliant idea to switch to a stronger medication and it ruined me physically, emotionally etc..

Not investing in Bitcoin until it was way to late.. even though I told a programmer back in 2000 that whoever figures out internet money will be a billionaire.. instead I ignored it when Bitcoin launched in 09..
When I did eventually buy 30 bitcoin in 2017 I threw them all away investing in Bitcoin scams when the price was crashing

Despite being what others claim as brilliant I seem to always end up a loser.. I'm so sick of it
 
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cheesefundamental

cheesefundamental

Member
Apr 2, 2021
33
i let my depression get the better of me, and i lost my partners because of it.
 
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R

roguetrader

Experienced
Feb 17, 2021
245
Spending a fortune chasing women!
But I had a great time doing that, so maybe it wasn't a fuckup lol :pfff:
 
andweallfloatonok

andweallfloatonok

Member
Apr 2, 2022
38
never being brave or confident in myself. i never asked out people who i knew liked me because i was too scared of the tiny chance they would say no, so the relationship always died because there was weird tension. got stuck in an abusive relationship with a girl i didn't even really like because she asked me out and i wasn't brave enough to reject her, so i just went along with it. have almost no friends because i'm too terrified to talk to people. no skills because i was too scared to fail. never taking any risks ever with anything that could actually improve my life. don't get me wrong, i've been a teenage delinquent and made bad choices in drugs and shit, but the second it involves actually bettering myself in anyway or being happy, i get terrified and nope out. i'm genuinely trying not to do that shit now, but it's so hard because i'm a straight up fucking coward.
 
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J

jitendrabagaria786@

Student
May 19, 2022
161
Exactly my situation, except i married
never being brave or confident in myself. i never asked out people who i knew liked me because i was too scared of the tiny chance they would say no, so the relationship always died because there was weird tension. got stuck in an abusive relationship with a girl i didn't even really like because she asked me out and i wasn't brave enough to reject her, so i just went along with it. have almost no friends because i'm too terrified to talk to people. no skills because i was too scared to fail. never taking any risks ever with anything that could actually improve my life. don't get me wrong, i've been a teenage delinquent and made bad choices in drugs and shit, but the second it involves actually bettering myself in anyway or being happy, i get terrified and nope out. i'm genuinely trying not to do that shit now, but it's so hard because i'm a straight up fucking coward.
never being brave or confident in myself. i never asked out people who i knew liked me because i was too scared of the tiny chance they would say no, so the relationship always died because there was weird tension. got stuck in an abusive relationship with a girl i didn't even really like because she asked me out and i wasn't brave enough to reject her, so i just went along with it. have almost no friends because i'm too terrified to talk to people. no skills because i was too scared to fail. never taking any risks ever with anything that could actually improve my life. don't get me wrong, i've been a teenage delinquent and made bad choices in drugs and shit, but the second it involves actually bettering myself in anyway or being happy, i get terrified and nope out. i'm genuinely trying not to do that shit now, but it's so hard because i'm a straight up fucking coward.
Exactly my situation except I married that type of girl because I thought saying no will hurt her still it was okay but it went downhill after I made a wrong financial decision last year now ctb seems only option.
 
BEATNGU

BEATNGU

Bone collector
Jun 15, 2022
57
Picking up a thing of plastic fangs off of the ground when this one was four on Halloween night. They got trampled by every high schooler pouring from an auditorium it was in front of. Nearly killed them and has been a source of frustrating health problems ever since.
 
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19andOverdue

19andOverdue

Member
Jun 12, 2022
80
never being brave or confident in myself. i never asked out people who i knew liked me because i was too scared of the tiny chance they would say no, so the relationship always died because there was weird tension. got stuck in an abusive relationship with a girl i didn't even really like because she asked me out and i wasn't brave enough to reject her, so i just went along with it. have almost no friends because i'm too terrified to talk to people. no skills because i was too scared to fail. never taking any risks ever with anything that could actually improve my life. don't get me wrong, i've been a teenage delinquent and made bad choices in drugs and shit, but the second it involves actually bettering myself in anyway or being happy, i get terrified and nope out. i'm genuinely trying not to do that shit now, but it's so hard because i'm a straight up fucking coward.
I have gone through some similar traumatic events that make me feel like a coward nowadays. I have to remember that the only reason I don't take advantage of the good things in life is because I'm too scared of failure, because I know how badly failure hurts. So I get caught in a limbo of never doing anything meaningful.

My mental disorder manifests symptoms of impulsivity and pleasure-seeking. And yes, these things can get me into trouble sometimes, I like to think that maybe I do dumb things because I can't help but make life fun and thrilling. I can't just be a lazy stoner all day, so I practice investing my time into doing things that I know will pay out later in the day or week. It gives me something to look forward to and be proud of. It's incredible how a little responsibility can snowball into a meaningful day, and maybe even life
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
35,254
Not finding a way to leave this world at a younger age, it would have prevented a lot of suffering. However it is not really my fault that suicide is this difficult. If it was easier to leave, I would already be gone.
 
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S

ShellofmyFormerSelf

Member
Oct 4, 2020
44
Begging my parents for help as a kid. If I never went into that mental health service, I would never have been anhedonic and robbed off my life today.
 
Z

Zerengin96

Student
Jun 14, 2022
126
Not trying to treat my schizoid personality disorder while i was still in development. Apparently its easier to treat when your brain is still developing. Now i am an adult and i will stay a joyless and miserable schizoid with no connection to any human until i CTB
 
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Rd2nowhere

Rd2nowhere

Silly Tulip is a color.
Jun 16, 2022
91
One of many fuck ups…I was a buyer for a very large attraction in the US. I would build containers in china to be shipped to the states. I lined shot glasses on the bottom of the container. This particular order was 10,000 of the small shot glasses. The container landed went to the warehouse was processed, priced and inventoried. The shot glasses went to 5 stores and immediately started selling.

A couple of weeks went by and we started receiving calls about the shot glasses and people wanting a refund. Confused I looked at the shot glass. I misspelled the name of the attraction on the shot glass.

I was left with 9500 misspelled shot glasses.
 
F

Flying Away

A listening ear is better than suffering in silenc
Nov 20, 2021
393
Being born
 
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Eternal🌈Rainbow

Eternal🌈Rainbow

♡ ✨ ♡ 🌸 ♡ 💖 ♡ 🌈 ♡
Apr 2, 2022
241
Managing to lose the only chance (person) I had to live and keep going.

I managed to lose him due to my strong attachment issues, now it's just a countdown for me, with no date set but sooner or later it'll be over, I'll be over. This is hell every single fvcking day and I can't take any more of this nor of myself.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Still living and having to suffer in this hellish world and constantly getting knocked down by my cognitive issues and not ctb
 
nightnightnitrite

nightnightnitrite

baby blues
Apr 17, 2021
483
Having a kid with someone I can't stand. (NOT the kid!)
 
again_noidea

again_noidea

Experienced
Apr 22, 2021
254
I've been looking for an answer to this question all my adult life and I haven't found anything. No matter how critically I look at myself, there's really nothing that I could have done better or differently in any way that mattered, and in any way that was in my power. I don't have any visible reason or excuse for holding life in contempt the way I do.
i feel similar. yes, i feel remorse for certain things i did, but they were inevitable, i could not have acted in any other way. it is a weird feeling, became it would mean, that i have no free will to shape my faith. which would mean, that i do not decide if i kill myself or if i stay alife. it would mean, that i don't have saying in it, like in all other things. i don't understand these matters, because i feel, that there is something, that is, at least potentially, free and alive.
 
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J

jamie_

Specialist
May 21, 2022
330
looking at those messages. worst fears coming true, whole earth crashing down. scarred me for life
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
Neglecting my skin condition because of lack of awareness. My brain is conditioned to see the horror in everything ruining potential relations with others because of anxiety and depression
 
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SlipperyMick

SlipperyMick

Member
Mar 5, 2022
31
Doing cocaine everyday for about 3 years. Absolutely mashed my mental health or what was left of it
 
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coyotestark

coyotestark

Free at last, free at last.
Jun 13, 2022
72
Life it's self, fucked up real bad there l
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Living in terror since childhood. Spending beyond my means. Avoiding harsh financial realities. But I was unaware or was a victim of my own mental and psychological limitations. I blame myself entirely and not at all.
 
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L

lastdyingbreathe

Member
Jun 17, 2022
8
Believing that one day someone would save me, after all the trauma and shit I've gone through, thinking there would be some sort of silver lining. Not realising that I'm drowning in murky water, and the longer I wait, the further I sink, to the point that even I can't save myself.
 
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