Discussion What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

[bluebird16]

Tinnitus being gone.

 

[Dliena]

Being in a different reality/universe where I am not a mess and cruel like this and where the world is also not a mess AND cruel like this.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Improvement of my depression
Improvement of my chronic fatigue
A decent job

 

[GhostShell]

Being at least 50% healthy would be good enough for me.

 

[Aim]

A miracel.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

To have never been born!

I've literally been saying this since I was a child

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

If my psyciatrist were willing to give me any meds for my anxiety I'd consider living. Anxiety is the only reason holding me back from wanting to live coz it's so unbearble when it get's bad. But noooo I have to try to find "other techniques" that work instead. Doc, I've tried, nothing else works

Pregabalin helped me with anxiety in the past

 

[Cara7177]

Title says it all. What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

Absolutely nothing. I am determined.

 

[calebzz1]

Honestly, to reverse all the damage done by LASIK and to get my old eyes back.

If that can't happen, at least a refund back for the surgery and a huge reduction of my symptoms.

 

[onbekend]

I would be inclined to say that had I been more isolated without any social interaction things would've been better, however that would make me only feel better at the moment because I would've realized at some point sooner or later that the happiness I had been searching for my entire life was an illusion.

So, There's not a lot that would convince me from not CTBing.

 

[Doemu]

I think nothing.

For me it doesn't matter if I'm loved or not, being with people or alone, has to much money or not, if I feel pleasure or pain.

I just hate existence for it self. I think I will want to kill my self no matter what.

 

[sleepingintherain]

Title says it all. What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

if i was a woman

 

[CanIStopTryingNow]

A cure for bipolar

 

[Joker2003]

if i was a woman

I feel the same way. It hurts that I'll never be a real girl.

Gender Dysphoria sucks.

 

[kane9191kosugi]

To reset my life and vanish every trace of what I currently am.

…wait, that's not really far off from wanting to ctb lol.

Besides my expectations for humanity and the current world is so low that my emotions of wanting to ctb doesn't just come from my own personal issues (which is already shitty enough lol).

 

[Joker2003]

Title says it all. What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

Honestly, I think that it's too late for me.

My mind is shattered and my body is deteriorating. I had hope a few years ago, but not anymore.

 

[heavyeyes]

To never have been born in the first place

 

[Yaka]

Just to be able to move out of the hell I must call home

 

[BlazingBob]

At this point, nothing. I just don't want to be here anymore. At almost 52 I've done and seen enough.

 

[letsmakeitagoodworl]

Me too! It was litterary the happiest time of my life! I especially loved daycare. Everyone played with everyone, there was no bulliyng and no judging each other and no worries in the whole world. I'd do almost anything to go back! >_<

Same, maybe qe can invent a time machine whilst still having to exist lol.

I'd literally give an arm or leg to go back to that age. I just wish there was a way to appreciate it more without it getting ruined by knowing what adult life is like.

Just to be able to move out of the hell I must call home

Hey, don't wanna invalidate your suffering but that sounds possible. Can I ask what makes you feel or what's the barriers to moving outa home?

 

[hermestrimegistus]

A time machine. Go back, avoid traumatizing situations. Make different decisions. Never open up and tell anyone about aforementioned trauma. Probably would make me want to CTB less.

Or, if science fiction doesn't count, a legitimate friend I can trust that actually likes me for me and trusts me like I trust them. Someone who can be real with me and be totally themselves around me without fear of judgment. And maybe one good bear hug and genuine reassurance that they care about me. I think one good hug from the right person could potentially save my life haha. How sad.

 

[outrider567]

You can't bring back the dead

 

[Neowise]

Being intelligent, having at least one talent and not being so fucking useless whatever I do. If I only could stop being an eternal failure...

 

[GroundControl]

Title says it all. What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

For my mom to stop abusing me.

 

[ctbcat]

... reality shifting, probably :p i wish it was tangible. but i tried, in the past, and got no where. maybe when i die i'll 'respawn'. i'm not sure. not much of it matters. my current self is inescapable - even if i became famous, or... successful, or talented, whatever... i'd still have this brain that tries to eat me alive

 

[fleshgarden]

I do feel like this apathy and hopelessness would stick with me forever .. but if I could go back in time, and people actually helped me and understood me when I needed it that might help. if I felt like I could fit into the world, and I weren't always shunned away, it might help. to stop feeling incredibly stuck, and if I could just do the things I wanted .. if I could feel important, if people really cared about me I would want to live

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I've figured it out

1. A peaceful euthanasia option to use at an appointed time of my choosing, on my terms

2. More than a million dollars because why not

3. No more heart issues, it driven me up a wall to worry about collapsing from cardiac arrest or something over almost 3 years now despite taking Beta-blockers every damn day.

4. World peace?? Eh too generic considering the circumstances.


All this would go a long way to make me seriously reconsider ctb, any emotional manipulation will not do.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

Probably being able to be normally functioning and not so terrified of other people all of the time. To be able to go into public spaces without shutting down or panicking and to be able to have a fun day without spiraling into really dark thoughts and just sabotaging it for myself. If my parents weren't extreme alcoholics during my childhood and I was able to actually have a supportive space to learn and grow. I look at everyone that I know irl and I'm amazed that they can do everything they do. I really hope this site is still around when I decide to ctb

 

[Nofuture1234]

If I somehow woke up tall and not ugly, I would still have a ton of problems but I would have much more incentive to actually fix them instead of just CTB. Then I could quit drugs since I wouldn't need them just to feel any human warmth or relax or enjoy anything. I wouldn't be so bitter and jealous. And my physical health problems would start to heal, there would be an actual reason to leave the house and get a job.
I'd also have the energy and motivation to actually make up for the bad things for parts of my past instead of just hating myself over them while staying pretty much the same no matter how bad I feel.
I think I wouldn't have ever started doing drugs at all if I had had normal romantic relationships when people are supposed to. I wouldn't be so socially awkward either since I'd actually be ok with myself. Even if my childhood had been equally horrible I would've had a girlfriend and social circle to confide in, instead I just became a misanthrope pretty much.
I wonder how many people are rotting here solely due to their looks. Probably more than even realize it. It really is one of the main factors in quality of life. I can't imagine how much less anxious I'd be if I wasn't dismissed and mocked immediately for physical traits I have no control over and can't hide.
Sorry for rambling answer.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Gimme money honey