Discussion What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

[SpottedPanda]

Me too! I've embarrassed myself beyond believe with my symptoms

I've made the ultimate twit of myself in psychotic episodes, repeatedly, so much so, and to such an extreme, I seem to be beyond all embarrassment. Sometimes it might help to think everyone's flawed, and bad things happen, though I am aware this isn't much help when you're looking back and feeling low

 

[Fedrea]

A time machine would do nicely

 

[madbananas]

I don't mind at all. I don't drive, and wouldn't bother learning, so no car for me, but I'd probably spend a million on a house. I'd give a million away to my mother, and with the rest I'd simply eat the best foods, have the best furniture and have a cleaner, gardener.

My life probably wouldn't change dramatically. I'd just be in a super environment, with no money or insecurity in my lifestyle issues.

I think just the act of having retire now money would amplify my sense of security, and be quite calming.

With all that money you could also have your own personal driver!!

 

[SpottedPanda]

With all that money you could also have your own personal driver!!

I know, though I seldom leave the house, to be honest, and I doubt that'd change much. It would be nice to have a nice car to get to appointments and the like in, though

 

[willitpass]

to no longer feel like life has no meaning. to stop caring that all life ends in death so who the fuck cares when you die bc eventually everyone will forget

 

[lostangel]

To fix my crooked lip/nose.
To have a strong mind.
To have an emotionally supportive family.
To stop having poor mental health.

 

[1DayItWillBover]

to find a life long partner

 

[Fedrea]

to find a life long partner

Well that might happen!!!

 

[Acerakis]

I see enough incredibly depressed people in relationships to feel like a lifelong partner is not viable fix for problems.

 

[Krash1990]

I see enough incredibly depressed people in relationships to feel like a lifelong partner is not viable fix for problems.

Not for all but some might very well be happy with their life if they had a true companion.

 

[WarRunner]

Going back in time and getting to know my crush more so that we can become lovers.

 

[Taraxias]

If i was cured from my health problems i would live my life again . with this illness i have no life

 

[Deleted member 10475]

For things to actually get better. I've been putting forth the effort every day, but everything just gets worse. It'd be nice for the universe to actually work with me for once.

 

[Cosmiq]

I think I would have been born under completely different circumstances. Like to where I wasn't born out of an affair, and my parents weren't into heavy drugs and in a violent environment and even then I'm not sure how much I'd benefit from that change. I think that would just change my mental health. I try to remain confident proud of my race and the way I look. But to be honest, sometimes I wish that maybe I just had lighter skin, like even if I'm still black I'd just want lighter skin because it would have probably changed me being bullied. I can get plastic surgery for everything else, like my nose, and can fix my teeth but bleaching your skin is a bit of gamble and is looked at negatively.

I'm not sure if any change could prevent me from wanting to ctb at all. I don't really know what it's like to not have trauma or depression, so it's very difficult to imagine myself without it completely. Even if I won the lottery, I think at most it'd just make me put it off longer and create a bucket list that I could actually complete.

 

[coldeyes]

Enough money to move to a little shack hidden far enough from society to live in. Ideally in some woodland or near a lake.

Or a permanent stay in a psychiatric ward.

You don't need money to live in a woodland or by the lake. You can eat leaves, tubers, raw fish etc. Swim for baths. No people around.

 

[MaybeSoon]

You don't need money to live in a woodland or by the lake. You can eat leaves, tubers, raw fish etc. Swim for baths. No people around.

There's not many 'wild' places left in England. Certainly not where I live, and the weather wouldn't allow it anyway. If I lived in America it'd be a different story. My dream would be Aokigahara in Japan though.

 

[muffin222]

Intensive psychotherapy and the financial means to undertake it

 

[xLosthopex]

To be able to go back in time and fix mistakes I made, the guilt and feeling like a terrible person is the reason that I'm going to ctb

 

[Bruces]

Magic wand

 

[rikamonie]

for my long term girlfriend that just broke up with me to be with me again, she broke up with me suddenly because her gaming addiction was more important than talking to me, before i met her i was depressed and had nothing to live for and now im back to the beginning, i have no reason to live and no point in life with no hope, she was the only reason i lived and now shes gone so, so will i soon

 

[luneetétoiles]

To love and be loved. And for that person to not let me down.

 

[Fedrea]

But to be honest, sometimes I wish that maybe I just had lighter skin, like even if I'm still black I'd just want lighter skin because it would have probably changed me being bullied. I can get plastic surgery for everything else, like my nose, and can fix my teeth but bleaching your skin is a bit of gamble and is looked at negatively.

That is bullshit pressure from a racist society, you probably look great.

I'm sorry about your trauma

for my long term girlfriend that just broke up with me to be with me again, she broke up with me suddenly because her gaming addiction was more important than talking to me, before i met her i was depressed and had nothing to live for and now im back to the beginning, i have no reason to live and no point in life with no hope, she was the only reason i lived and now shes gone so, so will i soon

Could they not be an amazing girl out there for you you just haven't met yet? Break ups can HURT but there's so many great people out there, It's always possible that another one could turn your life around

 

[WinterFaust]

Good physical health. Employment and okay finances. Friends and a loved one. Despite my awful mental health over the years, when I had those things, living still seemed possible

 

[Final Escape]

I would have to have a nice residence in a good area where it doesn't suck to live. Have enough money, food, things that u need to live for the rest of your life. A private fresh water supply and my own land. I would want to have an intimate partner. But other than that I can't think of anything. Friends and things to do. Currently I have nothing, few friends, no kids, no partner, I can no longer financially support myself, live in middle of nowhere. Pretty soon I have to end it because I don't want to just exist like this.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

My husband to be alive again.

 

[maru.]

Quite a few things actually, and even then i don't know if it would be enough, perhaps i'm broken beyond repair, either way, here it goes:

1. Having the body i wish i did, looking how i want to look, not just from this point on, i wish i always looked beautiful.
2. Being able to learn things, excel at college and at my career without any effort at all, i'm just too tired.
3. Actually, yeah, that's probably a better thing to ask tbh, for me to not feel tired and exhausted all of the time even though i do nothing.
4. I'd still like to pull things off without effort tho, what can i say, i'm a lazy fuck.
5. I don't know why i'm still numbering, this isn't even a list anymore, i'm just rambling.
6. For me to feel more pleasure in the things i do, especially in the stuff i study, in my future career, it's what i have to spend most of my time on, i wish i enjoyed it.
7. I wish i had a girlfriend, one that i love and that loves me, the kind of relationship that turns into marriage, having kids, that kind of thing.
8. I wish i was a truly good and perfect person, so i wouldn't feel regret, so i wouldn't have to feel anymore guilt, cuz i wouldn't make mistakes.
9. I wish i could live in a world where i never made any of the mistakes i cringe at and regret today, i wish my life was perfect until now and onwards.
10. So yeah, to sum it all up, i wish everything about me and my life was perfect, then maybe, just maybe, i'd be happy.
11. Yeah, i'm very spoiled, maybe i deserve to be in the mental health state i'm in, i brought this upon myself for being so demanding and hard to please.

 

[coldeyes]

I think I would have been born under completely different circumstances. Like to where I wasn't born out of an affair, and my parents weren't into heavy drugs and in a violent environment and even then I'm not sure how much I'd benefit from that change. I think that would just change my mental health. I try to remain confident proud of my race and the way I look. But to be honest, sometimes I wish that maybe I just had lighter skin, like even if I'm still black I'd just want lighter skin because it would have probably changed me being bullied. I can get plastic surgery for everything else, like my nose, and can fix my teeth but bleaching your skin is a bit of gamble and is looked at negatively.

I think I would have been born under completely different circumstances. Like to where I wasn't born out of an affair, and my parents weren't into heavy drugs and in a violent environment and even then I'm not sure how much I'd benefit from that change. I think that would just change my mental health. I try to remain confident proud of my race and the way I look. But to be honest, sometimes I wish that maybe I just had lighter skin, like even if I'm still black I'd just want lighter skin because it would have probably changed me being bullied. I can get plastic surgery for everything else, like my nose, and can fix my teeth but bleaching your skin is a bit of gamble and is looked at negatively.

I'm not sure if any change could prevent me from wanting to ctb at all. I don't really know what it's like to not have trauma or depression, so it's very difficult to imagine myself without it completely. Even if I won the lottery, I think at most it'd just make me put it off longer and create a bucket list that I could actually complete.

Why not move to Africa? Nigeria, Uganda. Everybody there is black and they are unaware they are different!

I'm not sure if any change could prevent me from wanting to ctb at all. I don't really know what it's like to not have trauma or depression, so it's very difficult to imagine myself without it completely. Even if I won the lottery, I think at most it'd just make me put it off longer and create a bucket list that I could actually complete.

 

[foreverbroken28]

For my angel to come back into my life and be my friend like we were 2/3 years ago but I fucked everything due to BPD and he has made it clear that will never happen again.

 

[Tintypographer]

Go back in time and change most of my major life decisions

 

[xLosthopex]

For my angel to come back into my life and be my friend like we were 2/3 years ago but I fucked everything due to BPD and he has made it clear that will never happen again.

I did this too because of my bpd:(