Discussion What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

[SaveOurLastGoodbye]

I wish I could go back in time and save my best friend from CTB by helping him fight the cancer he was diagnosed with. His death has been the main catalyst of my life going downhill. If I CTB I would hope to see him again and apologize for all of my mistakes. He was truly one of the most genuine and kindest people I had ever known in my life, and I still think about him three years after it all happened.

I would also like to go back in time and fix all the mistakes I made with my partner, so that they would still be with me right now. Without them this world is not fulfilling me. I made so many fucking stupid mistakes I could've avoided with them, and it all continues to haunt me. Despite everything, I really truly loved them. Holding out flimsy hope that they will come back is probably the only thing still keeping me from ending it, though I don't know if they will.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't think there is a long-term solution to stop me from at least wanting to CTB at some stage. There are certainly short-term solutions that would help me want to stay longer. I'd like my creative job to be stable and I'd like to earn enough from it to live comfortably. Beyond that though- I'm getting older. Soon no doubt I'll start to encounter health problems- so I'd have to wish them away. I don't fancy seeing other people suffer either- so- no health problems for all! I don't like experiencing other people die either. So- no death for all! So- before long at all, the whole situation becomes impossible!

Realistically- the only way to stop me from wanting to CTB would be if I were never born to begin with (preferable.) Or- if I die of natural causes in the imminent future!

 

[penguinl0v3s]

You'd have to bring back the dead. Ah.

 

[Neytemaa]

Free money

 

[bwerner]

recouping the $ I lost in the stock market

 

[Ernest1964]

One hundred million dollars.

 

[ThymeToLeave]

Radical changes to my life, my future, and me as a person. So radical I can't really imagine them.

 

[Some place nice]

Before I would've said someone to love me the way I love them, but now that I have that I still want to ctb. Now idk what it'll take, what I thought was wrong, tho it did help prolong my ctb.

 

[StaticCryBabye]

Eternal youth and money.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Money - it'y my only problem. 5-10 Million $$$ would be more than enough.

That doesn't mean I never ever consider CTB again for other reasons e.g. health issues or bc of other problems that cannot be solved even with money.

 

[OcularFear]

Title says it all. What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

To live without this monster in my head. To live without the visions I experience daily. To live without worrying I'll kill someone if I lose control of my body again. If I didn't have "him" in my mind trying to overwrite me, then I'd be in a better place, in a position to achieve my life long dream still. Sadly that isn't the case though.

 

[Princess_Kitty]

I'd need my depression to be gone, been living with it my entire life. To not be transgender anymore, it's the worst. Like many others have said couple million dollars would help. I'd probably still be depressed and suicidal but, at least I'd be able to buy whatever I want and not worry about if "if we have enough money to buy groceries and eat". That's a big part of me wanting to CTB.

 

[onetimereject]

There's a multitude of things that could improve, but in short, a lot of money.

 

[pasho25000]

to feel alive again

 

[SquirtleKyun]

I think a way to sate my constant curiosity might honestly be all it would take for me to at least get the motivation to live again.

 

[mrelief82]

Turn back time …. By 8 years or by 5 years or 1,5 or at least a month. Many i Could still live .

 

[ReadyOrNot?]

Literally magic. I want to resurrect all the cats I grew up with, work magic to blow away my mental Problems, Poverty and give me a good, fun job I'm able to do. It wouldn't be gone then, but it's a start.

 

[returntothevoid]

World peace. Specifically climate change, deforestation, mass species extinction to end. Human social hierarchy to not be a thing. But that will never happen, because people do not care and are inherently only self interested. So nothing basically, since the fundamental qualities of being human would have to change, and again that is impossible.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Honest answer: I don't even know, some have said money but I don't think you could give me any amount that would make me not want to ctb anymore because it's simply something that can't be dealt with through materialistic means in an instant once given a lot of money. Nothing honestly

 

[matt1968]

Some energy, some hope.

Like others, going back. Not necessarily to change some of the things that have happened but to have been given the kind of emotional and life upbringing that might have given me a better chance.

 

[CoffeeN]

Nobody should bother me , to move out, no more verbal abusing, coffee station at home

 

[mortuarymary]

No bipolar, ME, long covid. Loads of money so I can travel and help lots of animals around the world. No insomnia.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Sounds naive but a simple romantic relationship built on mutual attraction and trust is literally all I need. I feel like I'm so ready to self actualize or self improve or just stop hating myself in general but that just can't happen until someone else steps in and proves once and for all that I'm worthy of recovery.

 

[ResilientAF]

To not have any health issues, autism, PTSD, bipolar 1, ADHD (but they won't assess for that as I'm unmedicated for bipolar) , to have been a healthy baby, To have had parents who were emotionally available and without issues. That would be a start. All labels diagnosed mid life after relentless struggle and crashed in 2014. Been one label after another. Medication doesn't do anything, like giving a blind person drugs and expecting them to see again. I resist and get threatened with sectioning. Every burn out results in lengthy sick leave and reduced coping ability. Thanks for reading.

 

[KafkaF]

For my previous girlfriend to come back to me or to somehow find someone I love even more who's even more perfect for me (but I don't think that's possible).

Beyond that I don't think there's anything.

If you'd asked me this question two years ago before I met my previous girlfriend I would've said: If I can find someone new who loves me and/or if I can become a professional writer.

But I think at this point even if I were able to become a professional writer it wouldn't be enough for me not to want to end things. And I don't think even just finding someone new who loves me would help anymore either. I miss her too much and it hurts too much. I feel like she was my soulmate and my life will never be the same again.

 

[Silent_cries]

If my psyciatrist were willing to give me any meds for my anxiety I'd consider living. Anxiety is the only reason holding me back from wanting to live coz it's so unbearble when it get's bad. But noooo I have to try to find "other techniques" that work instead. Doc, I've tried, nothing else works

 

[Shrike]

Any one of these would work:

• enough money to both have my creature comforts and hobbies and not need to endure forced interaction ever again. By this I mostly mean work. I'd build a house in the woods somewhere, setup rooms for gaming, movie watching, art, etc. Get a dog. Start a small garden
• a job that is actually compatible with my personality and therefore doesn't lead to constant burnout, uses my skills well, and does something useful for the world
• a tribe. A circle of friends of people who get me and I get them and we have commonality in how we see the world. People with more complexity in them than "don't worry, be happy", that think deeply and are not embarrassed by their depth, and their depth is not simply a matter of identity. People who are not preachy and judgmental and didn't just live sheltered lives. People who do not cause pointless strife in search of status, but are there to support each other because this is our tribe. One person wouldn't be enough, I'd never trust it
• alternatively, an order. A group or organization that follows decent values and accomplishes something useful while developing camaraderie within the group
• a passion or natural talent. I suspect my brain wiring and anhedonia simply makes passions not possible. I can mildly enjoy things but nothing enough that I wake up with a burning desire to do it. Nor does there seem to be anything I'm particularly good at. Being 30+, many roads are closed

 

[Silent_cries]

To live without this monster in my head. To live without the visions I experience daily. To live without worrying I'll kill someone if I lose control of my body again. If I didn't have "him" in my mind trying to overwrite me, then I'd be in a better place, in a position to achieve my life long dream still. Sadly that isn't the case though.

Have you tried meds? Ik meds can sometimes help with this stuff. Not trying to be the "try therapy, therapy helps" kind of person as ik therapy doesn't always help, but I've heard some ppl get rid of this stuff or at least get it less with medication. Either way I wish the best for you no matter what choice you make. Do wathever feels right for you :)

 

[letsmakeitagoodworl]

To be a child again

I was literally just talking to an older friend who was mentioning her grandkids & we were saying how the world is magical, new & amazing to kids & how we all wish we'd been able to appreciate it more (assuming a child has a average/decent upbringing).

I wish so bad to go back

 

[Silent_cries]

I was literally just talking to an older friend who was mentioning her grandkids & we were saying how the world is magical, new & amazing to kids & how we all wish we'd been able to appreciate it more (assuming a child has a average/decent upbringing).

I wish so bad to go back

Me too! It was litterary the happiest time of my life! I especially loved daycare. Everyone played with everyone, there was no bulliyng and no judging each other and no worries in the whole world. I'd do almost anything to go back! >_<