What to do when you ask for help but it doesn't come?

[Fizz]

I have been seeking help for my depression since mid 2018, but in 2020 I failed to ctb. I have been in therapy, with a crisis team for a year and a half. I have tried 5 antidepressants. Rather than feeling relieved, I just deteriorated with the effects of 2020 - my best friend ctb, my partner's grandparents died, I didn't see anyone for 8 months due to lockdown rules, and my wedding was cancelled twice. My referrals have been lost by services, appointments cancelled or delayed, things I asked for still outstanding a year later.

People asked me to hold on but I don't know what I am waiting for since I have experienced the opposite of getting better, I am doing everything I can to generate a positive feedback loop but I just can't get a break. Nothing I do is enough. I feel I'm more resentful, pessimistic and angry that I'm still here with all that happened after my attempt. I'm not being taken seriously, and while I want to live I can't see the help actually coming. I've been so patient, I've tried everything. I can't do it alone.

 

[Tackingintothewind]

You're not alone. Try talking to your fiancé(e) about how you are feeling. We here on ss will do our best to support you if living is what you want to do, many people here have similar experiences. Mental health is a joke in many countries

 

[Bergamot]

I don't ask help,bcz no one is kind like me to help me, example I always help my GF for everything and what she does ? Hurt me,destroy me.

 

[Tackingintothewind]

I don't ask help,bcz no one is kind like me to help me, example I always help my GF for everything and what she does ? Hurt me,destroy me.

Sounds like an abusive relationship, why are you still in it?

 

[Symbiote]

I just suck it up and do it on my own. I realize I do a lot of things on my own when it takes two to help out. Self-reliance is the key because it won't allow you to be let down by people you entrusted.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think it's a positive thing you want help!
You could keep on seeking help!
Some people will be willing to help you! We will support you and help you too!

 

[Dreams and Visions]

I am doing everything I can to generate a positive feedback loop but I just can't get a break. Nothing I do is enough.

I can't tell you enough how much I understand how this feels.

I think it is positive, too, that you are proactive about seeking help and are not giving up on it.

I sincerely believe that as long as you are trying your best, putting an honest foot forward, and doing everything in your power to take care of yourself, that everything will be okay for you. I get why it doesn't seem this way right now, but I can see that you are doing absolutely everything that you can, and nothing is your fault.

It seems like you've been through quite a lot in this past year, so I would encourage you to talk to your significant other more about how you are feeling and be honest about it.

You can also talk about it here. A weird thing that I do to cope sometimes is I have a audio diary where I just really, and I mean really vent about what I am going through. This is usually because I am in the same boat as you where I feel like I don't have the external support, but it feels really good to just be able to express yourself. I really hope that things will get better for you, you will be in my thoughts.