How do you know if you're depressed?

[juneberry1234]

Within the last 2 years I've gone through a lot, my life took a complete 180. I've suffered an awful break up which definitely is the catalyst for all the events afterwards. I lost confidence in myself that I don't think will ever return. How do I know if I'm depressed? I have a therapist that is free from my school however I always lie to her. I don't tell her that I can't sleep some nights because I'm anxious for the future or hating myself for past events. I don't tell her that whenever I wake up and can't go back to sleep my mind shoots straight to hating myself. I've been considering sh after a hiatus from it and at this rate will most likely start sometime in the next month. Most of the day I'm in a neutral mood, I'm never truly happy, and the the rest of the day I am having ctb thoughts or thinking, "why doesn't anyone else feel like me?" How do I go up to my therapist and tell her everything? For the last 6 months I've really been picking up my drinking, like almost every night with over 5+ drinks on average each time and typically drink alone. I used to smoke marijuana alone every night for about a year straight but stopped that and honestly my life has been worse since then, I feel as though the consistent use of marijuana messed me up and I just feel more dumb than I was 2 years ago. I just genuinely want to know if I am depressed and how to deal with it. I have some friends who take pills and am wondering if those would help me. I don't find pleasure in many things anymore, playing video games feels like a chore yet I resort to that anyway. I don't talk to my friends much anymore and typically just talk to my roommate most days. Please let me know what I can do.

 

[anhedonya]

I believe you do have depression. The symptoms can range, but there are a few key points being hit here. Finding comfort in abusing substances/alcohol/etc. to deal with life, loss of pleasure within activities that were once fun, self-isolation due to this loss of pleasure, and insomnia. I'm sorry you're going through this and for the difficult breakup you had to endure. It's not easy to recover, especially if the relationship was toxic/lasted a while/occurred during a very pivotal time in your life.

Here's what you can do: Practice harm reduction for the substances. Quitting cold turkey is NOT easy and often makes people fail more than anything else. Go little by little until you reach the point where you no longer have a schedule that you are taking them by. That's the real issue, preparing it and scheduling around it. "I'll drink another glass when I get home from work."- phrases like that show a dependence that you are waiting for, and so you should slowly work towards no more scheduling or reward system attached to it, and bring yourself down to a sober state little by little. As for the depression itself, is there anyway you could get a therapist you like and trust if you don't already have/could culminate that with your school one? Medication helps some people with depression, for others it's a circumstances thing and parts of their life need to be changed, and for others it's the resolution/closure of a hurtful event. All of these would be extremely helpful to talk through with a professional who can help you with the steps.

 

[Young.Werther]

This might be better suited for the recovery section. In regards to checking if you're depressed, you can look up "MDD DSM" and see if you meet the criteria. Honestly though, I feel like it's just a label and personally I don't care for the labels.

As for what to do, I think that depends on what you want. Maybe take some time and work that out. From my personal experience, I think this has to be done alone. I don't think there's anyone I've shared with where I didn't end up regretting it for one reason or another. There are others on the forum with different experiences, but that's my take anyways. Maybe the exception is if you want to be convinced into recovery (people are by and large pro life). Depending on what you want you take steps to make that happen. If you want to leave I'd say keep it to yourself so you don't hurt others so much. There are some resources on the forum. If you want to recover, try to get some support. Therapists work for some people, you can take it slow until you're comfortable. For drinking/marijuana I think there are groups/programs. Reach back out to your friends for support.

Whatever you decide, good luck. I hope you find some peace.

 

[anhedonya]

Dude, this person is coming here because their life is falling apart and they don't know how to get out of it, and that's all you have to say? "Go to the right forum, BTW avoid all the pro life people around here cause if you wanna kill yourself even though you just said you wanted help and advice, look around the forum."

Your added commentary after the fact of kind words doesn't change the fact that you just told someone suffering and scared, unsure of where to go next in life and how they can lift themselves out of this hole, to keep considering suicide as a possible option and that they should go find the right place because you just can't be bothered to hear about it here. That was so messed up of you to say and completely inappropriate to focus on. Wow.

Blocking you BTW, in case you feel the need to respond to me. That was so fucked.

 

[theboy]

by the characteristics you present

 

[PINKIESISU]

Within the last 2 years I've gone through a lot, my life took a complete 180. I've suffered an awful break up which definitely is the catalyst for all the events afterwards. I lost confidence in myself that I don't think will ever return. How do I know if I'm depressed? I have a therapist that is free from my school however I always lie to her. I don't tell her that I can't sleep some nights because I'm anxious for the future or hating myself for past events. I don't tell her that whenever I wake up and can't go back to sleep my mind shoots straight to hating myself. I've been considering sh after a hiatus from it and at this rate will most likely start sometime in the next month. Most of the day I'm in a neutral mood, I'm never truly happy, and the the rest of the day I am having ctb thoughts or thinking, "why doesn't anyone else feel like me?" How do I go up to my therapist and tell her everything? For the last 6 months I've really been picking up my drinking, like almost every night with over 5+ drinks on average each time and typically drink alone. I used to smoke marijuana alone every night for about a year straight but stopped that and honestly my life has been worse since then, I feel as though the consistent use of marijuana messed me up and I just feel more dumb than I was 2 years ago. I just genuinely want to know if I am depressed and how to deal with it. I have some friends who take pills and am wondering if those would help me. I don't find pleasure in many things anymore, playing video games feels like a chore yet I resort to that anyway. I don't talk to my friends much anymore and typically just talk to my roommate most days. Please let me know what I can do.

Well alls I can say is that I am miserable in this existence and completely out of place and not my real self but I'm not depressed why do I say I'm not depressed because my misery comes from everything I mentioned I think depression when you have it you're depressed for no reason at all I on the other hand I'm depressed for those reasons I mentioned

 

[UKscotty]

If someone doesn't enjoy life or hates existing, they are suffering with depression.

Being suicidal is also a key symptom of depression, so if someone is on here it's extremely likely they have depression, even if they don't think so.

 

[ringo99]

Some signs I noticed in me are:
1. I don't enjoy music anymore. Every song I listen to is somehow attached to a painful memory nowadays
2. Happy memories are becoming harder and harder to recall while bad ones stand out vividly
3. Thinking about ctb gives me an enormous sense of relief. Whenever I feel stressed out about something I always tell myself that death by SN is always available
4. I can't appreciate good food. I pretty much eat like an automaton
5. I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone
6. I never want to leave home. Thankfully I have a remote working job but I have a feeling I'll be losing it in the near future. This actually makes me happy
7. I have zero desire to improve my station in life. Just waiting for the day that I get laid off so the final barrier is gone and I can be free to die