Discussion What made you think about ctb the first time?

[FrankieVallie]

12 years old. Was getting bullied horribly in 7th grade in a "Christian" school. I thought that because the people there called themselves Christians, they would have some minimum level of decency and respect. I couldn't have been more wrong. Came home every day after getting bullied to parents who were angry at me since I was a "wimp" for showing any kind of emotion. Never was able to have a genuine conversation with them after that. I was suffering alone, and studied for hours and hours every day to distract myself from the pain. No friends or relatives to talk to. Life was just a dreary monotony of school, studying, pain, and loneliness. It hasn't changed since them. I genuinely thought of using a microwave oven transformer to electrocute myself, and almost did it multiple times. I regret that I didn't end it then and there.

 

[Vault of Memories]

Age 13 or 14 when I was bullied in a christian school because I was "different" had Asperger's and I stood out since the class size was smaller...teachers did nothing..I was touched inappropriately by principals and was told I'm demon possessed and going to hell when they found my art and poetry about suicide.

The irony of a Christian school treating someone less of a person, as if they're not a "Children of God". Honestly, the most religious people are usually the the ones talking shit about poor people and doing charity events solely because they think it'll get them into heaven. I'm sorry you had to go through this, even worse that an adult participated.

 

[Saint-mal]

23 now and wanted to ctb since around seven probs due to all the sexual abuse and the the neglect from my mom

 

[death137]

I was 14 (about to turn 15). We were going to change home and I didn't like the new home.

 

[FrankieVallie]

The irony of a Christian school treating someone less of a person, as if they're not a "Children of God". Honestly, the most religious people are usually the the ones talking shit about poor people and doing charity events solely because they think it'll get them into heaven. I'm sorry you had to go through this, even worse that an adult participated.

I definitely don't mean to say that this applies to all Christian/religious people (I am religious myself), but some of the most fake and evil people I've seen call themselves Christians. It's more of a nice social status than a religion nowadays. They show up to church every Sunday with nice clothes and hair and pretend to listen to the sermon for an hour, then proceed to go home to the suburbia they live in and engage in all sorts of immoral and evil acts. Church is nothing more than a nice community social event for free food or entertainment. They are such fake people, always greeting you with a big smiles and warm words while stabbing you behind your back. They spend time at friend's houses with laughter and smiles, then proceed to say horrible things about each other as soon as they're gone. They claim they are saved by God's grace and forgiveness, but treat anyone who needs their help with cruelty and anger.

 

[Literalgarbage]

When I was about 9 I just remember really wanting to die, I put a plastic bag over my head (as we were always told this could kill you) and lay there for a while. Nothing happened so I gave up on the idea for a few years, took a few pills age 14, had a plan to jump under a train age 17. Unfortunately I didn't do it, left home and thought I could have a normal life. Now many years later it has just gradually come back as I've now messed up my children's life with my anxiety.

I was in fifth grade when i tried to commit suicide i used a grocery bag to try and kill myself but i'd always take off the bag, my parents never caught me even though it was loud, six grade i moved up to trash bags but still would pull it off of my head, highschool i tried using restraints with it, and now im trying with sleeping pills, when my time comes that is

 

[LonelyNick]

I was in a suicide pact as a teenager. It's always been on my mind...

 

[Cherrypea]

I was in fifth grade when i tried to commit suicide i used a grocery bag to try and kill myself but i'd always take off the bag, my parents never caught me even though it was loud, six grade i moved up to trash bags but still would pull it off of my head, highschool i tried using restraints with it, and now im trying with sleeping pills, when my time comes that is

As a parent myself now I think it's so sad my mum didn't have the emotionally ability to see what pain I was in. I can't imagine not realising. Once they are older teenagers maybe but not when they were 8.