Discussion what keeps you here?

[Zyntkalla]

The only thing that is keeping me hear is that I would like to get some games done before I go. The main games is Assassin's Creed games and only it has the protagonist point of view. There might be some more stuff but I haven't decided if it is important enough to do.

I do have most of my plan figured out. I only have to worry about getting the SN & other stuff to make it more peaceful when I take the stuff. I am also currently still deciding if I want to send a note to my doctor about my pain I have been going through my hole life or do a poem about living. I might not do it at all but unlikely I will go that way. I know I will send it about three weeks or more & it will have the date I actually sent it on. The main thing I am worried about is the doctor will tell everything in the note to my parents. I am not worried about hurting them. I don't want them to know anything about my true feelings thay aren't important to me enough to know. The feelings I will put down isn't anything negative towards them. And I am still dealing with the loss of everything when I CTB. Definitely the important memories, thought's & ideas I've had. The loss of it is painful for me. To bad there isn't any reincarnation that has been proven. If there was I would take the important stuff to my next life. I like to describe it like I am making a new soul that supposed to be me.

 

[Myrth]

I think that I'm scared of the pain of trying to CBT. And I have no clue what my preferred method would but it does feel like I'm getting more and more into a breaking point.