Discussion what keeps you here?

[GyreOfAsh]

What keeps me here are many different connections to the world. Structures that form my identity. I'm slowly & systematically ensuring that they're greatly reduced &/or completely separate from my access. Once that process is fully complete, I can go whenever.

 

[eyenumbing]

I don't have a method plus I am terrified of traumatizing anyone who will find my body.

 

[violetforever]

days/moods like today. im more just irritated than suicidal. kind of "rational" too? i feel like one of my reasons for ctb has worn off since i stopped caring so much about that person/situation lately. what the fuck. how did i care so much for 2 years and now i dont seem to? i think i got the closure and exposure i needed. who knows, i might be crying about it and care all over again tomorrow. my feelings about this are so conflicting. i broke down crying in the shower over it a few days ago and today i feel almost nothing?

 

[Unlucky777]

My dad just passed away two months ago and I feel extremely guilty about CTBing cause of the pain it will cause my mom and my older sister.

My nices, I love them and wanna see them grow up. Got another niece on the way.

The potential for a better future. Going back to school to study audio engineering and music production.

I realize how far I've come and how much I've healed from the traumas from the last 15 years.

Despite all this and the fact that things are a lot brighter in my life, I still want to kill myself. It's the only feeling that has been consistent for me

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think my suicide would really upset my Dad so, I'm trying to wait for him to pass first. I have a feeling fear of attempting may hold me back after that but, hopefully I'll push through that.

 

[vivia]

Fear or survival instinct. I can't beat those two, or are they actually the same? It's funny, I really have nothing to lose but I'm still afraid to log out of this world.

 

[vascomorrow]

i'm sure people have already discussed this before, but what keeps you from ctb, even knowing you're going to eventually do it? i've always been curious to what other people have in their lives that keep them around, most people i ask always give really deep meaning answers which i do appreciate but i feel like it doesn't always have to be that deep. for me, it's recently been really small things. one of my favorite shows is dropping new episodes every week and i want to finish it before i inevitably ctb, is it like this for anyone else? am i misconstrued for having such shallow reasons for sticking around?

Oreos

 

[SmigSauer]

Death is a complete unknown. If I was shown undeniable proof that a peaceful afterlife exists, I would shoot myself tomorrow. I only continue to live because the alternative is possibly worse than life.