Last year I got severely depressed. Couldn't do anything, stopped eating. Lost too much weight. My knee gave in and had to see the doctor in the Uk (I was in Spain). He said I've got severe depression so started the Sertaline. He started asking my questions about bipolar and if anyone in my family has it (I said no), he then asks about ADHD. I knew this was from ADD as that's what it was called before but I didn't know the full ins and outs of it. I started to read about it myself looking at papers and studies - lead me to the subject of the autism spectrum.
It struck me that I've never been social. Even here - you may believe I'm social but I'm kind of like a robot and just taking in information and can explain it forever as the subject either interests me or I have a lot of knowledge that I can provide. A friend who lived across the road from me brought me into his "friend group". I've never actually made a friend in my life and I actually masked this individual for about 14 years. After that I've masked two business partners (one scarily well) - we were in a meeting at a boardroom (was a one off thing). I don't like more than 3 people in a group it's just too much for me but I just quoted figures for property stuff however when it switched to something not relating to property I basically become a social recluse. Even in golf - people talk to me because they can see me filming (I'm checking technique, club path and sequencing) and they engage with me because of the knowledge. Small talk outside a subject = non existent.
Data: GP said maybe do a test online. I did 7 tests (tried to get websites that were not linked in anywhere to keep it as "clean" as possible data wise) all ranked very high in terms of autism, neurodivergent, etc. Did the Mensa UK test for Iq and scored 131 (linked autism + IQ = high chance of depression).
The GP has been helping me fill out forms for the National Autism Society as I had to fill out some forms to apply. They've contacted me as I'm in the list (they usually outright will say no to a diagnosis if your answers are no where near to their parameters). It involves a grant but the GP has written that this needs to be looked at urgently as he believes it is heavily tied to the depression.
I would always say go through professionals who know this in and out but problem is you have to find the problem yourself and then they willl look at it.
The causes of autism aren’t clear. But the symptoms are not hard to spot. The key often is watching for developmental milestones. Learn about the signs of autism.
www.webmd.com
- Playing, sharing, or talking with other people don't interest them. (For me playing and sharing)
- They prefer to be alone. (For me this is correct)
- They avoid or reject physical contact, including hugging. (I don't like physical contact - accepted it only from partner but over time)
- They avoid eye contact. (I cheat this by looking at the corner of the mouth, ear, etc and zone in).
- When they're upset, they don't like to be comforted. (Correct)
- They don't understand emotions -- their own or others'. (Correct - i usually show how I feel through music or art - Linkin park, all that)
- They may not stretch out their arms to be picked up or guided with walking. (Only remember from about 6/7 onwards so not sure on this).
I mean that's just a few but it all starts to piece together. I've got a folder with lots of studies and papers and I've underlined or highlighted areas that are crucial to me. Also made some notes linking to my past. I had to do this with the GP and I'll have to do it with the NAS if I ever get an appointment. I don't have £3800 lying about.
Sorry quite long.
