Discussion What is Your #1 Reason for Not Wanting to Live?

[4everHeartBroken]

I know it's never just ONE reason, but it can definitely FEEL like it.

What is your #1 reason that pushes you over the top for not wanting to live anymore?

Thank you for sharing.

 

[chronicdissosiation]

im useless and a constant burden to others. i have nothing to show for the life ive lived

 

[sserafim]

I don't want to become a slave to the system. Work is modern day slavery, and I don't dream of labor. It's NEET or rope for me. I will defy society until my last breath (by refusing to contribute). I will retain my freedom and autonomy, and I'll never submit, even if it means that I have to die

 

[lacrimosa]

I'm tired... Physically and mentally exhausted.

 

[hematomatema]

Probably aromantic but desperately want a romantic relationship, as stupid of a reason as that is. No other way out with today's medicine so my best bet is just to off myself before I get to 30 and still don't have a boyfriend or husband. It's one thing to not be able to get a partner but another to be incapable of getting one your entire life...

 

[1043169]

I just don't want to be that old woman who ends up in a home getting taken advantage of. I can't stand the thought of being old.

 

[divinemistress36]

TR depression

 

[gantaigarashi]

I don't want to be a wageslave. On top of that I have so many responsibilities like financially providing for my family. I want to run away from it all.

I don't see a future slogging in a cubicle, doing something that i hate day in and out to barely afford a decent life because of my father's fucked up financial decisions and me being a lazy piece of shit to not grind and build a good life

 

[VeryShy]

Complex mental illness

 

[darkandtwisty]

I feel like my spirit is broken. I am the problem and the only solution is to remove myself from the equation.

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I feel like my spirit is broken. I am the problem and the only solution is to remove myself from the equation.

Reminds me of one of those songs that is like looking into a mirror of my soul. JXDN -Angels and Demons. I have too many demons

 

[darkandtwisty]

I'll have to give it a listen

 

[itsallogrenow]

EUPD ruining my life, can't be bothered to deal with it for however long I have to live for

 

[Dark Moon]

Depression, multiple factors caused it and autism.

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I'll have to give it a listen

I used to cry whenever I heard it. Now it is almost comforting.

 

[itsalittlecold]

My mind not allowing me to form a connection with people, whilst craving a connection. Mental health & ideation for around 15years

 

[lw1235]

being completely dead inside , no heart or soul, no conscience anymore, just existing - not feeling anything, and not being able to connect with people. my loneliness and unhappiness has driven me to this point. my zest for life is gone and i'm tired of waking up with a broken brain.

 

[danishstarlight]

i just feel like i'm not suitable for living. i force myself not to think about it too much but every time a single thought crosses my mind, i start craving not existing even more

 

[persuasion]

Don't understand why life exists. Don't understand people. Don't understand why people like life. I don't like being alive. That's the whole reason. I don't like it here.

 

[Sylveon]

There's something wrong with me, and the only way to fix it is to kill myself.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Life itself. I just don't like the way it is.

 

[lamargue]

my own degeneration and unwillingness to cooperate in a game without any significant payoff

 

[Hollowman]

being completely dead inside , no heart or soul, no conscience anymore, just existing - not feeling anything, and not being able to connect with people. my loneliness and unhappiness has driven me to this point. my zest for life is gone and i'm tired of waking up with a broken brain.

Exactly the same for me.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Life itself is too disappointing and not worth living imo. I wish that life could be like a fictional utopia but reality isn't nice unfortunately. In this life, most people are forced to work... not just to wage slave but also to maintain themselves by taking care of themselves. I find it to be too exhausting and simply not worth it. Our world is based off darwinism and survival of the fittest. This world has so much competition and suffering happening within it. Not to mention, it's always possible for me to face extreme suffering in the future due to mere chance. This is all a consequence of life itself.

Life requires so much effort just to barely survive and, on top of that, it's always possible for me to develop some sort of condition which increases my suffering to new levels. It's life itself that makes me crave death

 

[Leopard2023]

Many reasons

 

[mythofsisyphus]

Medication induced brain injury... most likely permanent anhedonia and cognitive dysfunction.

 

[feelinggloomy]

I lost my son … he was my BFF and my heart

 

[Willowherb]

The fact that my life (like everyone else) isn't gonna amount to anything.

It's the same cycle for most if not everyone : School>Job>Marriage>Kids
And then play on repeat

Thinking about the fact that I might have to endure more of this for 20-30 years makes me nauseous.

I don't think the joys of life have ever been able to erase the misery everyone is forced to go through.

All of this just feels so pointless

Why put so much effort into surviving in a world full of suffering ?

I simply don't have the drive and wil to live which some seem to have and are adamant on forcing it down your throat

 

[4everHeartBroken]

I lost my son … he was my BFF and my heart

I'm so sorry.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's the fact that I'm already 30 and have had zero dating or relationship experience. I know my reason is stupid and shallow compared to everyone else's and that also fuels my other reason for wanting to CTB which is the fact that I'm petty and evil and feel like the moral thing to do is eliminate myself because even if I did have a girlfriend I'd probably ruin her life or something.

So I guess in summary, myself is the actual cause of my need to CTB.