What hard truths have you not been able to accept?

[Ambivalent1]

For me:
1) I was most likely never going to be able to heal and live the life I wanted. Some traumas are too devastating and can't be undone.

2) I was never going to get from other people the one thing I wanted because that one thing could only have come from the parent who harmed me: unconditional acceptance and love.

3) Quitting isn't cowardice if you tried your best to overcome and failed in the process. Continuing to hold on can cause more pain than letting go.

4) Grasping at the good from the past as a means to comfort you in the present is a kind of torture that makes the present harder to live in. Time goes in one direction. You either find a way to create new good times continuously or you'll have none.

 

[cantthinkofusername]

that life doesnt have any meaning

that i cant go back

that ultimately i have to live or die

 

[Unhumanly.]

To quit pain with pain

I can't guarantee myself a fully peaceful way to exit, that it's almost hard to believe there's death that is completely painless,there must be some sort of discomfort and pain even a little

so I have to get myself used with pain, at the point I'm close to my exit, I won't care about pain anymore, I just have to quit

 

[Ambivalent1]

To quit pain with pain

I can't guarantee myself a fully peaceful way to exit, that it's almost hard to believe there's death that is completely painless,there must be some sort of discomfort and pain even a little

so I have to get myself used with pain, at the point I'm close to my exit, I won't care about pain anymore, I just have to quit

That pain and fear is the price of admission to freedom. Applies to regular deaths too.

 

[FitsTime]

Narcissism and evilness.
There are so many people that are not simple as i am, they are evil, malicious, always thinking bad. And there were people like this also in my circle of friends. Pretty and clean faces don't mean good souls and it is not so easy to discover and understand this.
Now i have my own armor and my shield, and no one is welcome inside.

 

[Shar]

that I am talentless and will never be truly good at anything

 

[ijustwishtodie]

That I will be dead without having a single irl friend or acquaintance during my entire life. That I will be dead having only neutralised my life via death instead of living in a world in which I can enjoy and be happy without suffering

 

[Praestat_Mori]

My big failure in life and that I simply had no luck after that.

 

[Ash]

That despite being brought up to believe I was intelligent, capable, talented, whatever, I'm just average. Good at lots of stuff but not great at anything. And I'd be happy with that except shutting other than excellent still feels like an outright failure, even after all these years. So whatever I do, from hobbies to work to personal life to looking after myself and my house, I never see the success, only that it could (and therefore should) be so much better. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else, but rather the ghost of the person I failed to become.

 

[Ambivalent1]

That despite being brought up to believe I was intelligent, capable, talented, whatever, I'm just average. Good at lots of stuff but not great at anything. And I'd be happy with that except shutting other than excellent still feels like an outright failure, even after all these years. So whatever I do, from hobbies to work to personal life to looking after myself and my house, I never see the success, only that it could (and therefore should) be so much better. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else, but rather the ghost of the person I failed to become.

Why is your name crossed out?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

That despite being brought up to believe I was intelligent, capable, talented, whatever, I'm just average. Good at lots of stuff but not great at anything. And I'd be happy with that except shutting other than excellent still feels like an outright failure, even after all these years. So whatever I do, from hobbies to work to personal life to looking after myself and my house, I never see the success, only that it could (and therefore should) be so much better. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else, but rather the ghost of the person I failed to become.

I wish I had average skills. In my case, my skills are all below average and are extremely abysmal

 

[Ash]

Why is your name crossed out?

It's not for me? Gremlins in the code or server, I expect. That or I woke up dead and it turns out that the afterlife just picks up where you left off

 

[Ambivalent1]

It's not for me? Gremlins in the code or server, I expect. That or I woke up dead and it turns out that the afterlife just picks up where you left off

Beetlejuice lol step outside and see if there are sandworms

 

[ResidentEvil]

The list is to long to even narrow down.
But we are not so free, as some people would like us to think that we are.
And i absolutely hate that.

 

[Unattainable666]

1. That I will be ctb due to my stupidity and bad decisions
2. That I will never be loved
3. That the people who harmed me (mentally, physically and emotionally) will get away with it

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I can't accept that I have to love myself before someone can love me because I find it quite impossible to do the former until the latter occurs.

 

[rozeske]

That I might be the problem and the reason for all that I had to go through my whole life....

 

[Shar]

I wish I had average skills. In my case, my skills are all below average and are extremely abysmal

that really sucks, but average is not enough for the competitive and ruthless world. You would eventually end up feeling like crap anyway.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

That justice isn't always forthcoming.

 

[sunsetbeach]

I can't accept the fact that I will have tinnitus for the rest of my life. I also can't accept the fact that life is just working until you're old enough to retire. And many other things... I could write an essay here. Life is shit for the most part.

 

[Ash]

I can't accept the fact that I will have tinnitus for the rest of my life. I also can't accept the fact that life is just working until you're old enough to retire. And many other things... I could write an essay here. Life is shit for the most part.

I've got tinnitus too. Commiserations

 

[silent.desperation]

Family can be toxic beyond words...and the realisation hurts like f*ck...

 

[BardBarrie]

Reality.

I've never liked this reality and do not wish to be a participant of it.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

That despite being brought up to believe I was intelligent, capable, talented, whatever, I'm just average. Good at lots of stuff but not great at anything. And I'd be happy with that except shutting other than excellent still feels like an outright failure, even after all these years. So whatever I do, from hobbies to work to personal life to looking after myself and my house, I never see the success, only that it could (and therefore should) be so much better. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else, but rather the ghost of the person I failed to become.

I fucking love being mediocre.

It's such a relief to finally be out and give myself permission to just naturally be. Much of intellect and success is socially constructed by cultural industries with the primary aim of mass accumulating wealth off the bones of a dying world.

This is just my take on it I suppose.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

that really sucks, but average is not enough for the competitive and ruthless world. You would eventually end up feeling like crap anyway.

Fair enough but, at least with average skills, I would only feel like shit during adulthood instead of childhood too as people can excel during childhood with average skills

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Grasping at the good from the past as a means to comfort you in the present is a kind of torture that makes the present harder to live in. Time goes in one direction. You either find a way to create new good times continuously or you'll have none.

Ouch this is spot on almost written to me and sums up all my missing my childhood posts but the above is unfortunately true but being chronically ill (allergic to all foods so suffering every second of every day) means I can´t make new experiences so my life can´t move forward so I find comfort in the past (nostalgia) which also is torture to me because I know I will never experience those experiences ever again nor feel that way again.

 

[strangelife]

the loss of hope for a cure from the disease and, as a result, the loss of the meaning of life

 

[sserafim]

I refuse to accept the fact that I'm the same as other people. I pride myself on my uniqueness and individuality, but at the end of the day we are more similar than we are different. I would hate to be average or mediocre, I always strive to be exceptional. My motto is: "Be the best you can be."

I also don't accept that I will eventually have to become a slave to the system in order to survive (if I don't ctb). I don't want to have to work or earn a living. Work is modern day slavery.

Reality.

I've never liked this reality and do not wish to be a participant of it.

Same. It's the worst of all possible worlds

The list is to long to even narrow down.
But we are not so free, as some people would like us to think that we are.
And i absolutely hate that.

Wdym?

That I will be dead without having a single irl friend or acquaintance during my entire life.

For me, it's that I will be dead as a virgin. I never wanted or desired relationships though. I was always focused on my studies rather than s*x and romance, and I went to a women's college, so I haven't been around guys since high school.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Ouch this is spot on almost written to me and sums up all my missing my childhood posts but the above is unfortunately true but being chronically ill (allergic to all foods so suffering every second of every day) means I can´t make new experiences so my life can´t move forward so I find comfort in the past (nostalgia) which also is torture to me because I know I will never experience those experiences ever again nor feel that way again.

Allergic to all foods? What illness is this and what do you eat?

 

[Ambivalent1]

My allergy doctor think it is a decease called Eosinophil Esophagitis (but I don´t have a official diagnosis) the decease is where your esophagus (food pipe) produces too many white blood cells when in contact with foods which makes the esophagus tighten and dry.

And I mostly eat what I want since I have no safe foods although I found out a few month ago that if I use duck grease to cook my food it is way better for my throat I don´t react much too it if at all (hard to tell when other foods are involved) I am allergic to all cooking oils so that is why I tried duck grease which they sold at Christmas time and it is tasteless so good to cook all foods in.

I had that. Flovent solves it. It's an inhaler but you swallow it after spraying instead of inhaling. Takes a few months. I have high eosinophils in my blood. Doing allergy shots for up to a year reduced it to normal but I stopped that because my symptoms were unchanged.