What do you hate the most about your parents?

[untothedepths]

Decide to bring me into this world, abuse me in many ways, get their own 'self-help' but never even acknowledge or apologize for what they did to me. All I want to hear from them is a sincere apology. I could forgive them. But one is dead and the other is living the life with nice a house bought for them, multiple cars, lots of money each month and free healthcare. And I'm just here fucked up by what they did to me, with hardly a penny to my name and my end will be brutal. They run around parading about being a bastion of mental health and an abuse victim to that degree and they are able to ignore me with a clear conscious. Maybe they should have just gave into their desires and killed me even if my body could never be found, I'd prefer it over this any day.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

There's a lot I hate. What I hate most has to be that they brought me here (regardless of their intentions).

 

[Ambivalent1]

Hurted my feelings

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

The fact that were too uneducated and naive to realize that haphazardly having many children, despite not being able to afford to, was ok.

 

[sserafim]

There's a lot I hate. What I hate most has to be that they brought me here (regardless of their intentions).

All intentions to have children are selfish. There's no reason to have children that isn't selfish

 

[JKFleck]

The fact that I have to pretend to love and have the same beliefs as them just to get them to financially support me (Aka. have them pay back the frikin debt they owe to me, not the other way around)

Outright manipulation.

 

[MiMif]

Their anger issues and narcism. They never believe they are in the wrong. My father has never once apologized to me and always pins everything on me even when it's his fault

 

[JKFleck]

Another thing I hate is sentences like "You're already X years old, you must take responsibility/ be able to do this" or variations of that,

Like lmfao mf I've been hearing these since I was like 7, wtf, OH IM ALREADY 7 I SHOULD BE ABLE TO WORK A FLL TIME JOB AND LIVE ON MY OWN

 

[Unknown21]

Everything, i hate them so much.

 

[4am]

i don't really hate anything about my parents, they're great

 

[Ambivalent1]

That they existed long enough to have progeny

 

[thot88]

It took me a long time to realize that I hated my own traits in my parents..

 

[JKFleck]

Here in Thailand some families have a tradition where when the child gets a job they'll have to pay a monthly salary to their parents otherwise you'd be labeled "ungrateful monster"

Fucking parasites

 

[casandranova29]

There's an expression, we hurt the ones we love the most.

The people that are closest to us are the ones who know how to press our buttons, trip our triggers, and their comments are the ones which pierce the deepest. It really sucks that your folks don't understand the pain they are dealing. From what you describe, they sound quite ignorant.

Have you tried creating a new family? The friends we had were our "chosen family" and helped us survive 15 years beyond our original CTB date. Either way, we'd like to erase your pain if we could. Big hugs. Be well on your journey.

By your bio, pfp and username you look like a fairly religious person. Prolly a follower of Bhagavad Geeta.
Why do want to CTB? Or is there some other reason you are on this website??

 

[cosmic_traveler]

By your bio, pfp and username you look like a fairly religious person. Prolly a follower of Bhagavad Geeta.
Why do want to CTB? Or is there some other reason you are on this website??

We are not religious. We know no deity. We enjoy sharing our ideas and faith.

We came to this site for resources, information, and community. We want to CTB for multiple reasons, if we had to name the number 1 reason, it'd be because there are at least 4 or 5 of us sharing this body and mind. It's claustrophobic in here.

 

[Endisclose]

Literally. I think that Asian culture in general encourages narcissism, especially Chinese culture. They all need to go to therapy. Chinese culture is not healthy, especially the whole Confucian and filial piety shit. It's toxic. Abuse is normalized and downplayed. I think that my parents are also like this due to inter-generational trauma. At least the vicious cycle will end with me. Yay

There's a term for it.. They call it "tiger parenting" .

 

[QueerMelancholy]

Their shitty genes. I got bipolar disorder from my mother and bad fucking skin from my father.

Win-win situation if they wanted my life to be hell. LOL

 

[davidtorez]

Their shit genes as stated above. They're dumb, uneducated , unambitious, illogical and suffering with physical and mental ailments. Fuck em for procreating

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Well for my dad, if I was to brush off the narcissism and abuse he inflicted then I'd say the thing I hate most about him is his intolerance for things that don't interest him. A lot of the things I enjoyed growing up like cartoons and video games he considered to be beneath him because he couldn't understand and they just seemed stupid to him. Unfortunately I find some of these same tendencies in myself like whenever it comes to new things I don't like so I hate myself for being like him.

My mom in comparison to my dad seems like the perfect parent but the abuse she suffered from him has left her traumatized too and she can still be stubborn in her own ways. My mom still treats me like a small child even though I'm 30 and she also likes to pile a lot of unnecessary responsibilities on me at the same time because I'm the eldest. I'd say the worst thing about my mom is she can be a bit lazy, airheaded, and hypocritical but these are also all traits I embody as well so I can't be too harsh on her.

I guess what I hate about both of them is that I seem to have only inherited their worst personality traits.

 

[sserafim]

There's a term for it.. They call it "tiger parenting" .

There's tiger parenting but there's also narcissistic parents. Most Asian parents are narcissists. My parents aren't tiger parents; they're just narcissists. It was pure narcissism, which is enabled and even encouraged in Asian culture

Asian parents be like:

Well for my dad, if I was to brush off the narcissism and abuse he inflicted then I'd say the thing I hate most about him is his intolerance for things that don't interest him. A lot of the things I enjoyed growing up like cartoons and video games he considered to be beneath him because he couldn't understand and they just seemed stupid to him. Unfortunately I find some of these same tendencies in myself like whenever it comes to new things I don't like so I hate myself for being like him.

My mom in comparison to my dad seems like the perfect parent but the abuse she suffered from him has left her traumatized too and she can still be stubborn in her own ways. My mom still treats me like a small child even though I'm 30 and she also likes to pile a lot of unnecessary responsibilities on me at the same time because I'm the eldest. I'd say the worst thing about my mom is she can be a bit lazy, airheaded, and hypocritical but these are also all traits I embody as well so I can't be too harsh on her.

I guess what I hate about both of them is that I seem to have only inherited their worst personality traits.

Anyways, I think that most if not all Asian parents have some kind of mental disorder, probably narcissism. My hot take is that Asian people should be banned from procreating so they don't perpetuate the vicious cycle of abuse. Sorry to break it to you @Dr Iron Arc

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Anyways I think that most if not all Asian parents have some kind of mental disorder, probably narcissism. My hot take is that Asian people should be banned from procreating so they don't perpetuate the vicious cycle of abuse. Sorry to break it to you @Dr Iron Arc

No no, you're absolutely right. Plus there's already too many of us in the world anyway right now.

 

[sserafim]

No no, you're absolutely right. Plus there's already too many of us in the world anyway right now.

Have you seen r/AsianParentStories? It made me realize just how inherently abusive Asian culture is. I thought that it was normal before, but it's actually abuse. All kinds of abuse are normalized. My mom told me about her neighbors when she was a kid growing up, who would beat their kids (who turned out to be successful), and she uses that as a justification for child abuse. She also says that everyone goes through it. My dad says that he should "beat me into shape." Asian parents/people say that hitting their children is a sign of affection and that scolding/criticizing their children is loving them. 打是亲，骂是爱。

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Have you seen r/AsianParentStories? It made me realize just how inherently abusive Asian culture is. I thought that it was normal before, but it's actually abuse. Physical abuse is normalized, my mom told me about her neighbors when she was a kid growing up, who would beat their kids (who turned out to be successful), and she uses that as a justification for child abuse

I would probably get emotionally triggered if I did. My dad beat me badly enough that he had the authorities called on him and his only defense was that that's just how he was raised.

I do think it's possible for some to break the cycle, or at least for some people to make it through unfazed but yeah ultimately it probably isn't worth it. Maybe this is why we both gravitate towards western partners because they at least seem more ideal for not continuing the cycle with.

 

[Silent_cries]

I'm going to be honest, I've never been abused or anything. My mom has been great tbh. There is one thing I do hate about her however, the fact that she's just trusts the system nowadays and won't fight for me to get the help I need like she used to before. I can't rly blame her though, she's probably sick and tired of my mental shit at this point. It's been like this for too long. Ik I'll be doing herna favor when I ctb.

I am sorry for those of you who has been through abuse though, it's horrible that ppl can do such things to their own children. It's not how it should be at all! There are way too many toxic cultures that has been normalized nowadays unfortunately.

 

[letsgetittogo]

Reading this thread is very interesting since I don't have parents anymore. I think I'm lucky enough that I romanticize the short time I got to spend with them; I'm mostly struggling to deal with the absence of a family tbh :p

On another note though, reading some of the trauma you've all gone through because of terrible parenting makes me think maybe I was better off with the fantasy of my parents, rather than who they actually would've been towards me.

Some of the stuff here is pretty nuts, it's crazy how much parenting can affect peoples's long term mental health for years

 

[Silent_cries]

i don't really hate anything about my parents, they're great

You ever feel bad for having great parents while everybody else in here seems to have horrible ones? Idk, I just feel like I don't deserve to be one of those who were born into a great family and that there are others who deserves it more than me. It just feels so wrong sometimes :/ I'm glad to hear you also have great parents though, by any means. No one deserves to go through abuse, no one!

 

[uzuf86]

I love my parents and they've given me everything they could to see me become successful in life. I am the only disgrace in my family and I should have never been born into this world.

 

[Endisclose]

There's tiger parenting but there's also narcissistic parents. Most Asian parents are narcissists. My parents aren't tiger parents; they're just narcissists. It was pure narcissism, which is enabled and even encouraged in Asian culture

Asian parents be like:

Anyways, I think that most if not all Asian parents have some kind of mental disorder, probably narcissism. My hot take is that Asian people should be banned from procreating so they don't perpetuate the vicious cycle of abuse. Sorry to break it to you @Dr Iron Arc

I feel really bad for you.. My parents were the exact opposite. I think they were too liberal, and gave me no discipline. "Nothing could be or was wrong with me". and "I was perfectly fine". They just kept telling themselves what they wanted to believe rather than seeing reality for what it is..

My father exhibited some narcissistic tendencies towards my mother, but never towards me. He simply is a bad listener and both my parents had very poor rational capacities.. With my condition, it was always a disaster waiting to happen. I am from Asia too.. India actually, but mine is not a typical story from these parts..Its more of fawning excess and in essence.. parental negligence.

 

[cursedbynature64]

Honestly, just that they brought me into this world in the first place. They are far from perfect, but they have to live in this same horrific reality as I do, so I do not blame them for their mistakes.

 

[4am]

You ever feel bad for having great parents while everybody else in here seems to have horrible ones? Idk, I just feel like I don't deserve to be one of those who were born into a great family and that there are others who deserves it more than me. It just feels so wrong sometimes :/ I'm glad to hear you also have great parents though, by any means. No one deserves to go through abuse, no one!

yeah, i do. i feel guilty and ungrateful whenever i read about how some parents are abusive. also feel guilty to my parents because my death will devastate them