What do you hate the most about your parents?

[sserafim]

I hate how my parents compare me to other kids and how they love to criticize me. I've never been praised before in my life, apart from a few circumstances. I hate how they downplay my achievements. Nothing I do is ever enough for them. They always want more more more and more

 

[Deleted member 8119]

Abuse, neglect, unwillingness to accept they weren't prepared for a kid, horrible raising methods, over-controlling, gaslighting and manipulative behavior, having destroyed my mental health, inflicting trauma, and deny all of this to this day.

Just to name a few.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

As much as I love my parents, I can help but hate how much my mom lacks self-awareness, their tendency to get angry easily, and the fact that they decided to have a child despite them both clearly not being ready to have one. Deciding to have a child is in of itself selfish, but deciding to have one when you clearly aren't mentally and financially ready to so is especially selfish. The best thing I can do now is learn from their mistakes and try to avoid growing up to be like them.

 

[Dayrain]

@sserafim Do they put you on one end of the spectrum as well and and the ones to which they compare you to on the other?

 

[sserafim]

@sserafim Do they put you on one end of the spectrum as well and and the ones to which they compare you to on the other?

I guess so. They always talk about how successful their colleagues' kids are. It's honestly irritating. I also hate how they're so critical of me. My mom's favorite hobby is to criticize me, and I just think that it's annoying. She loves to put me down

 

[TransientEternal]

Their ignorance.

 

[sserafim]

Their ignorance.

About what?

 

[Kawaii_Shoujo215]

As much as I love my parents, I can help but hate how much my mom lacks self-awareness, their tendency to get angry easily, and the fact that they decided to have a child despite them both clearly not being ready to have one.

Yup, lack of self-awareness, especially with regards to emotionality, is a big one for my parents. They often get blinded by emotions and become unable to discuss or see things (like CTB, among others) without lashing out or seeing me as "sick". It's frustrating because in reality having an honest and healthy conversation with transparency is what would not only help me, but would also help them widen their horizons and be able to come to terms with my decision better. But as it is, they simply are unable to listen without emotional outbursts and irrationality. Like, I just want an honest and open conversation, why do I also have to play Minesweeper with their emotions?

 

[TransientEternal]

About what?

Let's say their opinions are a bit old.

 

[Dayrain]

gaslighting

I sense that gaslighting becomes more and more of a problem.

 

[iloverachel]

I love my parents but i hate how they created me. I know they never wanted me to suffer, but now I am trapped in decades of hell unless I CTB.

 

[vadim]

I hate how my dad's an uneducated fool yet thinks he knows everything and won't allow anyone to even express a difference of opinion. You can't even express in your body language that you're in any way unhappy when talking to him. When I was a child he would occasionally hit me just because he thought I had an insolent expression on my face. I thought my facial expression was perfectly neutral, and I think the unpredictability of his temper was a big part of what made me the fucked up person I am today; conflict averse to the point of avoidance of social interaction in general and unable to express how I really feel.

I hate that my mom would always (and still does) defer to him rather than stand up to him when he was being unreasonable, despite her being the breadwinner and not him. Personally, I would never let someone emotionally terrorise me if I was the one paying the greater share of the bills. Growing up, my parents' relationship and my parents themselves came to epitomise what I never wanted for myself in my life.

 

[azad]

just for reasons why i hate humanity. its too much to list out. but the main is lack of empathy and selfishness

 

[derpyderpins]

For my mom, it's hard to identify what I hate "most." She obviously has undiagnosed mental illness, and it's certainly what fucked me up as a child, teenager, and young adult. So I guess it's her obsessive, overbearing nature that made me such a nervous, scared person. My SO had to spend time with her lately, and has started to realize just how bad it is. On one hand, that helps me feel validated, but on the other, nothing has threatened our relationship so much up until this point. I hate her for that.

For my dad . . . my SO thinks he's awesome, and he generally is, but he still let her mess me up and either didn't realize it was happening or let it happen, so I resent him for that.

---

I hate how they downplay my achievements. Nothing I do is ever enough for them. They always want more more more and more

That can be so deflating. You hear people say "don't compare yourself to others! Compare yourself to you yesterday!" If the people who are supporting you the most are encouraging you at your own pace, it's basically impossible. (which is part of why I think that advice is BS, but I get the principle.) Besides, I get the impression you are younger than me (not hard to do), and it's time to acknowledge that younger generations are facing huge challenges in life even my generation didn't have to. You've got your head on straight, are empathetic, and are doing enough to have at least some accomplishments. That should buy you some support.

 

[Dayrain]

Yup, lack of self-awareness, especially with regards to emotionality, is a big one for my parents. They often get blinded by emotions and become unable to discuss or see things (like CTB, among others) without lashing out or seeing me as "sick". It's frustrating because in reality having an honest and healthy conversation with transparency is what would not only help me, but would also help them widen their horizons and be able to come to terms with my decision better. But as it is, they simply are unable to listen without emotional outbursts and irrationality. Like, I just want an honest and open conversation, why do I also have to play Minesweeper with their emotions?

I relate to 100% here. Especially regarding the connection between emotions and irrationality.

 

[teajay1]

that they never believed me when i said i needed help :(

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I hate a couple of things about them. The thing I hate the most about them and is something I will always hate about them is how they brought me into existence instead of aborting me. It's because of them why I'm even here suffering to begin with

The first thing that I hate about them is how religious they are and how they impose their religion on me which I'm forced to abide to. The second thing I hate about them is how they always expect me to do so well and it's never enough. If I do something good, it doesn't matter but, if I mess up even slightly, they get really pissed. For example, back in college, my mum had access to my results 24/7 and, not paying attention, she thought that I went from an A* to an A in terms of predicted grades for one of my subjects. And so she started lecturing me about this, talking about how I'm doing awful. However, the A stayed an A throughout until the final exam where I actually did get an A* and of course she didn't mention the situation in where my other subjects had my predicted grades go up.

I also hate at how pro life they are as well

Something that I don't hate them for but what I wished they did was try to abide to my routine instead of disrupting me whenever I'm trying to study. Because of my executive dysfunction, I struggle to study once I get interrupted and I need to study according to my performance. But of course they don't really care when they interrupt me because "I'm your mother" is what my mother says to me.

Otherwise, I think that my parents are okay. I tend to hate the world, society and existence as a whole instead of hating my parents even if they are the main reason why I'm here to begin with

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

Getting pregnant with me a month after being married is the first thing that comes to mind, that was their first mistake of many. There's no way that was intentional as well which I'm sure you can guess makes me feel even better.

 

[tbroken]

I have to say that i don't totally hate them, but my father made mistakes(like every men) that compromised my life,I don't hate him, but i hate the fact that he still believes in things and society and always wears a f*cking smile on his face.
He does not doubt others, he always doubts himself, his friends, his family and don't think at 360 degrees.

 

[marchshift]

I forgive my parents for all the trauma they did not intentionally inflict on me. They did the best they could.
I'm sad that they passed away before I could tell them how much I love and forgive them.

 

[Malaria]

I hate that they each abused me and neglected me, and contributed greatly to why I now have BPD.

 

[divinemistress36]

That they don't help me with finding alternative ways of healing I know it sounds dumb but I've tried everything and have no energy to keep trying if they want me to stick around then they should help me with healing

 

[falling_snow]

I hate how my parents compare me to other kids and how they love to criticize me. I've never been praised before in my life, apart from a few circumstances. I hate how they downplay my achievements. Nothing I do is ever enough for them. They always want more more more and more

yeh same over here. they really need to get therapy

 

[sserafim]

yeh same over here. they really need to get therapy

Literally. I think that Asian culture in general encourages narcissism, especially Chinese culture. They all need to go to therapy. Chinese culture is not healthy, especially the whole Confucian and filial piety shit. It's toxic. Abuse is normalized and downplayed. I think that my parents are also like this due to inter-generational trauma. At least the vicious cycle will end with me. Yay

 

[xinino]

They are very nice, and generous on giving money, very supportive.

 

[losing hope]

Trust me, you don't want to grow up with Muslim parents;

Thankfully I am now & will die a proud Buddhist.

 

[deadinsidex2]

About what?

Almost everything is traced back to terrible parenting if u ever wondered abt having childhood trauma before just look back at the f ing bad nd unsupportive parenting.

 

[Aergia]

Their religious dogmatism. Though I'm not sure I hate them so much as their ideology, the principles of which virtually demand intolerance/hate/said dogmatism. But I resent them for effectively forcing me to pretend to believe, too, for most of my teen years.

 

[xinino]

just for reasons why i hate humanity. its too much to list out. but the main is lack of empathy and selfishness

I genuinely don't mind if my parents were selfish; I wish they just said no in my face, "They offered me a house that time," but my uncontrollable greed led me to throw away a lot of opportunities. I always look for more because the money pushes you to do more. I think I am developing anti-social behavior; I just don't want to adjust. I always get disgusted when I see social order.

 

[lita-lassi]

i suppose the lack of critical thinking. my mother is a codependent mess in a cult who married a pedophile, forced me to live with him and believes in ridiculous bullshit like crystals and reiki nonsense. ive been no contact for several years and she still tries to get to me through my siblings