Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Lost in a Nightmare]

I may be quitting my job soon. One of my coworkers has been taking pieces of the cleaning equipment home and lying about them being here the whole time so I can't do my job properly. I can't prove that it's happening unfortunately but I know it's happening.

If the piece of shit wants me gone so bad then congrats to him I guess. He accomplished his goal. After tonight I'm never coming back to work again.

I changed my mind and decided that for now, I will continue going to work. I just have to outsmart this piece of shit. At the very least, if I do quit, I have another job I can get right away to fill in the gap, so for now I'll keep that one in reserve. Maybe I can even do both jobs and see how they overlap.

 

[pond]

I finally texted my sister why I hate her, just not to the descriptive extent that I would like because a lot of it would be my cussing her out. Also because my resentment for her runs way too deep to explain clearly.

She apologized but of course I don't feel better. My ED will never go away. Nothing will undo the past decade of pain she caused.

I don't want to live with this pain. I don't want to live. I wish her nothing but pain and suffering as long as she's around me.

I'm so tired. I don't want to be consumed by exercise anymore. My back hurts. My knees hurt. My feet hurt. I'm not ready for the stress to come back. I can't do this all over again.

 

[violetforever]

i know it probably doesnt work like this but as someone whos underweight and has never drank or done any drug in their life i would overdose on pills with alcohol or overdose on some drug like heroin or fentanyl if it meant guaranteed death…

 

[CTB Dream]

this human awfl, all ignr me all injury damage me, all awfl me no want this awfl speces me no want exst me no want this lif

 

[CowardlyLies]

I'm conflicted I need to delay ctb again because of my friend's current mental state and his emotional attachment to me. Why is he so annoying.

 

[PimpHand]

Mix of happines and, as always, anxiety, my most beloved enemy.

 

[Lost in a Nightmare]

I'm angry at all the people who get in the way of full legalization of euthanasia for people who need it or want it. It should be freely available to everyone who wants to die, while the people who want to live get to do what they want instead. I don't get why most people who want to live automatically assume those who don't are mentally ill just because we're different.

Some days I wish I could go to war with them literally, and not just in a video game where I march armies around and pretend my priests are euthanasia doctors. If only I could liberate everyone from being oppressed by their anti-choice, forced-life slavery governments that OVER AND OVER AGAIN deny people from accessing what should be a basic human right.

 

[scordatura]

I don't know what I feel, but a huge sense of loss.

 

[JustBe]

Scared of killing myself but feeling like I'm forced to.

 

[90377lethe]

bored, empty & sad. I have no motivation to do the things I love. I should be reflecting and trying to better myself, but instead I'm spending every day wallowing and getting fucked up just so I can sleep at night.

 

[Insufficent]

Disappointemt thowards wolrd, humans and my own choises

 

[velvetmoon]

I feel depleted. Mind, body, spirit. I've been fighting it all for so long, hiding everything with jokes and smiles. I can't smile anymore. Genuinely feel like I'm all out of them now. I'm tired of not being understood, meds not working, feeling unbelievably overwhelmed, dreading everything including meals, always existing somewhere else from everyone around me, being so afraid. It's torture.

 

[violetforever]

just imagine your life if you were brave violet, which you totally arent.

 

[Spite]

Kinda just don't really feel like talking to anyone at all for the time being. I'm back to work tomorrow and I'm feeling the usual dread and misery I always feel on Sunday evenings. I wish I could isolate myself in my computer room forever, and never have to deal with people ever again.

 

[violetforever]

i mostly only function out of shame

 

[GWAI]

ragdolled

 

[waitingroom]

I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.

I feel like a black hole, empty but im waiting to be filled. even if something came, i wouldnt see it. i wouldnt feel it, i wouldnt even care to think about it. im tired, im exhausted, cant deal with the thought of getting up again tommorow. like before i die, i have many things to do. I'll know when time comes, i also have this weird feeling that something shit is gonna happen, and i hope it does. so i wont have to try and figure out how to kill myself and regret it halfway through because of a notification i got

 

[xKiraSlumberx]

I feel numb and like I want to cry. I don't want to feel this weight in my chest.

 

[CTB Dream]

this v awfl alws dtriort this lif all wrng no psbl doany losall

 

[hitagi-crab]

satisfied that i got some writing done. sort of happy i talked to an online friend although i'm a little uncomfortable with the friendship. but just generally started to feel bad and lonely, i suppose. i don't see people very often, and i don't talk to people about the heavy stuff ever. i'm talking to people on dating apps but i'm such a fucking boring texter that the conversations just peter out eventually and it feels pointless. i feel like i might become less isolated but it feels really far away sometimes. like it feels like i might never again get to the point where i can talk about the really tough things that are in the back of my mind all the time. starting to get really scared about the future again. need to start looking into school applications again. i told my dad i might be going back to school and i kind of regret it. because now i'm sure he expects it of me. and i'm scared he'll ask me to get back in touch with my mom if he helps pay for things. so i'm starting to dread the future again and that's always what makes me the most suicidal.

 

[CTB Dream]

This wrld rly awfl all thng dtriorit all awfl, ppl prtnd okok prtnd no hpnany

 

[Amara]

I feel like I'm suffocating, a lot of rage. I'm just sick of myself

 

[glitterycheese]

mostly tired and empty, had my first day at my new warehouse job and its not horrible but Im worried I wont get to have more time this Christmas with my family

 

[hitagi-crab]

i can feel myself pushing someone away that might genuinely love me and i don't really know what to do about it. she doesn't want me to rely on her too much emotionally and she has a lot of other people in her life. but i've taken that to mean that i shouldn't talk to her about my problems at all. and i end up feeling miserable. but i think a part of me is doing it to get back at her for saying that she's worried i'll rely on her too much or that she was reluctant a bit to call herself my girlfriend because she didn't want to let me down. and i feel like she didn't really want to be with me, i was just - i don't know, convenient or provided some kind of dynamic she wanted regardless of who i was. so i feel like i should refuse to tell her my real feelings now. and i think she's picking up on the fact that i'm kind of unhappy. and is trying to make space for us to be closer. but i often don't see her one on one for a couple weeks - i'll see her with other people but not just the two of us. so i feel sometimes like it's pointless to say she's my girlfriend. and i feel dumb and petty and like i'm an asshole, which i am, and i don't know what to do. i don't know. how does anyone ever figure out if a person actually loves you specifically or if they just want to make the person in front of them happy, no matter who they are? i don't understand why she loves me. why would someone love me if they could have anyone else in the world? there must be something wrong with that person.

 

[heartinparadise]

I hate life like an awful job I can't quit, and the objective truth is that my life is good, but I feel cursed regardless. I can't wait to quit this life!!

 

[Sally Face]

I just wanna be at peace in solitary

 

[turbomightbegone]

perhaps i was born to die, it's just that my cowardliness actively blocks me from my useless fate

 

[CTB Dream]

This rly awfl me no wnt sty this awfl wrld, no psbl doany no havany, this all nnsns this all endle pain sffr, rly awfl lif awfl unvrs

 

[stupid trans guy]

I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.

Ngl im not really sure, i just feel like a zombie my friend caught the bus a week ago now and i wish i could join her, i loved her sm

 

[BlendedHeart]

I think this is the longest I've been touch starved in my life. It's painful, it's angering, it's depressing. The older you get, the harder is to make new contacts and to meet new people. Wish I could stop all the feelings and embrace nothingness once and for all.