Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[westerly_merlin]

Feeling adrift and unloved. Home life is a mess and at work there are political games being played at a senior level and they are ripping into me area. I am not good and reading situations where people are sabotaging others for thier own reasons.

I feel lost and overwhelmed

 

[BlendedHeart]

I use to pass the time doing things until it was time to sleep, but that isn't working anymore. Time is going slower somehow. Loneliness and pain are getting more intense.

Wish I could sleep forever.

 

[The Hermit]

Relieved that my dad did not bring B. over here tonight. So at least we have some semblance of peace.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Feeling adrift and unloved. Home life is a mess and at work there are political games being played at a senior level and they are ripping into me area. I am not good and reading situations where people are sabotaging others for thier own reasons.

I feel lost and overwhelmed

People shouldn't be sabotaging others in a workplace, and I think most people might find it hard to read the most cunning saboteurs.

I wonder if one might consider changing over to a different workplace.

 

[westerly_merlin]

People shouldn't be sabotaging others in a workplace, and I think most people might find it hard to read the most cunning saboteurs.

I wonder if one might consider changing over to a different workplace.

Easier said than done at my age. I am 58 and not sure if I am ready to up sticks and start again.

Plus in my past I have worked at some really toxic companies that encourage that sort of behaviour as they think it encourages employees to perform better.

Where I am things are not as bad as most other companies, i am probably better off sticking it out for the time being in the hope that things get better.

 

[EmptyBottle]

feeling nice, cool nap too.

Spoiler: dream log entry

Slept from around 8:30pm to 10:30pm, temp reasonable with light clothes and medium blanket, 21C?, 20C. Logged from around 11:30pm to 11:35pm.
Scene of using discord in dark mode, %rf% user was wanting to bypass %pf% or similar age restrictions.
Unpacked grey bag, and in side pockets, found green dice with black numbers, and potentially 3d printed curves, some orange block maybe, and other items. May have rolled dice. "Woke" to %s watching %d cooking beef on stove, and talking.

 

[Dejected 55]

Fucking miserable. I didn't want to get out of bed today, but I did anyway. I'll probably eat soon because I bought food and should eat it. I don't enjoy eating anymore, it's just a thing I do to pass time really. Food mostly tastes bland now to me. Everything seems just a little worse every day. All the shoes are going to be falling soon, the last of the rugs will be pulled out, and the ground will start crumbling beneath me.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

I was alive under the expectation that I would fulfill the planned path, but as I deviate farther from that path, I feel as if my time is coming to an end. If I can't reach my destination, then I'm of no use living. As I sleep and wake up, getting farther and farther away from my destination, I feel my time on this earth is coming to an end. I am sad about this, but I know it to be inevitable. Soon, I will be discarded of because a machine has no need for faulty parts.

 

[dead dav]

Exhausted I don't know why I keep struggling

 

[famouslastwords]

Really empty like i don't feel anything but at the same time full of all emotions at once. I don't really know what's wrong and I don't want to know. I'm pissed at myself but also i pity myself. I care but also I don't. I just don't know. Confusion.

 

[battwinfntsy]

nothing I think. I feel so hollow that it's surprising I have a heartbeat. I haven't left my house in days. I don't want anyone to see me yet I crave connection. this all feels like one big waste, like if this is all I have to look forward to at the end of the day then what is the point of waking up tmrw.

the only thing keeping me going is my partner and my dog, mostly my dog because I don't think my partner will keep her if I go away.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Feeling relaxed, tho kinda want to do a bit more.

 

[Irisse]

I'm getting paranoid again. We have to install some stupid app for University and I did it all wrong because it said that my account is rejected after I did all the steps that the instructions said to do. I'm worried that other students and professors will be able to see my browser history. I don't do anything illegal or nsfw but it's still uncomfortable to think that they might have access to that.

 

[EmptyBottle]

I'm getting paranoid again. We have to install some stupid app for University and I did it all wrong because it said that my account is rejected after I did all the steps that the instructions said to do. I'm worried that other students and professors will be able to see my browser history. I don't do anything illegal or nsfw but it's still uncomfortable to think that they might have access to that.

not sure... tho still, browser history can be sensitive... an openstreetmap url within mine has my coordinates, and SaSu posts with random stuff I said in Private forums have their titles listed.... so one can link my CTB attempt post with my address... scary.

Check the permissions, mobile apps shouldn't be able to access browser history, screen capture, etc without permission... tho Desktop apps probably can, unless one uses non standard browser config (and the app doesn't take screenshots)

The students almost certainly won't have access to each others history... maybe ask for the privacy policy to see what the app collects. If it is Okta... then it doesn't collect much (IP address, device version, root status), it is basically 2FA codes.

 

[x3la]

The straw that broke the camels back showed up last sunday, and now im only focused on making preparations for when im gone.

 

[Irisse]

not sure... tho still, browser history can be sensitive... an openstreetmap url within mine has my coordinates, and SaSu posts with random stuff I said in Private forums have their titles listed.... so one can link my CTB attempt post with my address... scary.

Check the permissions, mobile apps shouldn't be able to access browser history, screen capture, etc without permission... tho Desktop apps probably can, unless one uses non standard browser config (and the app doesn't take screenshots)

The students almost certainly won't have access to each others history... maybe ask for the privacy policy to see what the app collects. If it is Okta... then it doesn't collect much (IP address, device version, root status), it is basically 2FA codes.

Hey, thank you so much for replying. I'll try to do that. Basically the app is for multiple factor authentification and it's supposed to keep our student account safe (in my country we have a MS Office based platform specifically for students). I think at one point it did say something about collecting data but I had to approve anyway, otherwise I couldn't install it. The app is on my phone so I guess that's safer than desktop. Turns out I did install it correctly ( at one point it said that the account is rejected but the app itself works just fine). Thank you again so much for help!

 

[EmptyBottle]

Hey, thank you so much for replying. I'll try to do that. Basically the app is for multiple factor authentification and it's supposed to keep our student account safe (in my country we have a MS Office based platform specifically for students). I think at one point it did say something about collecting data but I had to approve anyway, otherwise I couldn't install it. The app is on my phone so I guess that's safer than desktop. Turns out I did install it correctly ( at one point it said that the account is rejected but the app itself works just fine). Thank you again so much for help!

no worries... and mfa apps don't usually monitor sensitive stuff, whether it be Google/Microsoft Authenticator, Authy, Okta, etc.

 

[guestguest360]

I just feel like a completely broken person that can't be fixed.

 

[Lullaby]

crap, someone harrassed u here?

Yup, a couple of months ago. But I've been trying to give him some grace because I know we're all dealing with our own problems and trauma on here, so I guess it just comes out in different ways.

I struggle responding to people on time because I'm honestly just way too down most days to socialize. I feel like I'm doing others a favor (I had an old friend who would call me Eeyore because I vented a lot), but maybe it projects differently?

It sounds stupid but despite everything he said to me, I hope he's doing alright.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

Stressed because I have the dentist tomorrow. Otherwise crap.

 

[hartodemisalud]

I'm in pain and fed up with my broken body.

 

[EmptyBottle]

I feel a bit embarassed for not thinking as much as before when posting... probably need to imagine the potential replies, and edit so it sounds better before sending.

I feel a bit dumb for potentially putting others at risk with my own typing... hopefully lives weren't lost that wouldn't have gone had I not typed some info... and hopefully the inverse happened at least once.

 

[dissociation]

I think it's better if I just stay quiet.

 

[heywey]

I think it's better if I just stay quiet.

I'd like to hear some of what you're keeping inside, if that's alright; I get the impression you have a lot of worthwhile things to say. No pressure if you don't want to though, either way I wish the best for you.

 

[dissociation]

I'd like to hear some of what you're keeping inside, if that's alright; I get the impression you have a lot of worthwhile things to say. No pressure if you don't want to though, either way I wish the best for you.

I'm just a very sad person who constantly thinks about CTBing.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

Vigilant

 

[shampoo sniffer]

Currently thinking about the future and strongly wanting to CTB

 

[dissociation]

I'm so tired that I just want to lie in my bed and sleep.

 

[dissociation]

I'm exhausted because I'm sick, and I hope that drinking tea will make me feel better.

 

[EmptyBottle]

I'm exhausted because I'm sick, and I hope that drinking tea will make me feel better.

I had tea too, hours ago.. was nice.

I feel mostly relaxed, happy I tidied my room a bit... and that some home made pizza was tasty, and a bit disappointed that irl can sometimes be rather annoying.