I'm so tired. I don't want to go through so many interviews and doing free work for people just to get rejected and not have a job. I want some professional and financial stability. I can afford to live for now but I don't know how I'll afford to live once I stop receiving my parents support. More so the support from my step-dad's job, and next year they won't be able to support me anymore regardless of what my parents want.
I want my pain to stop. I think I might've gotten a brain aneurysm or something, I'll know what when I can go back home and see my neurologist, I just know that after so many days of not sleeping, eating, or taking care of myself I got a bump in the area I have a benign tumor in my head. I don't regret it though, I was very productive so I'm just glad I could finish some important stuff before it became too painful to keep functioning. It can't be seen unless you look at me from an angle and no one looks at me so I don't have to hide it or anything but it hurts so much. It's just constant pain, it's making everything harder to do, I was supposed to do some work today for someone to see if they can connect me with other people but I just couldn't think at all, I just sat in my chair most of the day in pain. I don't know what I'm going to say to them, but I have to apologize and catch up on my work soon somehow.
I'm just so tired, I want to rest and stop being in pain. I don't care about happiness or fulfilling certain goals, at least not being in pain, that's all I want. I want to keep living somehow for those people who are close to me (for some reason), but it's just so difficult.