i love it when people just prove me right while trying to argue that im not.
"shrooms are good for everyone youre just not ready to change"
see...now thats really funny because all my shroom trips showed me was that human beings f'en suck and therye always going to suck and the only way to escape the life long bullshit is to kill myself... and youre sitting here arguing with me that shrooms are good for everyone, only proving my point that humans suck because no one ever thinks about individuality. no i didnt have those physical reactions because of the shrooms, i had the physical reactions because i have chest problems, an eating disorder ect. see how individuality works?
youre gonna tell the person thats literally been abused every single day of life that they have to change?? fucking please XD XD learn how to open your eyes
"youre just not ready to change" thats really really funny, because it didnt even tell me to change. it just enhanced everything i already knew. whats that say about your trips XD XD XD maybe you should have another one. i dont think youre done changing.
another night of shitty sleep...
and i didnt even try to stop him this time... partially because im tired of it.. partially cuz i was drunk..not in a mentally out of it way, but physically. somehow my brain still works but my body becomes mostly useless XD
my bf wants to be with me but my life sucks and now hes depressed and suicidal... i cant keep my life away from him so hes ok and be with him at the same time....
at least its finally the 8th i guess.. we* can call my doc later about my disability $ paperwork and new psych... although i doubt it will make a difference. ive improved a lot... but that improvement doesnt matter if other people are just going to keep hurting and rejecting me... "be happy and love yourself".. again, prove my point. im not disagreeing about loving yourself but... all youre saying is be happy with living alone...thats just....do you people listen to yourself!!!?
i hate seeing families together,, friends hanging out... past all the hurt im the nicest person you could know.. ive literally taken my jacket off for people (my cats and my little brother), ive bought a homeless person a sandwich and stuff... i took my "friend" in last second when she said she was being abused...
what the hell did i do.....


and then all people see is the hurt because thats all i am now... so i get judged for being abused.. yeah..that makes me feel better... why should i even want this useless planet...
(we* i have to get my exhus to call because extreme social anxiety/agoraphobia. hmm... i wonder why i have that??

)
(where the hell are these paragraphs when im writing my threads)