Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[kazewoatsumete]

The attachment wound has been ripped wide open once again, and I can't believe I tried to heal it by trying to get attached to another person. I feel sick to my stomach. I would really rather leave this world before I perpetuate the futile cycle of trying to love or be loved; to find comfort in others.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So tired..... So exhausted. Why??? Should I be forced to exist??? Just in misery.

 

[ikadasui]

Useless, apathy and dread. Crave the grave

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Jingle bells
I'm in hell
Every Fu*kin Day

 

[Zegers]

Desolate.
I don't feel like talking to anyone.
I don't feel like doing anything.
I have barely energy.

 

[bye-bye-pancakes]

a bit of disgust at how impulsive I am all of the time (thinking about that), empty, but also strangely at peace at the same time? they are not balancing each other out right though so now I just feel like I'm being stretched in different directions. Blaming it on being sick recently combined with sleep deprivation and not being in the right state of mind since.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I don't want to get better.

 

[Rairii]

Anxiety is so bad. I keep deleting everything I post anywhere because I feel like anything I say is worthless and that everyone hates me, finds me annoying, thinks that I'm stupid and wants me to go away. I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling so "little." I'm no different than how I was when I was younger, always trying to hide, never allowing myself to speak even though I so desperately wanted to. I hate saying I hate myself but sometimes I really feel that I do. I wish I could hold myself and cry. I just want to be enough

 

[Rocinante]

I am a living failure

 

[outatime_85]

Most of the time, when I am staring out the window or at the walls, I am just trying to make sense of what and who I am, trying to understand what I see staring back at me as well as the noise in my head.

During these moments as well as at night, this noise is the strongest.

Even with the noise being intrusive and occurring every day, I just sit with the noise; after all, there is no escaping it, and every day I try to think of a way to turn the volume down.

 

[savoytruffle]

empty nothing emptiness

 

[Huntfish34]

Lost...... Completely and utterly Fckn lost. Was going to blow my brains out yesterday but saw a cousin of mine and had a really good talk so I chose not to do it... Now I just want to die again, I Really don't know what I'm doing anymore. Fuckk.. Idk? I don't care.. Maybe I can finally pull the trigger today and wipe myself off the Face of this forsaken damn planet.. I love you guys.. FML. -

 

[Rocinante]

Bullied on this forum

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

I feel lonely and empty and useless I feel guilty for breathing I'm such a waste of space

 

[Rainy_days]

Dread of the future, anger at the futility of all I do. Fear, fear, fear.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Misery...
Trying to catch up on the music threads. Things I should be doing, don't have the energy. Want to rest forever.
Dreading the new year. Same shit as every other year before it. Thought I would be looooong gone by now.

 

[Rairii]

I don't want to hurt anymore.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

Life is meaningless. It is a prison. And suicide is always justified no matter what. I don't have to prove to anyone about my decision. I hate this life to my core. It is a gamble and a prison which I never truly asked for. If there is god or some sentient type higher power then it has to be truly psychopathic.

 

[MellowAvenue]

I've been feeling more… Hopeful lately. I've been kicking ass since returning to my old job and despite hitting a bit of a rock bottom during the holidays my support network actually came through and pulled me out of it, which gave me more real hope for the future than I've had in a long time. It feels weird just typing it. I'm hoping 2023 is the year where I can finally be happy and content with where I am in life by the end of the year. I don't think pain ever really goes away though, so we'll see.

 

[outatime_85]

my support network actually came through and pulled me out of it

That is a good thing to have, and I am glad to hear they were there for you.

 

[Zegers]

Fatigued.

 

[aforestfire]

annoyed, i want to cut myself into little pieces.

 

[http-410]

Autopilot maneuvers me through the holidays. Everything passes me by, the whole time I thought it was already Sunday. A fake smile here, a trivial conversation with neighbors there, while everything left inside me just wants to break out from behind the thick pane of glass. Tonight it will be another effort to keep up the facade. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep it up, but I can already feel that it's starting to crack. Fortunately, it is already dark. I hope I won't run into too many people.

I feel like a failure for still being here. Next year already feels like an impossible obstacle to overcome. It's not getting any better, but I'm finishing what I started.

Just this past week, it all came together again - the pain, the hopelessness, the thoughts that keep me awake, everything.

I feel so irrelevant it's unbearable. I wish I could just dissolve into nothingness.

 

[lastride_1]

Confused, sad, hopeless and tired.

 

[delinatiff]

Regretful mostly, tired and sad

 

[glowstick bones]

I somehow feel both completely numb, and really overwhelmed by everything at the same time. Like there's this suffocating pressure, but in a spacey, disconnected way if that makes sense. Also really fucking hungry lol

 

[GasMonkey]

Immense frustration.

But I have reached a level of understanding of genetic determinism that has freed me from any regret/remorse/guilt.
Everything that has happened had to happen, it couldn't be any other way.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

I am feeling lost empty sad broken idk how to cope with what has happened over the last few months why I'm still here why I failed at taking myself out how can I just be at peace with my child

 

[Exact Change]

Anger. I want to hurt someone. I have a violent past and have done some very regrettable things. There are times that I hate society so much I fear my thoughts becoming actions.

 

[leaf23]

I'm so tired of living. I wish I wasn't so easily triggered that I feel like a naked nerve ending. It's so hard rationalizing feelings into peace and stability that I just lapse into sadness and fatigue