Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[ahimsa]

I feel tired, I have bad headaches and my brain feels foggy. There is a huge weight on my chest. I am just so fucking tired all the time

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

Maybe I have value? I'm a failure. A valuable failure.

 

[Emma.D]

Sneezy

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

Increasingly I feel like I'm already dead. I don't live, I just exist.

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

This is how it ends... Not with a bang, but a whimper.

 

[esthe]

Tired and overwhelmed, I can't bring myself to study or do anything else as I keep on feeling like a total failure.
I tried to open up a little and made friends with some people, bonded with them and had a surprisingly great week after I don't know how many months, only for them to disappear without notice and act like I don't exist at all, since in the end I am and will always be an option.

 

[ANTALWOODA]

I feel like i wanna vomit, drinking and it's only 12pm , listening to music feels good, i hate my existence, i wanna die so bad, i can't stop smoking cigarettes literally every 5 minutes, fuck my lungs or health i just wanna die

 

[ares0027]

Sad, alone, anxious, hurting, desperate, anxious, forced, did i mention anxious?

 

[stillunemployed]

my brain is just filled with regrets now. nothing but burned bridges
i could've talked to people, persons, anyone. not just the same assholes over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
now i, not human anymore and i have no future

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Haunted from mistakes in the past. From when life used to be good. Those times will never come back.
Makes me even more sad and depressed. Just killing time until I can find the strength to CTB.
Existence is pointless and severely overrated. I'm not telling anyone what to do with their life, but I don't want to be here anymore.

 

[outatime_85]

Life is predicated on luck; if one is born and hits pay dirt with k-dirt at birth, then one finds out how much the game is rigged in their favor, and sure, that person may struggle, but the outcome is usually not the same as someone who doesn't hit pay dirt.

But this requires the individual to win the first part of the game, which not many do.

Should one not win the first part, that is alright; the game will still show you how rigged it is, and the struggle will be different than your counterpart's.

In the end, without winning the first part of the game, it is nearly impossible for most people to win the game of life in a reasonable amount of time.

Sorry for the rambling.

 

[suicidalloser]

Dread

 

[weirdfishes]

im not living, just existing and waiting for something to make me feel human again

 

[meowzerwowzer33]

just.. tired all the time. everything I try to do just saps me of all my energy, and it takes days to recharge but even then I feel like I never fully do. I feel like I could very well just fade away. Part of me is also frustrated at myself, but at the same time I simply don't care all that much.

 

[CTB Dream]

Rly want disapre this life no mean no thi h only Stat sffr this all awfl , pain sffr loop all life cncpt awfl

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So many emotions. Anxiety, Fear, Dread.... So exhausted. No friends. You would think they could at least text sometimes. I always have to text first. Sometimes I get a reply. You would think that the one friend that knows I want to die would check in.
Always in constant fear... About my car, my job...
This never ends. And I haven't the courage to end it yet.
I hate life !!!

 

[deleted442]

Annoyed that the belt I have around my neck didn't make me pass out. I shall have another drink and try again.

 

[suicidalloser]

Burden

 

[leaf23]

One of the soul-destroying things about depression for me is my inability to do even the simplest, most basic tasks. Like eating, for example. My stomach is grumbling for hunger but I can't eat, and have 0 desire to do so. My mouth feels blah, like my taste buds have died. I tell myself to take it easy and try some bland thing like toast but just the thought of placing food in my mouth and chewing makes me feel like throwing up. Eating is the most basic thing for any living thing and I'm failing in it. I'd throw this vent to the faces of those mouthing platitudes or casually slapping you with critiques but I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. I've been spiralling down these past weeks and I'm too exhausted for anything.

 

[reaching_zer0]

This is probably my last month on earth, I hope i will finally find peace and the strength to do the big jump. I give my strength to all of u, even if it's a little

 

[bijou]

met some distant relatives today and they were so nice to me, also had a job interview that i think went really well! i hope i can get the job to save up more for when i go back to school. overall today has been better than most others!

 

[guywiththehair]

I feel disconnected. Like nothing is really happening to me and I don't matter. So like I usually do basically.

 

[Centende]

im back on santiconed suicide i need to get a new therapist that doesnt suck and when they try to ask me them stupid fucking do u have a plan to kill yourself i need to tell them how stupid and idiotic they are being reading from their fucking required script again and if they have a problem with that i need to go find a diffrent therpaist to fix fucking mental health but instead i do the lies to make things run smooooooothly

 

[LittleJem]

suicidal thoughts plus insomnia

 

[suicidalloser]

im back on santiconed suicide i need to get a new therapist that doesnt suck and when they try to ask me them stupid fucking do u have a plan to kill yourself i need to tell them how stupid and idiotic they are being reading from their fucking required script again and if they have a problem with that i need to go find a diffrent therpaist to fix fucking mental health but instead i do the lies to make things run smooooooothly

even i found one that would validate and acknowledge my chronic suicidal pain, suggesting I seek MAID when available.

 

[alonely]

i am completely crushed today. it is a very hard day for me. i want it to end, i want to die. i can't go on like this.

 

[suicidalloser]

Stressed and more suicidal because of recent rant thread.

 

[alonely]

i'm not sure the word for it, shocked? sobered?

Spoiler: reason might be a bit intense for the off topic section idk

accidently stumbled across some images of the death scenes of people who had succeeded with my top chosen method, while i was doing more research on some specifics

it caught me by surprise and definitely triggered something in me that i haven't felt yet from my recent fixation on wanting to CTB. maybe this is what SI feels like, idk

 

[blitz]

Disconnected.

 

[Zegers]

Distress 24/7