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t0rch

t0rch

too much
Mar 29, 2023
24
mould is growing from my inside. I'm fantasising of someone who I care and respect kill me. They would approach me and say to me in a soft tone "it's alright now, I'll make it all go away". Then they would grip both of their hands around my neck tighter and tighter until I see the world begin to spin. I would stop knowing then,
 
L

leaf23

Specialist
Dec 12, 2020
335
Scared.
Scared about going out of the house and encountering people. Was so hurt by people I'm so scared of everyone now and am in this tense state of anticipating anyone hurting me more. I hate that my trust in people is seemingly irrevocably damaged and I hate myself for allowing them to change me into this
 
Zegers

Zegers

Misfit
Dec 15, 2021
1,762
Reading, watch shows, going out sometimes, but everything feels like a bloody chore! it's not pleasant, it's like being in a boring class and looking at the clock to get out, every day is a knot of anxiety, distress, gloom, woe, agony, desolation, sadness, loneliness, It's as if your peace of mind has been sucked out of you, i used to have oxycontin and at least i didn't feel the discomfort all the time.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
7,967
Should be sleeping but I can't. Should be dead but I can't. Life has no meaning. It's all a lie.
Thrust into this world with no choice. Limited options. If you aren't successfull, you are shamed for needing help.
A world controlled by prolifers. Shamed for wanting to die. Endless misery. I want off this shitty ride.
 
theocean

theocean

Member
Mar 30, 2023
9
The most beautiful dichotomy of despair and hope. I joined this site last night at one of the lowest points mentally I've ever been. And yet, I found the courage to create an account here and take my chances instead of fantasizing. I have all these elaborate realities in my head, dreams I'll never achieve and things I'll never do. But there's just one thing I know that I will do, and in that abyss I found myself last night, I found the resolve and courage to decide to make it happen instead of dreaming about it. I feel free! I wont let the bus be imaginary, and I'm going to find my way to catch it... and if I make friends here along the way, that's all the better!
 
valkyrie

valkyrie

Member
Feb 11, 2023
84
gjfjgfjfjlkfdjlkfdjlkgfdjljldjldjlkgdjlkgdjlgdjlkjldfldjlk i dont feelgoodidontfeelgoodidontfeelgoodidontfeelgoodidontfeelgoodgoodgoodpleaseimsorryididntmeantoimsorryimsorryididntmeantomessupagainiwasdoingsowelliwasdoingsogoodiwasdoingsogoodwtfiswrongwithmewhyamilikethis
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
7,967
Tired, should be in bed but I'm afraid to go to bed to early. Trying to think of something to post in the music threads.
 
hungry_ghost

hungry_ghost

جهاد
Feb 21, 2022
517
After years of "dormancy", I'm having a new flair up of health concerns, primarily with my intestines.

For all I know, other organs in my pelvic region could currently be out of place.

I swear to fucking god my life is nothing but regret.

I want to die, then I don't, then I do.

I live with a progenitor that hates me, always has, and has zero empathy for me, yet showers his non-bio child with the love and affection I was deprived of my entire life.

I can't fucking do this anymore.

10 fucking years has passed, and nothing has changed.

I should have died a long time ago.
 
bonez22

bonez22

Wish you all the best
Mar 31, 2023
8
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
Wanting to be held but from a distance. I have the overwhelming feeling of wanting comfort but only end up pushing that comfort away. Fighting with my boyfriend everyday is so exhausting. I just want it all to stop..
 

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