Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[wesv]

I just want to die.

 

[sigil_sara]

Numb

 

[narval]

I'm drunk. I hate me. I despise this world. I despise me. I wish i had something or someone who can bring me hope. But that is inexistent right now. How i can reach tomorrow if theres not tomorrow?

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Tired. Literally.

 

[SeeminglyFine]

Like im fighting tiredness cuz if i go to sleep then il also wake up, and my thoughts are faster and more relentless at daytime, dont wanna wake up.
Also feeling like im browsing this site and typing compulsively for no purpose.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I long for the tranquility that God once gave me. But I've become resentful ever since I found out about the crap done using that name.

 

[Zegers]

I didn't know that to be able to get a handgun in this country you have to be a sniper, you need to do a course, a theoric exam, headset hearing protection, shooting several times at a target at long range, I'm sorry but i just want to blow my head off.

 

[CTB Dream]

Hard dosny all time prob come wat do not know next, no motiv this injury damage add depress anhedon many other _ ppl see 10ep me 1ep, game take 10h me 20h ,time move slow be more

 

[Chemical Animal]

Drowsiness and emptiness. Basically what I feel most of the time...

 

[krxbs]

alert. revisited something that happened recently and it brought me back to that same mindset. feeling so very isolated; it's a disgusting aftertaste, what remains after you've been betrayed and you think of trusting people again.

 

[Comfydant]

my head is pulsing, my eyes are weighing into my skull, and i feel numb, as usual. it was already dark by the time i rolled out of bed, so i didn't get to go for a walk as i had hoped. i played pony town for a while. life goes on. i wish it didn't.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Someone on Reddit said (not to me, but to someone else) "a life full of challenges is very stimulating." Sure, I've had it pretty easy in life, but I've had enough challenges. Someone blow my fucking brains out already.

 

[emptybox]

There's always something even more terrible that's going to happen very soon for sure, so I'm waiting anxiously, I'm nauseous and tired, and annoyed, I feel trapped, helpless and hopeless, but it's also so numb it doesn't actually feel like anything. So I had to think even though it's against the "rules"

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Hahaha- Lyft and Uber are eating up all of my money! But that's how it goes when you were -idk- hit by a fucking car and are now scared to drive.

Shit, maybe I should've died then - Darwinism be damned!

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I'm taking too long; should I just move on to the recovery board now? I don't want to begin flip-flopping.

 

[thx1138]

Anxious. My heart hurts and stings like it's made of acid. The pain spreads to my stomach and GI tract. I want to run, but there's no where to run to. I want to grip, to dive inside hot water, to disappear. Fight or flight mode for the last 2 months.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I can't stop crying. It feels like the first time in awhile I've cried as much as I have, I remember crying a lot the beginning of last month and then I felt numb and now I'm back to crying.
Keep trying to reassure myself that if I committed suicide that my family members will pull through because they're strong people. They are strong people for sure, resilient people. If I died they will be sad, but they can pull through because of their bond in each other, because of their religious faith, and because of the community they're in. But I still can't actually push myself into going through with it. The world is so ugly. The people in this world have ugly souls including myself, I can be such a truly wretched person. I just want to sleep.

 

[CTB Dream]

Feel no want do say any, all place awful human even here

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

My life is a big dark joke. I wish I had somebody to talk to, to make it less miserable even for a day.

 

[rationaltake]

I can't stop crying. It feels like the first time in awhile I've cried as much as I have, I remember crying a lot the beginning of last month and then I felt numb and now I'm back to crying.
Keep trying to reassure myself that if I committed suicide that my family members will pull through because they're strong people. They are strong people for sure, resilient people. If I died they will be sad, but they can pull through because of their bond in each other, because of their religious faith, and because of the community they're in. But I still can't actually push myself into going through with it. The world is so ugly. The people in this world have ugly souls including myself, I can be such a truly wretched person. I just want to sleep.

I'm sad reading your post. I was wondering how you are. I hope there's something that will comfort you in your life.

 

[ilovecats]

Lost. I don't know what I'm feeling and what I am supposed to feel. I'm completely out of touch with myself.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I'm sad reading your post. I was wondering how you are. I hope there's something that will comfort you in your life.

I can pull through. It's not that bad. Mind after midnight was what compelled me to write that post. I'm okay now. I'm sorry for worrying you.

 

[rationaltake]

I can pull through. It's not that bad. Mind after midnight was what compelled me to write that post. I'm okay now. I'm sorry for worrying you.

I understand. I hope it helps explaining how you feel on here. I wouldn't want to inhibit you. I think a lot of people are worse in the dark of the night.

 

[qiuyu]

my back hurt and i am cold

 

[angelfeather]

I just want this pain to end. I really can't go on much longer feeling this way.

 

[littlelungs]

The fact that there are people who were generally happy and not already completely fucked up as a child is so foreign to me. The fact that there are people who are not in constant pain, who genuinely enjoy being alive... is so hard for me to wrap my head around, because I've never actually experienced any of that for myself.

I don't "let" my pain rule my life. It just fucking does, whether I like it or not. (For the record, I don't.) 20+ years of countless different types of therapy and medication hasn't done fuck all. The damage has long since been done. It's too late.

And then I find myself crying in the middle of the night over the fact that I cannot get rid of the confused, traumatized, terrified child that is stuck within me. I can't get rid of her. I can't escape from this. Not in this life.

I feel so broken.

 

[CTB Dream]

Injury damage story complicat no able tell any keep say no able say same reply endle, vry vry hard long story not one word

 

[littlelungs]

The spinal pain is particularly unbearable today. I feel like I've been shot right in the L5 and then had the absolute shit beaten out of it with a baseball bat, and then got hit by a train. I can't walk or stand properly and I have to contort my body when I do have to get up for whatever reason, which puts my body under even more strain because it's trying to compensate for everything, even when I use a cane. Just rolling over in bed makes me cry because of how agonizingly painful it is. I have a pretty high pain tolerance by now because I've been living with chronic pain for so long, but these flare-ups are beyond description.

I've taken extra of both my prescription pain meds and paracetamol and praying to whoever the fuck will listen to at least help take the edge off. I'm so sick of this existence.

 

[speck]

i want to die and i want to be erased and i've had nothing but arguments and belittlements for 4 days. i cant get my head above water. i can't leave because i want something that cant ever happen to happen. when someone who has beaten you down tells you that they deserve to be happy, it makes you feel insane. i have to go on a business trip and i can't get this fight resolved- i put all of my shit into garbage bags and put it in the closet. that way when i get home, i can just start following through with my plan to go away forever and he can just throw all my shit straight into the garbage. now that everything is in bags, i start feeling ilke maybe it is all my fault and i deserve everything that is happening to me. i deserve to go into the garbage.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I'm not sure if I'm continuously being exploited emotionally or not. I feel uncertain and confused all the time.

Due to my confusion, I might need to end things.