Discussion What age did you wish you had ctb?

[HappyEnding]

When I was in middle school (forgot the age), My anxiety was so bad, I couldn't concentrate on my studies and my grades were poor. My mother yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. i thought of slitting my wrists but I was too scared to do it.

 

[lululoo]

First wanted to at age 14. There are some things I got to experience after that that I'm glad I did. So it's hard to say when I should have done it. Maybe 18 or else 23. For sure by 29, every year since then has been a complete joke. I'm 36 now. If it meant not having to be alive now, I'd without a doubt go with age 14! Nothing has been that great since and there has been so much pain.

 

[seekingoblivion]

Dying in the womb would have been ideal

Exactly!! The umbilical cord was right there I just needed to wrap it round my neck but NOOOO. I was stupid enough to try and give life a chance.

 

[bluesleep]

In retrospect if I had died at 11 I wouldn't have missed much. Everything after that has been a waste of time.

 

[Xaphous]

As soon as the umbilical cord was cut would have been great but to be realistic around 15.

 

[Superfluous]

Do you ever think we need a special section of sanctionedsuicide for those of us who have such dark outlooks so we don't bother the others?

Absolutely not. We are all here to help and support each other, whatever your individual situation may be. Never think you are 'bothering' others.

*Apologies for replying so late to an old post, but I've only just noticed this thread

 

[JohnUK]

From when I first became suicidal at 20 . 32 now and it's been quite a few painful years

 

[Volomori83]

First thoughts and attempt at 9. 19 should've been it but lacked the courage I had at 9. In my mid-thirties now.

 

[littlepillbox]

9. That's the age I first wanted to die. I wish I had done it then, so I did not have to see how shit I am now.
Also, as a kid, I'll be more ignorant, so I won't have the fear of failure.

same. my first real attempt was 11-12. i don't totally regret that i lived because i've had some cool experiences in the following 12 years, but i've also had an incredible amount of failures that make me think i've definitely overstayed my welcome in this plane of existence.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I wish I killed myself when I was 14.

 

[Lady black]

I wish it would have worked when I was 20

 

[Help_Me]

I was 16 when started thinking of suicide for the very first time.

 

[crea_the_hopeless]

I had my first suicidal thought at age 7. Pretty much knowing then how much of mistake and waste of space I was, I always feared growing up. Never thought I would even make it past 18, yet here I am at 22. I'm not sure if there ever was a perfect time for me to do it though.

 

[DrownedOctopus]

When I first had thoughts on how to ctb at 8 or 9.
Though, I'd also be okay if my attempt at 16 went successfully, so that could also be the answer.

 

[Empty Smile]

At birth... Wish I would have wrapped that umbilical cord around my neck.

 

[TheFinalCountdown]

If I knew then what I know now, I would never have made it out of school

 

[esclava]

I was 8 when I first started thinking of ctb. I would have preferred not existing at all because it only gets worse.

 

[SMarie1204]

For me 17 I even realized my social life was over at that age and it only went down hill from then on, my happiness ended at 12 years old but I still had memorable experiences in my teenage years.

So what at what age did you wish you had committed suicide? I bet there are a lot of old people on here like me (almost 25) who wish they had just ended the suffering and misery years ago.

Similar..I showed signs of depression at 8..lost most of my family by 10 and at 14 I knew I was going to kill myself. Since then I've said goodbye, gone through methods..I'm in no rush as long as when I go, I'm OUT.

 

[Deadgirl]

I was about to die at age 6 by drowning and wished the park ranger didn't save my life. I had my first suicidal thought at 7. Fast forward 10 years i had my lethal attempt but i survived unfortunately. I wish i succeeded at ctb at 17. Im 19 now.

 

[agreement]

14 my first attempt

 

[vulgareconomics]

I think like 8 or 9?

 

[Amber1974]

I am really old (late thirties) judging by the ages I am seeing on here.

I have been wanting to ctb since I was 15 years old.

Omg. You are not old. I'm 44. Although what does it matter we all want to catch the bus

 

[Numbtopain97]

15

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I envy the people who commit suicide very young (under 18).

 

[bath salts]

I wish I was never born to be honest. My parents shouldn't have had children.

 

[RoadLessTraveled]

I think I had my first actual suicidal thoughts when I was 12 or 13. God, if only I'd done it back then.... Everything got worse after that age, that's for damn sure.

 

[epsilon]

I am 22 and i thinks it's the best age to die.

 

[a_strange_day]

19, I was still almost human, I had a few good friends, good parents, I could still fake it and sometimes even enjoy it. but I lived, became a real asshole and destroyed all that

 

[catwalk]

When I was really young like 10 or 11i didn't exactly want to kill myself, but I knew that some day I will

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Age 24