Venting Venting: a notice pattern on the forum

[MrDarkness]

I agree. Nobody should stop anyone from trying therapy, meds or other ways if they want to recover.

But again: a lot of people here might have had terrible experience with therapy, meds (some also suffer permanent brain damage from meds): Do you think those people will really speak positively about it in the suicide section?

no and i dont expect them to. Ive seen those who have had negative experiences say they dont recommended it for anyone, while others do, but thats not doom posting in a way

 

[AInilam]

i cant remember word for word, and im not feeling like going through old threads. if you wanna think im lying, its fine

what a way to shit on the dead, people die for different reasons, the friends ive lost had beliefs that the doom posting doesnt help, if you think im full of shit go for it, im not gonna argue with some, that just saying that im villian here, using my dead friends as an excuse to invalidate people

I'm not using your friends as an excuse--I'm talking about people who share this mentality in general. You can't just dunk on people and demand they be more positive because it's comforting for you, in a space that's meant for people who're hurting. That's just selfish and tone-deaf. As someone currently suffering from depression, trauma and ideations, I wouldn't want someone telling me that I'm only doing it to fit in, attention-seeking, immature or that I'm just not trying hard enough, etc. That'd just make me want to ctb even more. I really don't get the point of this post.

Also newsflash, people can be trying hard to recover and be positive irl while also harboring these dark thoughts of existentialism, doom and gloom. My friends and family couldn't even tell I was depressed up until my first episode/attempt. I'd rather people just let it out instead of bottling it up inside and making it worse.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

mb mb, i can recall some saying that therapy just hasnt worked and they dont recommend it, mainly using that if it doesnt work for them it, it doesn't work for others, the same can be said about religion but thats another can of worms

Well, I don't know who has specifically stated that from their subjective experience but I don't think it's fair to make that evaluation for others to follow. That being said, I think people fear recovery because they fear being sectioned involuntarily and even what happens then.

 

[MrDarkness]

Well, I don't know who has specifically stated that from their subjective experience but I don't think it's fair to make that evaluation for others to follow. That being said, I think people fear recovery because they fear being sectioned involuntarily and even what happens then.

yeah and i have that fear, no one should be forced into a ward.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Nobody should stop anyone from trying therapy, meds or other ways if they want to recover.

Keyword there: if.

If it really matters to the other individual to try therapy then they should give it a go.

yeah and i have that fear, no one should be forced into a ward.

And that's the experience most people here fear. The way society has dealt with suicide from a therapy standpoint has a lot of holes because if it didn't, we wouldn't have to hide these thoughts to ourselves and express them here. This is why Suicides are a sudden shock even if the person seemed like they had their life together and had things going for them that they shouldn't have abandoned for ctb.

 

[Dot]

If u C membrs tellng othr usrs t/ nt try therpy & medcatn etc thn pls rport thm

= fne fr ppl t/ shre thr own xperncs if therpy etc hs nt helpd thm bt = nt thr plce t/ tll othr ppl whch treatmnts t/ try - only t/ gve ech-othr info abt possbl pros & cons etc s/ ppl cn mke informd decsns fr thmselvs

 

[hopeless08]

It's difficult though. We're just a bunch of people who actually see no point in existing so what's left for us is to accept it and it feels good to know that there are other people out there who think

i get wym, i think a lot of people wouldn't need this site if they just had a little more gratitude for their lives and didn't shroud their worldview in pessimism. but that's why people kill themselves, they don't accept help and they don't want to change, and it's easier to think you're the victim of some universal unfairness instead of picking yourself up and trying to change your life. it's easier to pity yourself than to change your ways.

I have no gratitude for the this life which is absolute torture, yes some people were able to get better but others like me don't. I've tried everything for years.. therapy, medication, psych ward, meditation, holistic and praying but NOTHING has worked, I'm sorry if I sound pessimistic but this is my reality unfortunately

 

[HollowDrop]

Echo chambers are never good you are right, but recovery and suicide discussion are separated so you can't expect people on the not-recovery section to speak in favor of recovery. It's how it is. And as all the constant venting about nothing but bad things is no where near against the rules, you just gotta let it be. For some people this site is the only true outlet they have to put their thoughts into words in front of people without fear, even if it is nothing but a flood of negativity piling up inside them. If those people refuse to see anything good, nothing anyone else on the internet tells them is going to change that anyway.

I just wanna say, the world isn't as doom and gloom as other put it to be, this world has beauty, sure you gotta dig through shit to find it but it's there. The belief that nothing matters is wrong. You have friends and love ones that care, you can laugh and smile, you at least have some happy memories. so there is clearly something that matters. I'm not trying to invalidate others trauma, but at times it's worrying seeing that help/recovery is completely disregarded. I love this site and I've met some wonderful people here.

You are putting expectations onto other people, you're expecting other people to be able to think the same way you do. This is terribly wrong. We are all different with different lives and mental capabilities and strengths, some people seriously have no light or don't have anyone to guide them to that light. In similar vein some people see nothing but good, but the difference is their life environment. You can't disregard the absolute abuse some people have to endure from their life circumstances and at that point it will be awfully difficult to find anything to be hopeful about. You have to understand this. Repeating the words you said here will never do enough to help someone truly suicidal, it always feels like drilling empty positive words into someone instead of trying to understand them and digging into the root of their mental turmoil.
While I do agree there is ways to find good in our lives no matter how little as I do try no matter how much everything hurts, thinking everyone has the mental capability or strength left to do this is very unreasonable. I've worked around a lot of troubled people, you underestimate just how mentally and physically drained and done someone will be after years of torture from their own family from example. It leaves one's self worth in negatives with no hopes for future. These people might have the opportunity for free support thanks to my country, but countless people can't get anything out there. Don't just assume everyone can see things the same way.

 

[MrDarkness]

I have no gratitude for the this life which is absolute torture, yes some people were able to get better but others like me don't. I've tried everything for years.. therapy, medication, psych ward, meditation, holistic and praying but NOTHING has worked, I'm sorry if I sound pessimistic but this is my reality unfortunately

im sorry that nothing has worked, though im sure no matter what i can say, can ease the pain, but wish the best for you, whether in life or death

 

[Life_and_Death]

I haven't heard of a person being at their lowest and also being all jolly and merry. Makes sense, right?

actually certain disorders/situations can cause this

my abuse is mostly "under the table" (easy to not notice/let go of because of false niceties ect) plus with my bpd (mood problems to sum it up), ive become numb/normalized to my situation
if having no family, friends, constant physical pain, cptsd (abuse since before birth up until this very moment and continuing), whats known as the worst mental disorder (bpd), whats known as the deadliest (anorexia) among other things going on in my life, isnt rock bottom than shiiiiit

if anything, if someone is "happy" (jolly/merry) at their lowest, its probably a really bad thing

 

[sanction]

This forum is literally for people who only want to die, or on the edge of dying, but not able to take that final step because its not easy. So basically just stuck here on earth, and feeling the daily torture of it

Therefore if you were expecting something more positive or uplifting, this will definitely not be the place for it. Because if a person were to feel positive with life, then this naturally wouldn't even be a place they would hang out in, to begin with. This is a suicide forum for a reason, so should be the absolute last place you would expect too much "positive outlook" behaviors from

Its like going to a vegan forum, but not able to fully understand why the members aren't discussing more about the beauty of eating meat

Also, its not like there aren't other forums and sites out there that discuss happier things. So if that type of discussion is desired, then can simply resort to those sites instead

Otherwise its just expecting unrealistic things from the incorrect place

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Life affects people differently. Just because one person can recover from suicidal thoughts and find more happiness than suffering doesn't mean everybody can. Everybody works differently and has a different neurotype. For example, some people are okay with working for the rest of their life until they reach retirement age but not everybody is okay with that. Some people, no matter how much they tried to improve, can't find more happiness than suffering.

Also, with regards to nihilism, not everybody is religious and those who aren't religious tend to believe that there isn't really any objective meaning that humans have. However, we can create our own meaning and, for some people, there is no meaning they can find that justifies the suffering and pain they have to go through

 

[Deleted member 65988]

there is no meaning they can find that justifies the suffering and pain they have to go through

Great point this is.

 

[Roseate]

The thing here is most of us are mentally ill and coming on here expecting people to help is kind of insane because sometimes we're so far in our own issues, we can't see outside of it. Everyone here will give bias advice. At the end of the day, it is up to every individual to find what works for them. I believe everyone should try therapy and meds first, before resorting to dying. Also, sometimes we don't know whether to give advice or tell them what they want to hear because I know I don't like unsolicited advice and some people also don't. Sometimes they just want to vent. Also what works for one may not work for another so how do we know the proper advice to give? People shouldn't be on here expecting people to tell them how to live their lives, the entire point of this place is pro choice and expressing yourself freely, the negative things people outside of this website will tell us we're wrong for feeling, try to convince us to continue living this pain and etc. plenty of people on here have been here for years and that's more than okay. If people want to try therapy or meds, even better. No one wants to see people dying if they can somehow rise above this.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

This forum is literally for people who only want to die, or on the edge of dying, but not able to take that final step because its not easy. So basically just stuck here on earth, and feeling the daily torture of it

Therefore if you were expecting something more positive or uplifting, this will definitely not be the place for it. Because if a person were to feel positive with life, then this naturally wouldn't even be a place they would hang out in, to begin with. This is a suicide forum for a reason, so should be the absolute last place you would expect too much "positive outlook" behaviors from

Its like going to a vegan forum, but not able to fully understand why the members aren't discussing more about the beauty of eating meat

Also, its not like there aren't other forums and sites out there that discuss happier things. So if that type of discussion is desired, then can simply resort to those sites instead

Otherwise its just expecting unrealistic things from the incorrect place

I think OPs main issue is that there are examples of members discouraging therapy construed with views on nihilism and how the world is. That being said, yeah this is the last place you'll find much positivity or a hopeful perspective on life despite experiences that culminated in people being here in the 1st place. Sometimes people just to vent and that's understandable, if it keeps them at floating above the water then all the more better.

 

[Abyssal]

I agreed with you at first, but then you referred to my venting as doomposting and basically called me pro death.

Sometimes I just hurt and don't want to be called narrow minded for that.

 

[UKscotty]

I wouldn't lose sleep over it bro, some people will take offence over anything for a bit of attention.

As for a warning, I don't think it would add much value. There are many of us who have been here for years, life can't really be all bad or meaningless or we'd have used the literal rope ages ago. I think a lot of people like to use the forum as a place to vent about life but then go on living.

We have a recovery section and not a lot of threads are about actual method anyway. Most of our threads are about how much life sucks or how I now want to try x method.

 

[Forever Sleep]

There always seems to be some sort of battle going on between members who want this section to be more promortalist and those who want it to still show threads of hope. I think there always will be- the forum serves such a wide variety of people and it allows free speech as far as possible.

As for members maybe becoming too negatively brainwashed by all the nihilism- I'm not sure. I'd actually say a lot of people have their own ideas on these things before they get here. I think that's why you get people moving over to the recovery section or- leaving the site all together- because they found their ideas were at odds maybe with the predominant pessimism here.

However- I do kind of get what you mean. Especially with so many younger members now, I do wonder whether it's going to help their mindset being around such a narrow viewpoint of life. It's not like they probably had much hope when they joined but all they are going to find out here most likely is that they were right. Life is shit! Obviously- if they talked to the vast majority of other people out there- they would likely get a different outlook.

As to whose is right? Both are! You likely get your outlook according to your own experiences in life. If people are here- to date- that probably means they weren't so good. Doesn't mean they won't ever be good but that takes effort and to not have the hope to try I would imagine limits their chances further. So- it's that that troubles me. Still- again- I actually think that's something people have a feel for before they join- whether they still have hope- no matter what age they are.

I personally am very much pro-choice- which includes the choice to recover. Therefore, if a person seems unsure, or actually asks for options/ advice- I don't see why recovery can't be suggested as an option. They can always say no and then- the person should back off. I think most people tend to respond in accordance with the tone of the thread itself.

As for the specific member I'm sure you are alluding to. Don't get me wrong- I have nothing against them personally but as of late, I've found that their posts do tend to trigger me. I expect mine and many others trigger them back- it's the nature of a forum that deals with the most emotive things in life. I found that a lot of them made me want to respond argumentatively and I did- in as civil way as I could. But now I've come to think that it does no one any good. They won't change. They don't want to be questioned. They're not actually breaking any rules doing it. I don't want to be the bad person either- constantly knit picking what they're saying and I probably was in a way. They are obviously suffering and it helps them to vent here. I just thought it would be better all round to put them on 'ignore'. Ultimately- we can all do that. If a particular member makes posts that trigger us for whatever reason but they aren't breaking any rules as such- maybe that's the best thing to do.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Don't get me wrong- I have nothing against them personally but as of late, I've found that their posts do tend to trigger me. I expect mine and many others trigger them back- it's the nature of a forum that deals with the most emotive things in life. I found that a lot of them made me want to respond argumentatively and I did- in as civil way as I could. But now I've come to think that it does no one any good. They won't change. They don't want to be questioned. They're not actually breaking any rules doing it.

Yeap, I know exactly who this is referring to.

 

[Freimann]

I mean, I don't even care if it gets better at this point. I totally see what you mean though, but I just feel comfortable here. Soon enough I'll ctb (been saying that ever since I first came here, but still) and I won't care for shit.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

This is the only place I have left to vent and express myself even if it comes at the cost of sounding nihilistic. Every other space on the internet will gaslight me. Where else am I supposed to go?

 

[Seered Doom]

This is my place to vent uncensored because everywhere else (like the person above mentioned) would either gaslight you or say it's too uncomfy to talk about and ban you. I'm sorry, OP, but even as someone who's actively in therapy, this did not come off as what you intended.

 

[SexyIncél]

I'm not trying to invalidate others trauma, but at times it's worrying seeing that help/recovery is completely disregarded. I love this site and I've met some wonderful people here.

Sasu is a rare place where you can actually say such things. So it's not surprising that it's heavily concentrated here. This is a society-wide problem, that just happens to manifest obviously here. Because it's creepily absent elsewhere, though misery & loneliness is through the roof

In contrast, what you say is available anywhere else; everyone knows it by heart

 

[thewalkingdread]

awhile ago I read a post by venin, saying how this forum, the suicide forum, not off topic not chat, is more pro death then pro choice

Oh... I definitely remember this thread... it's this one: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-more-pro-death-than-pro-choice.141865/page-2

Do you want to know why I vividly remember it?! Because you were being as disrespectful, condescending and dismissive as you are now in this present thread.

In that thread you've mentioned, you wrote:

imo anti natalism is cringe, I didn't ask to born but I'm not gonna shit on a happy family for having kids

And, back then, I tried to educate you on a subject that you — obviously and clearly! — have no intellectual honesty/maturity to debate:

This is a gross misconception of what anti-natalism is. No one is shitting on a "happy" family for having kids. This is a strawman fallacy.

(To say 'having a kid is an immoral act' is not the same as 'I'm going to shit on someone for having a kid')

You replied to my respectful and informative remark with sarcasm, disdain, debauchery... mocking me and, even worse, the subject at hand:

Immoral act same thing pal

Anti natalism suits people who have had no world experience, have had a very sheltered life, and truly can't grasp the concept of life, or your so blinded your just following others to fit in. Work around children and then your thought on this immoral act will change

Can you see that you are misbehaving in the same disrespectful way now as you were back then?!

If you can't, I'm "sorry" — not really, though! — to inform you the following bad news.

I know this thread is going to piss people off, I'll probably be called a pro lifer

I agree with you in this point. You know you deserve to be called a pro-lifer because that's what you are. A suicidal one, though... (But only because life didn't go the "right" way you expected... Right?! Because, if It did went your way, you would probably be bashing us all, i.e. suicidal people, with your nasty arrogance and your invalidating, glib, petty, condescension)

You knew exactly that this thread was going to piss people off because that's precisely what you wanted to do. You're a cheap provocateur. (It doesn't really matter If you are fully concious of this fact or not)

Your real intent was to push your pro-life indoctrination while surreptiticiously disguising it with the suposedly "good intention" of making this forum a more "balanced", "positive", "agreeable" place... for suicidal pro-lifers like yourself.

(As if the whole, god damned, wide, world spouting pro-life bullcrap — everywhere, all the time! — wasn't enough...)

Pro-lifers, like you, feel somehow compeled to force suicidal people — inside a suicide forum! — appreciate how "wonderfully beautiful" life is, if only one tried hard enough to grasp it's beauty... And how one is just an "evil nihilist", or a "defective", "feeble minded" weakling if he doesn't want to even try anymore.

I'm sorry if this thread invalidates others

No, you're not sorry at all. You are actually very proud of it. That's precisely what you wanted... i.e. to invalidate and offend the majority of people in this forum — which, by the way, holds a different, "opposite", worldview from your own.

I'm not trying to invalidate others trauma, but...

But... you couldn't care less, even if you really tried. You've demonstrated that you only care about yourself.

I just wanna say, the world isn't as doom and gloom as other put it to be, this world has beauty, sure you gotta dig through shit to find it but it's there.

I'm sure no one here is in need for you to lecture them on that.

You are being extremely condescending, paternalistic, offensive and presumptuous in assuming that people on this forum ignore the "positive" aspects of life.

If that was true, if people here really had this "only doom and gloom" mindset as you assume them to have, this forum would be empty... since no one would even struggle with (and against) survival instinct. People would just simply kill themselves and be done with it.

The belief that nothing matters is wrong.

This is the "icing on the cake" of all your pro-life rethoric, disguised as "let's even even the odds" on this forum bullshit.

All you wanted to do with this thread was to boast to everyone in here that you have the "moral high ground", that you are a "cheerleader" for the "right" team.

In fact, you are entitled to have any opinion you want/like. That's an integral, unnegotiable, part of freedom of thought and speech.

But you are not entitled to have your own facts... you can't Just assume that the majority of people in this forum are "nihilistic" and, worse yet, assume that nihilism is equatable to "nothing matters" or suicidality.

Nihilism is a complex, diverse, array of worldviews and doesn't even necessarily entail a suicidal mindset: there are plenty of nihilistic people in this world who are far from being suicidal.

 

[Sylveon]

If only all this heat were in my room RN...

 

[thewalkingdread]

If only all this heat were in my room RN...

He pratically "asked" for it with his inconsiderate, sarcastic, condescending demeanor...

Newton's third law: for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.

 

[Sylveon]

Newton's third law: for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I was actually studying mechanics RN.

 

[thewalkingdread]

I was actually studying mechanics RN.

Physics is a truly beautiful thing!

 

[SilentSadness]

It's not "sheltered and immature" to suffer or to have trauma. Life is full of extreme, constant suffering for many people and, despite what the original post says, the post is extremely invalidating. The reason negativity is repeated on the forum is because that's the reality of what people experience, and this forum is about reality and not delusion of pro lifers like the original poster. The post is offensive and doesn't belong here.

 

[LifeCanBeCruel]

Truth be told, I think all humans mainly focus on their own lives and then project their thoughts, experiences and current circumstances onto everybody else. If you were in the 'irredeemable life camp', then you too would be fed up with optimistic recovery posts. That's not to say that I disagree with your points, but it should be recognised that not all people here are capable of seeing anything other than despair & pessimism.