Venting Can somebody please please try to talk me out of CTBing in February of next year?

[whenwillthepainstop]

I need a couple months to plan because I'm a very thorough person, but I want to try one more time to change my mind. Because by the time I've fully planned everything, it's basically too late. I have a method in mind but haven't started planning yet. Suicide will end my pain but it creates a lot of problems for other people(mainly my bf) and passes my pain onto him. I know at the end of the day the choice is mine, but I want someone to at least try to change my mind. I want someone to make me live. Actually choose to live instead of only surviving due to procrastinating my own death. This is probably the last attempt I am making at some sort of recovery and because this is the recovery section I hope someone will stop me from CTBing.

 

[Abyss Dweller]

Problem is such a large part of this (if not all of it) is subjective so without knowing why you would want to CTB it is hard to say anything worthwhile other than going to therapy.

I could say cliche phares like life is beautiful, time will heal but my guess is that nobody on this forum really wants to hear that.

So why would you want to CTB?

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

I need a couple months to plan because I'm a very thorough person, but I want to try one more time to change my mind. Because by the time I've fully planned everything, it's basically too late. I have a method in mind but haven't started planning yet. Suicide will end my pain but it creates a lot of problems for other people(mainly my bf) and passes my pain onto him. I know at the end of the day the choice is mine, but I want someone to at least try to change my mind. I want someone to make me live. Actually choose to live instead of only surviving due to procrastinating my own death. This is probably the last attempt I am making at some sort of recovery and because this is the recovery section I hope someone will stop me from CTBing.

PM me.

 

[whenwillthepainstop]

Problem is such a large part of this (if not all of it) is subjective so without knowing why you would want to CTB it is hard to say anything worthwhile other than going to therapy.

I could say cliche phares like life is beautiful, time will heal but my guess is that nobody on this forum really wants to hear that.

So why would you want to CTB?

To explain my situation would take forever unfortunately and I don't have all day and I am sure the people here don't have all day either lol. I'd tell you my life story but it's just tedious to explain. But basically life sucks and I'm mentally ill and can't afford treatment rn.

PM me.

Hey sorry but I don't want to PM anyone here as it's risky, I'm not saying you have bad intentions but just out of my own paranoia I don't plan on making any friends here or PMing anyone. It's not personal

 

[Abyss Dweller]

If you ever feel like going into details a lot of people here are willing to listen myself included.

 

[whenwillthepainstop]

If you ever feel like going into details a lot of people here are willing to listen myself included.

Good to know, this place is very supportive.

 

[EternalShore]

While nobody can give you specific advice without you describing your situation, I can tell you a few things~ :)
You are never too far gone for either sewer slide or recovery~ The methods may change, but sewer slide will always remain an option for as long as you are around~ on the other hand, recovery can no longer happen once you are no longer here~ the fact that you've been posting things like this makes one think that you do have some sort of hope for recovery or something you would lose or regret by leaving~ I would exhaust that prior to attempting sewer slide~
responding to your 6th post, joining a sewer slide forum does not mean that you will necessarily commit it~ there are many members here who have yet to do it, have failed attempts, and have left after getting better or simply not wishing to use the site anymore~ for me, just having a method around is comforting~ :) it's like an emergency exit button whenever things get even worse than they are now~ :) It's not something that ever needs to be actually used~

 

[whenwillthepainstop]

While nobody can give you specific advice without you describing your situation, I can tell you a few things~ :)
You are never too far gone for either sewer slide or recovery~ The methods may change, but sewer slide will always remain an option for as long as you are around~ on the other hand, recovery can no longer happen once you are no longer here~ the fact that you've been posting things like this makes one think that you do have some sort of hope for recovery or something you would lose or regret by leaving~ I would exhaust that prior to attempting sewer slide~
responding to your 6th post, joining a sewer slide forum does not mean that you will necessarily commit it~ there are many members here who have yet to do it, have failed attempts, and have left after getting better or simply not wishing to use the site anymore~ for me, just having a method around is comforting~ :) it's like an emergency exit button whenever things get even worse than they are now~ :) It's not something that ever needs to be actually used~

I relate to the emergency exit button thing. Also you're right that suicide is always an option if I'm alive, but recovery will never be an option if I'm dead. I could either have two choices or just one.

 

[wine is fine but]

being very blunt
if you want someone to stop you or talk you out of it, you almost certainly do not want to do it

as the last line in your last post suggest, you could either have two choices or just one - while living you have the choice of two options. when dead, if you do not like it; too bad. you no longer have the choice

to take a line from the shawshank redemption "get busy living, or get busy dying". if you fixate on dying, then you will never live. you will simply exist. while fixating, you will always have a "get out" option. it is very difficult to not fixate, most of us here, know that, but only you can take what positives are in front of you and start living. perhaps you cannot enjoy any positives, but it seems to me that you would like to be able to. hopefully you can somehow get to the point where life un-sucks. there is no need to rush into being dead. there is a very good chance that being dead will be for all eternity. achieving it 20-60 years before our time isn't really going to matter at all, but waiting until it is due could be a very positive situation for yourself and everyone who loves you