Help vacation was the best thing that has ever happened to me

[rott3navocado]

For the past couple of weeks I think I was having an episode of some sort but after surpassing the homesickness of being in the west, I think I just wasn't thriving in that environment and needed a break. I've been trying to meditate and ground myself a little better so I don't rely on suicide when it comes to getting bad grades (I alr have a 0.1 gpa for the semester I don't know how I'm going to make a academic comeback but I'm going to try) I think I wasn't having sessions with my therapist either. but I actually felt like I was myself again. previously I just felt like a shell who had a victim complex and didn't know how to fix it but I'm trying out having to have more sleep to study in the afternoon. I don't know how I'm going to try to stop the periods of dissociation but I know music helps and I want to get better and I want to be around less people that enable me. I also want to thank everyone for their support previously as well but now I just need help on figuring myself out now, I realize I'm still developing and sometimes I think of things of black and white and I don't quite know how to expand my thinking or get rid of a victim complex but I want to get better.

 

[Whale_bones]

Sounds to me like you have a good attitude and you're strong. There can be so much pressure on young people about school and grades, they're told by parents and a lot of society that it's a "make or break" thing, but the reality is many people can live a happy and fulfilling life even if they're not successful in school! And that's something you only find out when you're old enough that people around you aren't pressuring you about school

I looked at your past posts quickly for context, and it seems like you have parents that are quite harsh and judgmental, but you mention a good friend group, so I'd say do your best to surround yourself with friends who support you! I believe everyone deserves the chance to live freely as themselves, away from parents, before they consider CTB. Sending you some good luck