I'd like to tell and/or show the people who brought me into this miserable state of living what they've done to me. It wouldn't change anything and they probably wouldn't even care but I feel like I need the closure. But due to a lot of reasons it's not possible for me to do that, mostly because I'm scared shitless of them and can't even go to the store without being scared of seeing one of them.
So glad when I'm finally gone, either by ctb or moving to to switzerland with my partner.