arnxxx
Experienced
- Mar 8, 2024
- 208
If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations
I'll tell a personal story. Not sure if it'll change anyone's perspective on this, but I want to make something perfectly clear.
In 2019, I attempted suicide by hanging. This was what led me to being involuntarily hospitalized for the first time. At this time, there were various cameras around the house because we were afraid of burglars getting in, as that's already happened before. My mother saw me attempting to hang myself on camera. Needless to say, she's traumatized by that incident. I live with that every day of my life. I live with the guilt and shame of making her feel that way. In spite of how much she and I have a complicated relationship, I live with those feelings.
And yet, my desire to die hasn't gone away. No matter how much I've tried, and believe me I've tried, the feelings of wanting to die don't stop. They follow me everywhere I go. I can't tell you how many mornings I've gotten out of bed disappointed I didn't die in my sleep. I can't tell you how many times I've seen fatal car accidents IRL and I look at the dead bodies covered with a blanket and wish that was me.
It's just a part of me I deal with. No amount of telling me how my death will hurt others will take away this part of me. It's not for lack of trying, certainly not for lack of empathy. I do have loved ones. I do care about how my death will impact them. And also I'm so tired and exhausted of life because of my own problems that going on feels like the most difficult task in the world. Both things can be true.
i'm sure people who are planning to ctb are well aware of the effects it'll have on friends/family. it's part of the difficult decision to ctb in the first place. your post comes across as guilt tripping as others have stated. ctb is really the ultimate decision of body autonomy and should be respected without making others feel guilty for it.
Thank youBEFORE ANYONE GETS PISSED OFF -
I AM FOR YOUR RIGHT TO END YOUR OWN LIFE.....
....but if you're going to do it, consider making sure that your family aren't the ones that find you!
Don't let your parents find your dead body. Don't let anyone who loves you find your corpse.
It's one thing a random stranger who doesn't give a shit about you, but your parents reaction may be dreadful.
Seriously triggering video. Don't watch if you are sensitive. I think it's important you fully understand how your death will feel to others. If you are brave enough to watch the below video, you will see.
This video involves a mother witnessing her sons CTB. You may say "my family wont see me ACTUALLY committing suicide", but finding your dead body isn't much better. I've seen videos of parents reactions to finding their children's bodies, and it's dreadful.
The below video is one of the worst videos I've ever seen. There isn't really any gore/blood, it's a low quality video, but it's the reaction of the people that is the worst.
P.S. Before anyone calls for me to be banned, I've seen plenty of threads with gore/death/suicide videos and pictures being posted before. So talk to me in DM Mods if you have an issue because you've allowed it plenty of times before.
so what are you trying to do here? Are you trying to tell me I should prioritize how other people will react over MY OWN suffering? Where was the mother when her son was suffering?BEFORE ANYONE GETS PISSED OFF -
I AM FOR YOUR RIGHT TO END YOUR OWN LIFE.....
....but if you're going to do it, consider making sure that your family aren't the ones that find you!
Don't let your parents find your dead body. Don't let anyone who loves you find your corpse.
It's one thing a random stranger who doesn't give a shit about you, but your parents reaction may be dreadful.
Seriously triggering video. Don't watch if you are sensitive. I think it's important you fully understand how your death will feel to others. If you are brave enough to watch the below video, you will see.
This video involves a mother witnessing her sons CTB. You may say "my family wont see me ACTUALLY committing suicide", but finding your dead body isn't much better. I've seen videos of parents reactions to finding their children's bodies, and it's dreadful.
The below video is one of the worst videos I've ever seen. There isn't really any gore/blood, it's a low quality video, but it's the reaction of the people that is the worst.
P.S. Before anyone calls for me to be banned, I've seen plenty of threads with gore/death/suicide videos and pictures being posted before. So talk to me in DM Mods if you have an issue because you've allowed it plenty of times before.