The Polyannic Thread, aka The Worst Advice Thread Evurrrr....

[OldDrummer]

Who says we can't discuss ctb without a modicum of levity?

I'd like to propose this thread as a repository, nay receptacle, of probably the worst, most cheesy and most cringeworthy advice you could ever proffer to anyone wanting to seriously ctb.

If you want to play, then please be respectful to others and don't be a dick.

Also please feel free to mention actual nonsensical "advice" that you've received from mental health "professionals".

I'll start with..."Hey Mister! Turn that frown upside down!".

 

[SpaceCadet]

"You need Jesus in your life"

 

[Symbiote]

"All you have to do is find love and you'll live!" ~Sherri

 

[Silenos]

"You just need to think positive."
And how would I do that?
"Just.think.positive!"

(based on an actual interaction I've had)

 

[Symbiote]

 

[OldDrummer]

Oh, and of course, the classic...

Live! Laugh! Love!

Yes Karen.

"All you have to do is find love and you'll live!" ~Sherri

Sherrigate...too soon dude!

 

[Sea Turtle]

Just get more sunlight

 

[𝔧𝔞𝔫𝔢 ⛧]

"im sending all my light and love to you"

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The only "die"ing you need is to go on a diet. Also exercise til your muscles ache, sleep 9 hours a day, and don't interact with a single electronic screen six hours before bed or your eyes will burst into flames.

 

[motel rooms]

Your sexual compulsive behavior disorder is going to ruin your open marriage unless you stop having sex with other guys with your partner's consent & masturbating so much. Why can't you just pester & maul your husband 24/7?

 

[OldDrummer]

Your sexual compulsive behavior disorder is going to ruin your open marriage unless you stop having sex with other guys with your partner's consent & masturbating so much. Why can't you just pester & maul your husband 24/7?

I thought the only way to ruin an open marriage was with actual murder?

So happy I lost my libido last year!

 

[motel rooms]

Sherrigate...too soon dude!

 

[Red Scare]

I thought the only way to ruin an open marriage was with actual murder?

Wow. Absolutely positively every single "open" marriage I have ever encountered ended miserably.

Same with so called polyamorous relationships.

I feel so bad for the cucks stuck in that situation.

 

[OldDrummer]

Wow. Absolutely positively every single "open" marriage I have ever encountered ended miserably.
`

Wow. Absolutely positively every single "open" marriage I have ever encountered ended miserably.

As opposed to every "closed" marriage? Speaking from personal experience?

 

[motel rooms]

Wow. Absolutely positively every single "open" marriage I have ever encountered ended miserably.

Same with so called polyamorous relationships.

I feel so bad for the cucks stuck in that situation.

Nope, not getting sucked into this pointless discussion with someone who knows nothing about me & my partner. My husband is not a cuck, he's a sex worker. Outrageous, I know. He's been one since he ended up on the street as a teenager. We've both experienced sexual abuse. If it makes you feel all virtuous, feel free to shit on us.

 

[OldDrummer]

Nope, not getting sucked into this pointless discussion with someone who knows nothing about me & my partner. My husband is not a cuck, he's a sex worker. Outrageous, I know. He's been one since he ended up on the street as a teenager. We've both experienced sexual abuse. If it makes you feel all virtuous, feel free to shit on us.

Don't engage. Nothing but a troll. Best of luck.

 

[Red Scare]

Nope, not getting sucked into this pointless discussion with someone who knows nothing about me & my partner. My husband is not a cuck, he's a sex worker. Outrageous, I know. He's been one since he ended up on the street as a teenager. We've both experienced sexual abuse. If it makes you feel all righteous & morally superior, feel free to shit on us.

Personally if I was going to marry anyone I would want to know they aren't banging any other people. Call it a preference. I won't be banging anyone else as long as I am in a committed relationship with that person and we share a bed. We'll be the only ones sharing that bed. So much for trying to curb the stereotype that us gay guys are promiscuous and can't commit to a monogamous lifestyle. But you do you.

 

[OldDrummer]

Personally if I was going to marry anyone I would want to know they aren't banging any other people. Call it a preference. I won't be banging anyone else as long as I am in a committed relationship with that person and we share a bed. We'll be the only ones sharing that bed. So much for trying to curb the stereotype that us gay guys are promiscuous and can't commit to a monogamous lifestyle. But you do you.

Personally I wouldn't be throwing stones in a glasshouse. Remind yourself what this site is actually about and why you're on it.

 

[Cathy Ames]

"Suck it up, Buttercup."

"You're as happy as you decide to be."

"You need to be more grateful for what you have."

 

[motel rooms]

Personally if I was going to marry anyone I would want to know they aren't banging any other people. Call it a preference. I won't be banging anyone else as long as I am in a committed relationship with that person and we share a bed. We'll be the only ones sharing that bed. So much for trying to curb the stereotype that us gay guys are promiscuous and can't commit to a monogamous lifestyle. But you do you.

What do I care about your personal preferences as long as you're not a rapist? What do I care about curbing stereotypes about gays? I am promiscuous because I developed C-PTSD & sexual compulsive behavior disorder after being raped by my father as a child for ten years, & my husband was forced to do sex work to survive. Of course we're gonna do us, we certainly don't need anyone's permission.

 

[soup noodles]

Also please feel free to mention actual nonsensical "advice" that you've received from mental health "professionals".

why don't you sit yourself down and make a cup of tea? take some deep breaths. things will look better after you've calmed down a bit

[edited because i have more thoughts] i hate how common it is to recieve horrible advice like this. mental health professionals treat people like they're just going through five minutes of sadness, not life-ruining depression

 

[OldDrummer]

why don't you sit yourself down and make a cup of tea? take some deep breaths. things will look better after you've calmed down a bit

Mess with my friends on here, and you mess with me.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Just get more sunlight

So much for sunlight...

 

[Cathy Ames]

"Just breathe!"

"Help is available."

"Things get better."

why don't you sit yourself down and make a cup of tea? take some deep breaths. things will look better after you've calmed down a bit

Oops. I tried to quote this but messed up.

 

[soup noodles]

"Just breathe!"

"Help is available."

"Things get better."

can't stand 'just breathe'! and it's so frustrating to hear that things get better. like they think being told about some uncertain hypothetical future will make you instantly feel better right now?? aaah

 

[Silenos]

[Removed]

I sincerely hope you told him to fuck right off.

In a similar vein I was once told by someone that chronic pain is an addiction that you can just 'quit'. I stopped speaking to them after that.

 

[Symbiote]

"You need a dose of mindfulness"

All those mindfulness books in the local self-help book section are all garbage. But I guess people need an instruction manual on how not to be complete dicks.

 

[motel rooms]

[Removed]

Yeah, he pretty much said the same thing to me. He told me my father "sensed my innate gay nature" when I was two & that's why he started molesting me. He actually got offended when I didn't thank him for sharing his "insights" with me.

 

[symphony]

I know I've gotten a lot of this, but I can't remember them all right now, besides the time a crisis counselor asked if I'd tried taking a hot bath instead of hanging myself.

 

[Cathy Ames]

can't stand 'just breathe'! and it's so frustrating to hear that things get better. like they think being told about some uncertain hypothetical future will make you instantly feel better right now?? aaah

OMG, and how could I have forgotten "This, too, shall pass"?

[Removed]

Oh this is horrible, and I really HATE that someone said that to you. And it reminds of some more of those trite "helpful" things we hear all the freaking time.

"Everything happens for a reason," and "God will never give you more than you can handle."

Like... WTF?!?! Seriously?!