the only time I'm happy is when I'm drunk

[Tionally]

I recently realized that I'm usually happier when I'm drunk? (I don't drink often, less than once a month, it heavily depends) it makes me more disconnected from reality but at the same time I actually feel more real maybe...? I don't know how to describe it. the only times recently that I can remember when I wasn't worried about anything and really enjoying myself was when I was drunk. I did wanna ctb once or more under the influence but sometimes life seems so great when I'm drunk. That's not something I ever feel on normal days. I guess that's not healthy but at least I was happy for a moment.

 

[losing hope]

Your thread reminded me of this song.

"I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour But heaven knows I'm miserable now....




Basically I'm the same, except replace the word "drunk/en" with "stoned" couresty of MaryJane... my lovely chemical wife.

 

[Tionally]

I was complementing drinking alone for the first time ever to feel better for a while but yeah that doesn't seem like a good idea.

I think I'd rather end up dead than an alcoholic

 

[Little_Suzy]

Please don't rely on alcohol to regulate your mood.

Alcohol can also cause severe depressive episodes and emotional distress if one of your triggers is activated. Say you have an argument with someone or something happens that irritates you.

The comedown can be extremely intense, much like how our psych meds can induce a crash.

Drink to celebrate a happy occasion, not when you're down.

 

[FloopZee]

Me too, Its nice while you're drunk to not have your mind racing. Its coming down from it that the reality kicks in that you're going to go back to being misserable and depressed again. Then you go back to chasing the same calm feeling, yet the comedown gets worse each time, so the cycle begins. Thats how you become an alcholic.

I was complementing drinking alone for the first time ever to feel better for a while but yeah that doesn't seem like a good idea.

I think I'd rather end up dead than an alcoholic

If my above message is how you feel things will go, then it's probably best to stay away from it all together.

 

[Aim]

Ought! Did you reach out for help?

 

[DesperateOne]

That's because alcohol spikes your dopamine and serotonin. What also spikes those two hormones are ice cold showers, different eastern breathing techniques and heavy cardio. While its not on the same level as 1L of red wine you should still look into those three. They are a lot more sustainable and have no side effects meanwhile with alcohol you will constantly have to drink more to get the desired effect until the negatives/hangovers complete engulf the positives. Btw, if you are very heavy in depression you should give the weakest SSRI's a try. They might be worth it, with the help of a doctor that actually understands what he is talking about of course.

 

[Endofit]

Unfortunately with me even with alcohol, the dark does not go away. It used to work, but now it's just dizzy sadness.

 

[FujoshiNeet]

Same. I love how people always say alcohol shows who you truly are because I guess the true me is social, friendly, and happy.

 

[Dliena]

Honestly me too at least I don't feel bored depressed questioning zillions stuff anymore when UTI just blissful. I mean I don't even cared if it destroyed me I've already fucked over my life a decade ago anyway.

 

[piddincir]

me too, until I wake up the next day

Drunk now, only going to get drunker and deal with everything else tomorrow

All my CTB attempts have been when drunk but probably why they failed

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

That is why homeless people drink. So, I don't care if they take the money I give them and go buy alcohol with it.

 

[cryvinglightning]

same. either drunk or high or smoking a cigarette or just not there mentally. the addiction gene even runs in my family, so that's fun.

 

[Tionally]

same. either drunk or high or smoking a cigarette or just not there mentally. the addiction gene even runs in my family, so that's fun.

I have some addiction in my family too. mainly my alcoholic father. that's why I feel weird with these thoughts. I remember I promised myself in the past that I would never drink and I did keep that for a long time. not drinking when my friends were etc. but later I drank for the first time and started getting drunk occasionally with friends