The Official 2020 Everything But The Kitchen Sink Post

[CynicalHopelessness]

I'm lying on the couch. Put a gummy bear on my upper lip and enjoying it's scent

 

[Squiddy]

Currently on a short 5 minute break. I wrote down suicidal thoughts on a paper and my nurse was like "do we need to hospitalize you" and I said no

Besides, I can't afford another hospitalization

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Huh. I guess I should stop isolating and check Facebook from time to time. I forget that I'm actually part of a social group outside of here and I get invited to things (I have to work, but still). Whoops.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

Huh. I guess I should stop isolating and check Facebook from time to time. I forget that I'm actually part of a social group outside of here and I get invited to things (I have to work, but still). Whoops.

Good thing it's not a problem for me 'cause I never get invited anywhere.

Now wait a sec... Oh...

 

[Jean4]

It seems like it's mostly for support. I have support already, though

I told you when I went, they have medical care, therapy and anything else you may need. ;)

Or, if you call and if you don't like their services, you can ask for a referral that better suits your needs.
Or, you can call GMHC. You are in Nee York. There are plenty of places.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Good thing it's not a problem for me 'cause I never get invited anywhere.

Now wait a sec... Oh...

I'm sorry. :x You have us, though! And we love you so much!

 

[Squiddy]

For this PHP program, I gotta meet a $500 deductible and then a 25% co-insurance afterwards. Highway robbery

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

I'm sorry. :x You have us, though! And we love you so much!

Thanks. I got used to being a loner, to a degree where it doesn't actively hurt most of the time

 

[Jean4]

Hello everyone. How are you doing?

I'm not doing so well tbh. I said yesterday about the toilet being clogged because of my diaries. Well. My roommate took a shower and it caused a flood in the room. We needed to move to another room. I'm scared that the water caused some damage in the room. I'm angry at the doctor. She told a week ago that they could give me ect treatment but today she said they won't. It feels like a slap in the face. They gave me false hope and now they're watching me so I can't kill myself. I said I don't have any suicidal thoughts but they still won't let me out from the hospital. On Monday there will be next meeting. I hope I'll get out so I can die. I have a new plan. I'm paranoid of my close ones finding this forum and my account and these messages after I die. Sorry about always opening up in this thread.

I hope you guys are feeling ok. :)

Let's take this piece by piece.

I feel you about the toilet. It happened to me earlier in the week. Are you copying me?

Did they say why they won't give you the ECT? As I said, it is generally used as a last resort. Why the change?

We are here for you!

Good thing it's not a problem for me 'cause I never get invited anywhere.

Now wait a sec... Oh...

Excuse me? And who are we? Chopped liver? We love seeing you here!!!!! If we didn't want you here, I would cook for you!!!

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

Excuse me? And who are we? Chopped liver? We love seeing you here!!!!! If we didn't want you here, I would cook for you!

Well technically I never got invited there. I just forced myself onto you and keeping it like this for now

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Excuse me? And who are we? Chopped liver? We love seeing you here!!!!! If we didn't want you here, I would cook for you!!!

Exactly! We love you and enjoy your presence!

 

[Carina]

I just remembered I have prescriptions to pick up ugh.... at 2 different places.... Maybe I should pick up hard liquor...

ok yeah... totally at a semi destructive behavior... I do not need to pick up gin... or rum... or vodka....

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Well technically I never got invited there. I just forced myself onto you and keeping it like this for now

I mean..there's nothing wrong with that. Kinda cool, actually.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

I mean..there's nothing wrong with that. Kinda cool, actually.

Wish I could do this in real life though somehow. And I do miss physical touch sometimes

 

[Carina]

Wish I could do this in real life though somehow. And I do miss physical touch sometimes

I've forgotten what physical touch feels like. And I know that even touching my own hand doesn't feel the same because I know where it is or will be, unlike if it was someone else where the sensation of their breathing, warmth, skin, movements, is something that can't be reproduced.

 

[Jean4]

Wish I could do this in real life though somehow. And I do miss physical touch sometimes

I apologize for not inviting you. I thought you were just so cool... it was already known and assumed. ;)
I got some real work done. I am now going to eat hard boiled eggs at 11:44.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Wish I could do this in real life though somehow. And I do miss physical touch sometimes

I would give you the biggest hug ever! In fact I AM GIVING YOU THE BIGGEST HUG EVER!!! *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug*

 

[Root]

@Jean4 They said I haven't tried enough medications. But will I wait for months some pills maybe work, when the other similar ones only caused harm?? No. I just don't understand why they didn't say it right away. They put me in the hospital for no reason which is really expensive for the society.

Oh no. Did you get your toilet fixed?

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

I've forgotten what physical touch feels like. And I know that even touching my own hand doesn't feel the same because I know where it is or will be, unlike if it was someone else where the sensation of their breathing, warmth, skin, movements, is something that can't be reproduced.

I wish I could (with your permission) give you the biggest hug ever ever ever. *Gives you a huge hug*

 

[Jean4]

Folks. As we know, Jean is very unstable today. Please go to The Who is Stan thread and help me out. Thanks.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've fallen down the rabbit hole.

 

[Squiddy]

Vegetable lasagna and a breadstick and coconut cake

 

[Brick In The Wall]

How do you even approach such a food properly!?

 

[Jean4]

Folks. As we know, Jean is very unstable today. Please go to The Who is Stan thread and help me out. Thanks.

@Brick In The Wall go for it please. You are good at this. ;)

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

@Brick In The Wall go for it please. You are good at this. ;)

Please lol I am running on fumes so that's all I could spout.

 

[Jean4]

Please lol I am running on fumes so that's all I could spout.

And I was doing so well. I don't want to take an edible this early because someone pushed my buttons and knocked me off kilter. Not suicidal which is good.

 

[Squiddy]

How do you even approach such a food properly!?

Breadstick was kinda hard, but the v. lasagna was good

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

And I was doing so well. I don't want to take an edible this early because someone pushed my buttons and knocked me off kilter. Not suicidal which is good.

Well the good thing is that you are not suicidal. You can do this, Jean. Try to regulate your breathing if you've got yourself a little worked up. Maybe listen to some music if that doesn't help. It's going to be okay. Someone will take care of it. Pet your babies if nothing else helps. ❤

 

[Carina]

Non-suicidal @Jean4 is good :D

 

[Squiddy]

Non-suicidal @Jean4 is good :D

I agree :)