The Official 2020 Everything But The Kitchen Sink Post

[Brick In The Wall]

Sleepy crowd today, who stole all the adderall?

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Sleepy crowd today, who stole all the adderall?

I no longer know what being awake the whole day feels like at this point #_#

Lemme find out someone's holding all the adderall, I need to clean my house! XD

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Doctors appointment today. At least I no longer have to lie about wanting to off myself cause I can just attribute it to thoughts about euthanasia.

that doesn't raise any alarms and I can't be committed for that.

going to try to get some additional CTB materials while I'm out. And also Liquor, etc.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I no longer know what being awake the whole day feels like at this point #_#

It was CPD that booked in advance, at the hospital, is why your neuro appointment takes over a year.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

I would give you the biggest hug ever! In fact I AM GIVING YOU THE BIGGEST HUG EVER!!! *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug*

NO ROUTE TO HOST.

Unfortunately HTTP doesn't support sending physical sensations :c

 

[CyanideSoup]

Checking in, still trying to deal with the craziness at home. It's all so overwhelming and need a distraction. My meds have also been adjusted so I have the worst headache and feel really unwell. I hope everyone is doing okay today. Sending hugs to you all

 

[BooGirl]

Checking in, still trying to deal with the craziness at home. It's all so overwhelming and need a distraction. My meds have also been adjusted so I have the worst headache and feel really unwell. I hope everyone is doing okay today. Sending hugs to you all

sending huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs to you! (sorry to steal from you @cosmicpixiedust)

 

[Root]

Checking in, still trying to deal with the craziness at home. It's all so overwhelming and need a distraction. My meds have also been adjusted so I have the worst headache and feel really unwell. I hope everyone is doing okay today. Sending hugs to you all

I hope you'd get better.

 

[Squiddy]

So my psychiatrist in the program asked me to stop smoking weed. No way in hell that's gonna happen

 

[Jean4]

Checking in, still trying to deal with the craziness at home. It's all so overwhelming and need a distraction. My meds have also been adjusted so I have the worst headache and feel really unwell. I hope everyone is doing okay today. Sending hugs to you all

It takes some time for it to get adjusted. Be patient, and I am glad you checked in.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

NO ROUTE TO HOST.

Unfortunately HTTP doesn't support sending physical sensations :c

Oh no :( I can still virtual hug you, though! Not the same, I know.

So my psychiatrist in the program asked me to stop smoking weed. No way in hell that's gonna happen

 

[Jean4]

Trying to regroup after being punched in the stomach lol.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Checking in, still trying to deal with the craziness at home. It's all so overwhelming and need a distraction. My meds have also been adjusted so I have the worst headache and feel really unwell. I hope everyone is doing okay today. Sending hugs to you all

Sending hugs! I hope you feel better soon. It takes time to adjust.

 

[Squiddy]

Oh no :( I can still virtual hug you, though! Not the same, I know.

Yup. What a joke when hell freezes over, I'll stop. It makes me too happy

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Yup. What a joke when hell freezes over, I'll stop. It makes me too happy

You gotta keep some of the things in life that you love and enjoy! Some people are silly

 

[Squiddy]

You gotta keep some of the things in life that you love and enjoy! Some people are silly

Ikr. It gives me joy

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Ikr. It gives me joy

I feel you, dude. Saaame, it's great!

 

[Backwood_tilt]

All this talk about Stan in the other thread has had me singing the Dido sample from "Stan" by Eminem all morning:

My tea's gone cold, I wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

 

[BlueWidow]

Good morning everyone,
For the last few days I've been trying to notice what happens just seconds before I wake up in the morning because it's always the same thing. I've been trying to find a way to describe what it feels like and this is what I came up with. It sounds a little crazy, but just hear me out.
So, I've heard some people describe sleep as sort of "practicing for death". Each night while were sleeping, we get to at least partially feel what it's like to be dead because we're partially unconscious. It feels like my spirit or my essence or whatever you want to call it has been allowed to fly around free during this period of time at night when I'm allowed to be unconscious. It's allowed to sort of escape my body and my mind. Then, in the morning just seconds before I wake up, against its will, it gets violently forced or jerked back into my body and mind- a space where it doesn't feel comfortable and doesn't fit properly. And being wedged back into this space where it doesn't fit makes it feel sore. It almost feels sore and raw from continually being stuck in this uncomfortable space that it doesn't fit into. And then as I wake up, it just makes me feel sick because here it is again stuck—when all it wants is out so that it can continue to fly free like it does when I'm asleep.
Anyway, that's the closest I can come to explaining how it feels when I wake up in the morning.
I don't know if that makes any sense to anybody or not.

I think you will all be proud of me. 6:17 am. I woke up to an insult to Stan on The Who Is Stan thread. I politely responded. I will now take me meds. Feed the cats in time and debate if I get up.

I saw that post this morning when I got up for a second and was on here without signing in just to check in before trying to go back to sleep and I saw that post. That person is a troll. They've always been a jerk.
When I first came here they made some very rude comments to me and both Stan and BPD_LE sent me PMs telling me to ignore the person. And yes, I don't know why someone would come on a suicide form and say something like that about anybody. There seem to be a lot of trolls on here since the new year started, though this person has been here longer. I did worry how their comments were going to affect you though @Jean4. You have enough to deal with without worrying about that kind of crap. I hope you're okay.
Also, love and hugs to everyone who's having a bad day. And so glad @Squiddy is doing well in her program today so far.
Okay, have to get up get dressed and get coffee before I decide to just stay in bed all day. LOL!

 

[Jean4]

Good morning everyone,
For the last few days I've been trying to notice what happens just seconds before I wake up in the morning because it's always the same thing. I've been trying to find a way to describe what it feels like and this is what I came up with. It sounds a little crazy, but just hear me out.
So, I've heard some people describe sleep as sort of "practicing for death". Each night while were sleeping, we get to at least partially feel what it's like to be dead because we're partially unconscious. It feels like my spirit or my essence or whatever you want to call it has been allowed to fly around free during this period of time at night when I'm allowed to be unconscious. It's allowed to sort of escape my body and my mind. Then, in the morning just seconds before I wake up, against its will, it gets violently forced or jerked back into my body and mind- a space where it doesn't feel comfortable and doesn't fit properly. And being wedged back into this space where it doesn't fit makes it feel sore. It almost feels sore and raw from continually being stuck in this uncomfortable space that it doesn't fit into. And then as I wake up, it just makes me feel sick because here it is again stuck—when all it wants is out so that it can continue to fly free like it does when I'm asleep.
Anyway, that's the closest I can come to explaining how it feels when I wake up in the morning.
I don't know if that makes any sense to anybody or not.



I saw that post this morning when I got up for a second and was on here without signing in just to check in before trying to go back to sleep and I saw that post. That person is a troll. They've always been a jerk.
When I first came here they made some very rude comments to me and both Stan and BPD_LE sent me PMs telling me to ignore the person. And yes, I don't know why someone would come on a suicide form and say something like that about anybody. There seem to be a lot of trolls on here since the new year started, though this person has been here longer. I did worry how their comments were going to affect you though @Jean4. You have enough to deal with without worrying about that kind of crap. I hope you're okay.
Also, love and hugs to everyone who's having a bad day. And so glad @Squiddy is doing well in her program today so far.
Okay, have to get up get dressed and get coffee before I decide to just stay in bed all day. LOL!

It's called astral projection. Something I tried and was unable to do it.

The thread got worse and they went into a pro life thread to cause problems. I'm just trying to get rebalanced.

 

[Carina]

I so wanna hug everyone.

And get drunk off rum and coke.

One of these is possible.
-----------------

How's the rebalancing going @Jean4?

 

[Jean4]

I so wanna hug everyone.

And get drunk off rum and coke.

One of these is possible.
-----------------

How's the rebalancing going @Jean4?

Drinking chicken broth trying.

 

[Carina]

Drinking chicken broth trying.

Is the chicken broth good?

I've sometimes drank vegetable broth plain... it's not too bad... but not as good as i had hoped. Granted I drank it from the cupboard.

 

[Jean4]

I drink veggie broth from the carton all the time and mushroom. This is the broth from the Lipton cup of soup. I just don't add the noodles.

 

[Carina]

Ahh :)

Yeah the broth I discovered is better warm... but not hot... but at least warm lol.

sometimes I just didn't care enough to warm it though!

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Sometimes I like to stand too close to the fire in life, then I regret it later.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I'm really wanting to just drink wine all day. And nap. Wine and nap.

 

[Carina]

Sometimes I like to stand too close to the fire in life, then I regret it later.
View attachment 25458

My best friend once rolled in a fire when drunk... then he called a woman and confesed his love for her....

I and our other woman friend *may* have encouraged it because we were evil. And well, kinda wanted him to either be happy, or get it out of his system with a rejection.

I'm really wanting to just drink wine all day. And nap. Wine and nap.

I like this idea. I'm wanting rum and coke... and wine. :D

 

[BlueWidow]

Sometimes I like to stand too close to the fire in life, then I regret it later.
View attachment 25458

Are you okay?

 

[Carina]

Sometimes I like to stand too close to the fire in life, then I regret it later.
View attachment 25458

Although... (now that I"m not being watched as I'm at work and someone was behind me so I was being cautious).... What type of fire and standing too close were *you* meaning by this?
I'm hoping nothing anywhere near as bad as the image!