Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Back. Just ate dinner. My mom asked me what my plans are now that I'm out of college and to be honest, I don't know. I don't feel ready for a job yet as I feel like I'll screw it up somehow due to my incompetence, but I don't feel like taking on a a lot of debt from the last 2 years of college. I wish I could just drop dead
First off, what did you have for dinner?

Second. Let's think rationally. What would your dream occupation be?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
First off, what did you have for dinner?

Second. Let's think rationally. What would your dream occupation be?
Ribs and mashed potatoes. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm thinking computer science
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
WhyIsLife56

WhyIsLife56

Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
Nov 4, 2019
1,075
Weirdly enough, today I had a dream I was posting a goodbye thread. I think it's a sign.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Sideswipe and Carina
Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
Ribs and mashed potatoes. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm thinking computer science
Computer science can be fun--lots of different areas that fit within it. Anything specific? Like programming, networking, game design like things, website design, etc?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe, Squiddy and Jean4
W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
Where have you been? How are you feeling the day after?
I slept all day lol. I don't feel too sick surprisingly. I have bad insomnia so I usually don't go to bed until around 4 am ish.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe, Carina and Jean4
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Ribs and mashed potatoes. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm thinking computer science
And you didn't take pics or share???? I'm telling!!!!
OK. Computer Science. Something I know nothing about. What specifically interests you? Would you like to teach, develop software or what?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe and Squiddy
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Computer science can be fun--lots of different areas that fit within it. Anything specific? Like programming, networking, game design like things, website design, etc?
Either game design or programming
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe and Carina
Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
Weirdly enough, today I had a dream I was writing a goodbye thread. I think it's a sign.
Every night I dream of offing myself. I think of it as your subconscious letting things leak into your conscious as it organizes information, with your thoughts being the center of your dream's focus.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe and WhyIsLife56
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Either game design or programming
I know they have it in New York. Do they have a Learning Annex or some kind of place where you can take a course just to see if you like it?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
WhyIsLife56

WhyIsLife56

Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
Nov 4, 2019
1,075
Every night I dream of offing myself. I think of it as your subconscious letting things leak into your conscious as it organizes information, with your thoughts being the center of your dream's focus.
I always have thoughts of committing suicide and what that would feel like but I usually don't dream of it so it was weird. It felt so real.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Sideswipe and Carina
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I know they have it in New York. Do they have a Learning Annex or some kind of place where you can take a course just to see if you like it?
I'm not sure
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Weirdly enough, today I had a dream I was posting a goodbye thread. I think it's a sign.
It could be you are spending time on this site and it is carrying over.
I'm not sure
That is your next assignment. Take a day course and see if you like it. No strings attached. No grades. So there is no stress.,
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe, Carina and Squiddy
WhyIsLife56

WhyIsLife56

Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
Nov 4, 2019
1,075
It could be you are spending time on this site and it is carrying over.
It could also be because it's the New Year and the stress of dealing with another year and all that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe and Carina
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
It could also be because it's the New Year and the stress of dealing with another year and all that.
Could be a million things. As Freud says, sometimes a banana is just a banana ;)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe and Carina
Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
I always have thoughts of committing suicide and what that would feel like but I usually don't dream of it so it was weird. It felt so real.
Yeah dreams can sometimes really shake you up sometimes. I've been woken up crying because my dream was so real when dreaming of sad things even.

But yeah, things you see throughout the day, something you're thinking about, you can almost intentionally make your dreams be what you want even. It could even be your brain's way of organizing you being under stress given what you read daily.

Hard to tell.
Could be a million things. As Freud says, sometimes a banana is just a banana ;)

I still wouldn't eat a banana in a dream though just in case lol.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Sideswipe, Jean4 and WhyIsLife56
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
It could be you are spending time on this site and it is carrying over.

That is your next assignment. Take a day course and see if you like it. No strings attached. No grades. So there is no stress.,
Okay. Also, I asked my mom if I could go back to this partial hospitalization program to see if my feelings of ctb will ever go away and she asked me if I even needed it and that I "appeared" to be doing better. If only she knew how much I want to ctb
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Sideswipe, Jean4 and Carina
WhyIsLife56

WhyIsLife56

Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
Nov 4, 2019
1,075
Yeah dreams can sometimes really shake you up sometimes. I've been woken up crying because my dream was so real when dreaming of sad things even.

But yeah, things you see throughout the day, something you're thinking about, you can almost intentionally make your dreams be what you want even. It could even be your brain's way of organizing you being under stress given what you read daily.

Hard to tell.
Yeah the human brain and real world became so complicated its hard to tell what the true meaning of it is.
Could be a million things. As Freud says, sometimes a banana is just a banana ;)
Lol
Carl Jung also said something about dreams as well.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Okay. Also, I asked my mom if I could go back to this partial hospitalization program to see if my feelings of ctb will ever go away and she asked me if I even needed it and that I "appeared" to be doing better. If only she knew how much I want to ctb
A partial would be good. Don't expect your mom to understand. I'm proud of you! You have insight into your illness. Do you have a good one?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
Guys I need your help with job ideas I can do so I can make money for my dogs surgery. Any ideas for no customer interaction jobs that don't require a degree or heavy lifting? I'm thinking something like office building cleaning but I'm worried I'll be in pain with my back and fibromyalgia.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
A partial would be good. Don't expect your mom to understand. I'm proud of you! You have insight into your illness. Do you have a good one?
Yeah the program was pretty good, though last I heard, they got rid of some of the therapists and added new ones so I'm unsure if it's still good
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
Okay. Also, I asked my mom if I could go back to this partial hospitalization program to see if my feelings of ctb will ever go away and she asked me if I even needed it and that I "appeared" to be doing better. If only she knew how much I want to ctb

I'm surprised she asked that, I mean that's not something a person would ask if they didn't need/want it. You know you better than anyone.
It honestly takes a lot to do something like that and admit it! Takes a lot of courage sometimes too.

Nothing wrong with having hope.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Sideswipe, BlueWidow and Squiddy
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Guys I need your help with job ideas I can do so I can make money for my dogs surgery. Any ideas for no customer interaction jobs that don't require a degree or heavy lifting? I'm thinking something like office building cleaning but I'm worried I'll be in pain with my back and fibromyalgia.
Amazon customer service
Cable company customer service
Any place. I did customer service for a healthcare company.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
WhyIsLife56

WhyIsLife56

Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
Nov 4, 2019
1,075
Carl Jung mentioned that dreams can have symbolism behind them. That it was the brain's attempt of communicating with the person who dreamed.
I think that's what it would be.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe and Carina
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Yeah the program was pretty good, though last I heard, they got rid of some of the therapists and added new ones so I'm unsure if it's still good
Well, try it out. If it's a reputable place, I am sure they hired good therapists.

If not, you can try a different one. Then you can come here to let us know how your day went. ;)
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe, Carina and Squiddy
Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
Guys I need your help with job ideas I can do so I can make money for my dogs surgery. Any ideas for no customer interaction jobs that don't require a degree or heavy lifting? I'm thinking something like office building cleaning but I'm worried I'll be in pain with my back and fibromyalgia.
You might be able to look for "email customer service" like positions. Not sure how that'd be phrased--but there are some jobs (like at car dealerships) that sometimes have people who just email things to customers.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
Amazon customer service
Cable company customer service
Any place. I did customer service for a healthcare company.
But I still have to talk to customers on the phone and I failed pretty miserably at that lol. My past job was in a call center. I didn't handle it very well. They were going to fire me but I just quit.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Well, try it out. If it's a reputable place, I am sure they hired good therapists.

If not, you can try a different one. Then you can come here to let us know how your day went. ;)
Okay :)
I'm surprised she asked that, I mean that's not something a person would ask if they didn't need/want it. You know you better than anyone.
It honestly takes a lot to do something like that and admit it! Takes a lot of courage sometimes too.

Nothing wrong with having hope.
Yeah I'm not sure why she asked me
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Sideswipe and Carina
W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
You might be able to look for "email customer service" like positions. Not sure how that'd be phrased--but there are some jobs (like at car dealerships) that sometimes have people who just email things to customers.
Hmm I'll have to look into that. I wouldn't mind just doing emails. At my call center job did both phone and emails. Previous jobs I had as receptionist they made me do both phones and emails as well.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sideswipe and Jean4

Similar threads

kittengirl7
Replies
1
Views
508
Suicide Discussion
Some place nice
Some place nice
enjoy
Replies
15
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
Hopeindeath!
H