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tearsinrain
Member
- Aug 5, 2018
- 64
Of course!Can I ask you guys for one last piece of advice?
Of course!Can I ask you guys for one last piece of advice?
It's completely up to you. But just know if he picks up and you start talking, it may change your mindset about leaving right now. On the other hand, if it goes to voicemail, it could give you more of a sense of peace.I have an ex. He meant a lot to me. I gave up everything (Ivy league school, my home) to move to Florida to be with him. And then I found out he cheated and lied to me the whole time about who he was, his morals, etc. I feel he is flawed like we all are, but a good person, though he didn't treat me well. I saw him 2 months ago and he seemed to be suffering from delusions, psychosis, etc. I really care for him and have prayed for him, reached out to him, etc, but for some reason he is just really angry (or was as of two months ago). Haven't heard from his since. I think about him everyday and just wondering if I should reach out to him before I go to tell him I love him, even if it's to his voicemail. Or should I not because he really mistreated me and his actions say he doesn't care..?
I just want to know if I should say fuck it and tell him one last time I love him and forgive him before I go.
I think that's your decision to make. You seem to want to do that, so maybe do it?I have an ex. He meant a lot to me. I gave up everything (Ivy league school, my home) to move to Florida to be with him. And then I found out he cheated and lied to me the whole time about who he was, his morals, etc. I feel he is flawed like we all are, but a good person, though he didn't treat me well. I saw him 2 months ago and he seemed to be suffering from delusions, psychosis, etc. I really care for him and have prayed for him, reached out to him, etc, but for some reason he is just really angry (or was as of two months ago). Haven't heard from his since. I think about him everyday and just wondering if I should reach out to him before I go to tell him I love him, even if it's to his voicemail. Or should I not because he really mistreated me and his actions say he doesn't care..?
I just want to know if I should say fuck it and tell him one last time I love him and forgive him before I go.
I'm not going to tell him I'm doing anything. To be honest it'll probably go to his voicemail. Just saying I love him and I forgive him.I think that's your decision to make. You seem to want to do that, so maybe do it?
Be aware he might feel awful knowing he couldn't stop you? I'm not sure I'm not thinking straight I'm shaking. Holy fuck I hope you don't do it.
Good luck, I hope it goes well. I'm very jealous lol! I'm feeling the pressure to ctb myself soon.Hi guys,
I had been "lurking" here for a while and then finally created an account when I first purchased N. After a few hiccups with the whole N thing, I finally received it. Then I waited a couple of weeks to save up money for a hotel, take off of work, and spend time with my family and friends and eat a lot of good food lol.
I just had my best "last" meal at a phenomenal seafood restaurant in Queens. (It won't be my last meal but was the best food I will have before I ctb). Tomorrow I check into the hotel. I will spend one day at the hotel, probably watching movies I love, listening to music, going to eat, gamble and have a drink or two. Then on Friday I will ctb.
I will update this thread tomorrow because I can't tell anyone else in my life what I will be up to. I really appreciate everyone here. Even if we didn't speak personally, reading everyone's comments makes me feel like we are a quirky, beautiful family in a way. :)
Also, does anyone else read "ctb" as "kick the bucket"? LOL. Please tell me I'm not the only one lol!
<3
I think you should do what feels right to you and gives you peace of mind...I'm not going to tell him I'm doing anything. To be honest it'll probably go to his voicemail. Just saying I love him and I forgive him.
I hop you know it's okay to walk away if you want.I just did. left a quick voicemail. I'm trembling but going to drink the N in a few.
It sounds like you did the right thing to give you peace of mind. I'm glad it went to voicemail----but you know he will hear it and know you love and forgive him <3I just did. left a quick voicemail. I'm trembling but going to drink the N in a few.
Im glad you got to leave the voicemail and say what you wanted to say, I will do something similar when the time comesI just did. left a quick voicemail. I'm trembling but going to drink the N in a few.
Thank youIm glad you got to leave the voicemail and say what you wanted to say, I will do something similar when the time comes
I agree with the above comment that you can postpone if you arent ready just yet, but if you are ready now then Im wishing you the best and sending you all my strength.
People made a Thread about Youfor me it was cease to breath at first lol
This is not the thread for that. Please don't disrupt Done's thread, it's very inconsiderate.People made a Thread about You
They all thought You had ctb.
You're spreading your anxiety around, man. Just try to relax. She's an adult and can make her own decision, whether she goes today or not.I think I might have to go throw up. If I miss your final words, I'm sorry. I hope I join you soon <3
Okay. SorryYou're spreading your anxiety around, man. Just try to relax. She's an adult and can make her own decision, whether she goes today or not.
It's people like You. . .and I wonder why I'm Suicidal.This is not the thread for that. Please don't disrupt Done's thread, it's very inconsiderate.
It's okay to come back to this another day. <3 don't pressure yourself into stuff.I have no choice, I've been ready and survival instinct is making me tremble. I don't know why because I was at such peace all the days leading up to this, including yesterday and even this morning. But now I'm trembling. I have to do it though. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to calm my nerves? I will listen to music now, also going to smoke a cigarette outside. Anyone else have any suggestions? With N it's advised not to drink alcohol ahead of time and I don't have benzos in the hotel. ANY Advice to kick this instinct?
I personally listen to motivational music when I want to do something that makes me anxious.
But I also want to beg you to stop. I shouldn't. But I want to. But I shouldn't. But I want to. Oh God, poor cookie.![]()
Okay, imma be 100% silent form now and only observe. I'm really toxic I'm sorry >_<If this was my thread and I was about to commit suicide, this message would drive me nuts and make me even more nervous...
What if you try writing down all of your reasons? All of the shit things that have been on your mind, that have always stayed on your mind.I have no choice, I've been ready and survival instinct is making me tremble. I don't know why because I was at such peace all the days leading up to this, including yesterday and even this morning. But now I'm trembling. I have to do it though. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to calm my nerves? I will listen to music now, also going to smoke a cigarette outside. Anyone else have any suggestions? With N it's advised not to drink alcohol ahead of time and I don't have benzos in the hotel. ANY Advice to kick this instinct?
It's ok, it's not driving me crazy. I'm usually a rational person, I've been up until this point. It's not me and I'm in sheer panic. I'm going outside to smoke a cigarette. I have to do this tonight though, it's the reason I stayed in a hotel for 3 days, blew all my money, etc. I won't have this shot again for a while and I will be so mad at myself. I feel like I'm being a little bitch and it's so not me. I have to do this. I seriously will appreciate any practical advice and suggestions to overcome this survival instinct/nerves.If this was my thread and I was about to commit suicide, this message would drive me nuts and make me even more nervous...
I know your intentions are of good nature, but this is a suicide forum. and right now, Done needs support to get through this...
I have no choice, I've been ready and survival instinct is making me tremble. I don't know why because I was at such peace all the days leading up to this, including yesterday and even this morning. But now I'm trembling. I have to do it though. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to calm my nerves? I will listen to music now, also going to smoke a cigarette outside. Anyone else have any suggestions? With N it's advised not to drink alcohol ahead of time and I don't have benzos in the hotel. ANY Advice to kick this instinct?
More anxiety. This is why I wouldn't want to post on my last day. I don't want to be swayed either way.But I also want to beg you to stop. I shouldn't. But I want to. But I shouldn't. But I want to.
It's ok, it's not driving me crazy. I'm usually a rational person, I've been up until this point. It's not me and I'm in sheer panic. I'm going outside to smoke a cigarette. I have to do this tonight though, it's the reason I stayed in a hotel for 3 days, blew all my money, etc. I won't have this shot again for a while and I will be so mad at myself. I feel like I'm being a little bitch and it's so not me. I have to do this. I seriously will appreciate any practical advice and suggestions to overcome this survival instinct/nerves.